Well, for the Convention at least the YUUUUUGE Ear Bandage Trump sported from the time he made his first appearance (on Monday) appears to have won the debate. Not Trump of course but delegates could be encouraged to imitate it with EAR DIAPERS or decorate their right ears with blood. Fake blood of course, or maybe with a magic marker, The more creative might even draw stitches across the middle of their ear to simulate Eric’s contention half Trump’s ear was blown off. Oh wait, Eric also said NO stitches were needed to put it back on. I guess if his sperm donor would magically will away bone spurs he could will half of his ear back into place with no stitches to hold it in place! (HUGE bone spurs. The doctor said no one has ever seen such bone spurs. When you think about that Trump wasn’t lying, just implying. No one ever saw such bone spurs because they never existed) But moving forward I can guarantee two things. First is that in his low-energy lame speech when Trump said it was the last time he’d talk about getting “shot” (nicked actually) he was lying. Second, I think EAR DIAPERS will be a feature at Trump rallies moving forward.
However, we’ll also see people sporting “bloody” ears.
You might have asked yourself ‘Hey Denis – what the hell are you talking about purple fingers for?’ Fair question for those who forgot the early years of Baby Bush’s disastrous invasion of Iraq. Our “peacekeeping” forces installed a provisional government but finally the time came to write a Constitution and for that it was deemed Iraqis should get to pick the delegates who would form their new government. So first thing in 2005 for the first time since Saddam had seized power actual free and fair elections were held. Naturally there was concern that the many Saddam loyalists would cheat and vote multiple time by going to multiple places. A simple system was set up. Once someone voted, they dipped their right index finger into a bowl of ink. The kind that would take many days if not weeks to wash out. There were images of joyous Iraqi men and WOMEN too proudly holding out their hands with their purple stained fingers to showed they’d voted. It was actually inspiring.
However, things in Iraq weren’t nearly as rosy as Bush 43 and his neocon administration tried to make them out to be. But having a free election and all those videos and pictures of Iraqi’s celebrating by showing their purple fingers fomented a plan. To a person when the SOTU came around GOP legislators showed up on the floor with purple index fingers! (Man were they pissed that some Democrats did too!) Knowing Bush would the just happened Iraqi elections both at that part and in other references to “progress” in Iraq they stood up and waved their purple fingers – a quite deliberate taunt. A ‘F**k all y’all that doubted this war.’ Some (I think it was Senator Phil Graham) openly sneered. A bunch of fat old white guys playing ‘Billy Bad-Ass’, trying to be the cool kids doing some bullying in the grade school recess yard outside.
I’ll guarantee you I’m not the only one who remembers that. And since the GOP has chosen to anoint Trump as “God’s CHOSEN one’ then it’s going to be a screw Jeebus – Trump is the second coming cause he’s BETTER than Jesus.’ (Trump as you know likes Saviors who didn’t go and get themselves crucified. Therefore Republicans will accept the Gospel of Trump and believe the same thing. Getting back to the topic at hand, I think we’d have seen Trump style ear bandages, or rather EAR DIAPERS no matter what at the convention. But I also know that without a doubt the possibility of encouraging delegates to sport “bloody” ears was kicked around. Probably there wasn’t enough time to hand out little vials of something that would dry quickly yet still look like fresh blood, but wash off in the shower once back at the hotel.
Movie style fake blood or homemade concoctions would have been too messy. Sure, some delegates dress casual but most are in nice clothes and especially on Thursday night when their newly nominated ‘New Jeebus” spoke they’d be wearing their Sunday best. So, for the truly faithful it was the EAR DIAPERS. No matter. There will be MAGA rallies to come where people are quite casually dressed. Hell, they won’t even care if their MAGA shirts and hats get stained with ‘The blood of Trump, shed for US’. They’ll probably buy a new version (knowing they’ll be giving more money to their ‘Savior’ which will please him) and frame the stained one and hang it on the wall. With a ‘Certificate’ when and where they anointed themselves with ‘The Blood of Trump.’
If all that isn’t nauseating enough I hope you haven’t eaten in the last few hours. Fast forward to when voting begins. MAGAs heading to polling stations to vote for Trump, wearing their EAR DIAPERS. Depending on various state’s laws about politicking inside polling places they may or may not get to keep them on inside and while voting. However it won’t matter because once they’ve cast their ballot they won’t even wait to get outside. They will pull out their little bottle/packet (fast food ketchup packets for example) of whatever they want to use to simulate blood and smear their right ear with it. And a couple of streaks (Just like Trump had they’ll proclaim) their faces too. Kind of like Christians saving the Palms from Palm Sunday, then at some point giving them back to be burned so their preacher/priest can mark them on the forehead with the ashes the next year! Since Trump is replacing Jesus as Republican’s Savior (He wasted no time indicating God had spared him – and why) Republican/MAGA’s “Christians” will wear their “Blood of TRUMP” until it’s time to go to bed. Hell, If it’s all dried up they might not wash it off even then!
Sorry if I made you puke. But mark my words, EAR DIAPERS won’t be the only thing that comes from Trump getting nicked by a bullet (or something – it might NOT have been a bullet after all) in Butler PA. They already were deifying him and by pure dumb luck the young man who started shooting was a lousy shot and didn’t hit his mark. (I still wonder if Trump was his actual target but that’s a different and more serious topic)Â What’s important now and moving forward is this: Republicans now believe (and some are saying as Trump, their prophet and their Jeebus’ replacement of Jesus in The Trinity) Trump literally shed his blood – for US. Mark my words, among Republicans “The Blood of Trump” is going to become something even more revolting than them swooning over Lee Greenwood singing Proud To Be An American.
