I am so pleased to discover this. I have been saying for some time that the latest coronavirus conspiracy theories don’t include Big Foot or UFOs, but we’re there now! Yes indeed! Right-wingnuttia has just revealed that the Pfizer vaccine — which is the one I took in the spring — contains an alien life form.

“Nor is it known what effect this alien lifeform will have upon its host.”

It’s time to speculate. What do you guys think will happen?

  1. Ursula will be able to control slot machines and make millions;
  2. Ursula will just be hanging out when the space alien bursts out of her chest;
  3. Ursula will turn into a zombie and lead the zombie apocalypse;
  4. The 5G towers will start broadcasting mind control signals to Ursula but she will deflect them with her rectal dilator;
  5. Something else, see my comment below.

Here are some heartwarming stories from people who have already met their aliens.

Now here’s a realistic fact to burst the bubble. How sad.

The problem with this is, is that while you and I laugh, there are enough people out there who take this seriously and believe it. And many of them are old enough to vote. That’s the horror story here, not the tripod beings wading through your bloodstream.

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  1. I forgot to ask others to pray for a more intelligent species to show up & rock our world. Like a cosmic social worker to place those of us, who are being abused by cruel, self righteous morons, in a rational loving alien family.

  2. Many writing pens have tips that are 1mm or less. Heck, you can walk into any store and buy pencils with 0.7 or 0.5mm leads. They’re easily visible.
    Also, if there were any graphene oxide in vaccines, the vaccines wouldn’t be colorless liquid. They’d be gray or brown or black, because that’s what color graphene and graphite are.
    (It’s pencil lead and charcoal and soot.)

    There’s no aluminum in the vax, either.

  3. If people believe this crap they are totally insane. There is only reality; there is no alternate reality and no nutty conspiracy theories that are beyond belief. This has to stop because a lot of already weak-minded people are getting really messed up.

    • I ran psychiatric assessments & admissions at a prestigious university & at a free standing private hospital. If anyone were brought in with questions concerning their mental status, their grasp of reality would be questioned. These folks would be placed under involuntary commitment due to fixed delusions, which either they would have to lie, or find themselves in locked ward until they convinced several folks they were safe to be discharged. If they fought, they would be physically & chemically restrained. Doctors hate to be sued, so they better not mention ANY crazy conspiracy theories. Several prominent psychiatrists have already gone on TV to warn us about trump, given all clinicians have a duty to warn the community. Guess now, after January 6th, his fixed delusions are clearly deadly.

    • That wasn’t Twitter, it was on Gab. PatriotTakes just reports on the far-right alternatives to Twitter, so the rest of us don’t have to look.

  4. Personally I would warn ANY intelligent life out there to steer clear of this planet or just sterilize it. Or just round up the crazies and sterilize them.

    • U don’t have to. If they are smart enough to cross interstellar space, I am pretty sure they have seen the evidence for keeping themselves out of harms way. May explain thousands of sightings,( I’ve one myself on cape cod in 1980), but NO ONE HAS APPEARED. I wouldn’t either. Probably the earth version of “fuck’em” has been bantered about on the mothership.


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