GOP Trombie Congressman Louie Gohmert, Stand Up And Take A Bow, Fool!

When it rains, it pours, which is why we have a bonus twofer Friday for fool bows. I spent most of my day compiling factoids for my Peter Navarro piece, but in the middle of the afternoon, they played two snippets of Louie Gohmert making an ass of himself again, and they blew me away.

What blows me away is simple. Since the GOP days of The Southern Strategy, the GOP has never really bothered to hide its overt racism, it just kept it under a bushel basket. Instead they used a series of code phrases, nicknamed dog whistles to get the word out without appearing overtly racist. But Trump changed all of that. And now you have mental empty bowls like Gohmert, Laborious MTG, Lauren Boebert, Jim He groped me coach! Jordan and Matt Sugar Daddy saying the quiet part at the top of their lungs. And nobody cares.

Ya know, I read one time somewhere that Louie Goober was a Texas state judge once upon a time. And I can’t stop asking myself the question, Judge of what? Traffic court? Naw, Goober is too scatterbrained to understand traffic laws. I’m guessing he was either in charge of parking tickets issued by meter maids, or sat in probate court, where he kept wanting to interview the deceased to find out where he wanted his money to go.

But Gohmert elevated his game to a whole new level this time. The first snippet of Louie was from yesterday, appearing remotely at a House Judiciary committee hearing to mark up a suite of gun control bills. Gohmert was infuriated by the scathing rhetoric of Democratic CA congressman Eric Swalwell, who painted the GOP as more beholden to the NRA and campaign contributions than to the children of America.

Gohmert was almost apoplectic, his jowls and waddles shook with rage. He said something like, I am shocked and stunned by what I just heard from the floor! This is inexcusable! It was blatant politicization of a human tragedy! Dear God man, don’t you think that we have feelings too?

News Flash, Goober! No, we don’t. Swalwell nailed you soulless ghouls spot on. See my previous list of your rogues gallery for proof. You death eaters offer thoughts and prayers after every mass tragedy, meanwhile think about what you want for lunch, and then vote against common sense gun control measures that could stop the carnage. Shut. The.Fuck. Up!

But then Trombie Peter Navarro had to go and get indicted and arrested, and Goober finally lost his shit. He literally had no choice but to Appear on FUX News, and go off like a rocket chasing after that Tesla cruising out in space.

Screwy Louie’s drivel was inspired, This is an outrage, a total outrage! But sadly it’s nothing less than we’ve come to expect from this current congress and administration. The way it is right now in Washington, if you’re a Republican, you can’t even lie to congress anymore! And if you’re a Republican, you can’t even lie to the FBI anymore! 

Louie, I take back most of what I just said. You got it in one! The GOP can’t lie to the congress of the US, and can’t lie to the FBI. But where your pathetic whining falls apart is when you make it seem like this is some kind of special punishment from the 7th level of Democratic hell, reserved only for Republicans.

Actually shitheels, it’s against the law for anybody to lie to congress, the FBI, or any other sworn government official. And that includes Democrats! And I can prove it. Because earlier this week, a former lawyer for the Clinton campaign was up on charges inspired by Trump hatchetman John Durham for lying to the FBI! And here’s the McGuffin. It took the jury less than 6 hours to acquit him! You had your day in court. I’ll leave it to you to figure out where things went so wrong.

And so, with no further ado. TX GOP congressman Louie Gohmert, for being so soulless and lacking in empathy that you actually called out being soulless and lacking in empathy, and for being brain dead enough to come right out and admit that Republicans lie to the congress and the FBI all the time, Stand up and take a bow, fool! In fact, take two, that shit was inspired!