I either need hard core drugs to make what I’m seeing fade from my consciousness, or if the reality I perceive is some warped version of trapped between reality and the Looking Glass the right drugs to counter-act them. I long ago stopped believing things couldn’t get more batsh*t insane, a variation on no matter how bad things get they can always get worse. Frankly I feel like I’m caught in the first Star Wars movie, trapped in in the trash compactor with the heroes and the memorable moment when the words at least it can’t get any worse, followed by the sound of something alive in there with them:
Since the shooting it Butler I knew once again things would get worse. This past week proved me correct. But trust me – it’s going to get worse. Again and again. If I had extra money I’d buy stock in barf bags.
(For the record I lifted the EAR DIAPER from a guy known on the internet as ShoweCap. If don’t don’t mind, or like me laugh at poop humor and significantly more “offensive” language and jokes/satire his once a week rants on his blog are highly entertaining and this is where I picked up the term. Whether HE lifted it from somewhere I don’t know but I hope it catches on. GOPers won’t be able to shed it like they did when for a while they proudly proclaimed themselves to be TEA BAGGERS – only to find out what the term actually means. They were of course embarrassed and quickly had to come up with a new label. “Tea Party” is far from the kind of tough guy/gal thing they’d like but they’re stuck with it. I’ve seen Kotex Head and Sanitary Napkin bandage/head but I think we should all coalesce behind EAR DIAPER because of Trump and his Depends which sometimes it’s clear he wears!)
Denis…I try to be a pacifist but these mutherfuckering nazi child killers make it HARD! I’m reminded of the scene in Billy Jack where the former green beret goes into the ice cream shop where the town bullies are humiliating the American Indian kids by saying they are going to make them white and pour flour on them. I’m sure you know the scene and what happened next. Tom Loughlin,(not sure of his last name), says: Jean tells me to be nonviolent and to control my temper. But when I see these beautiful children treated like this…I just want to GO BESERK!!! He then kicks ass and throws the biggest guy through the plate glass window. He is surrounded by the racists in the town but takes a number of them down before they corral him. I would like to get through this life without becoming a solider again but it’s looking dicey. All I can say is I WON’T GO GENTLE INTO TRUMP’S CONCENTRATION CAMP. So draw your own goddamn conclusions. Freedom requires sacrifice, something the pampered assholes in our own party fail to grasp. Thanks gop for putting millions of military weapons on the street. A bullet never lies. People do.
I won’t start anything but I’ve said here before (and we have conservatives that read this blog) if they want to take me out they are going to need a group because they by grab will. If some gang of MAGA goobers comes for me I’m going to hell in a crowd. I know you feel the same and will act accordingly if it comes to that. I know we’re not alone. I also know the bulk of the MAGAs are exactly like Trump. They talk the (tough) talk but when it gets to personally backing it up they want no part of it. However there are enough out there that probably will try. But they’ll look at their list of names and of that smaller group willing to attack others and somehow most will find a reason to skip past those of us with training and experience who they know can and will put up not just a fight but one which will cost some of them their own useless, despicable lives. Again I say they might send enough to do me in but for at least some of THEM it will be their last act on this earth. And the ones that walk away will regret having taken part. Even if unscathed or relatively so they won’t go around messing with anyone else. They will become MAGA versions of Chickenhawks, just like Trump. Or the draft dodging (Vietnam) Lee Greenwood. At least with the RNC over I won’t have to choke back vomit hearing multiple renditions of him and his faux patriot song every freaking day! He’ll “Stand up, next to you and defend her every day?” What utter bullshit. He was NEVER willing to do so and he wouldn’t now. That my friend is the lion’s share of Meal Team Six MAGA caressing their assault weapons like they are gently jerking off.
Ear diaper?
It’s for soaking up blood.
Wouldn’t that make it an ear tampon?
Whichever is a more accurate description, his cult members wearing the damned things look silly as hell. Just when you think they can’t look any more pathetic, stupid, and basically many bricks short of a load, they come up with this asinine look. At this point I’m all for just calling each of von shitzi’s supporters Bowl Cut. I call my dog that sometimes when he is just acting like he is missing a large portion of what is not a very big piece of grey matter to begin with…but my dog still acts smarter than shitzi’s cult members.
Denis…you and I both know one of the biggest mistakes anyone can make in a fight is underestimating your enemy. These clueless phucks actually think they are invincible. Big phucking mistake. My old man, being the hellraiser he was, was in a number of fights. He gave me great advice by telling me the worst beating he ever endured was by a guy much smaller than him. These phuckers rattle their swords all the phucking time, evidently scaring the shit out of the nice citizens, causing panic in the ranks. They forget some dogs get fired up when threatened, and those are the ones who will rip your head off and piss down your throat. The marines are those dogs. So are children who grow up with guns and knives in their face, as I did. Fear? That’s a luxury I stopped having at five years old. What’s the saying? A coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave die only once. Brave or well trained…doesnt matter. I plan to die only one phucking time. I’ll leave fear to the nice folks.