Welcome, Donald Trump, to the first day of the restof your life. As a convicted felon. No more lounging around until 11, and then hitting the links. Even without prison routine, there’s just so much for a newly minted convict to do.
3:14 am  Poop rage on Bullsh*t Social that Michael Cohen will curse the day that little stoolie ever laid eyes on me~!
5:19 am  Slam the meat of your fist down on the now beeping alarm clock, laughing demonically as the innards squirt out of the now demolished shell
5:46 am  Dial up FUX NEWS to vent your spleen with the gang on FUX and Friends. Unfortunately the producer’s phone is busy. For two consecutive hours. After your 7th Call me back! voicemail, you give up
7:12 am  Scream racial obscenities at the Guatamalan maid who walked through the open door carrying fresh towels, ignoring the fact that she speak no English. Doesn’t matter, the fear in her eyes makes you feel better anyway
7:45 am  Give a largely uncovered rant in which you explain that Thw whole trial was a witch hunt, the judge is an *sshole, the jurors couldn’t pass kindergarten, and you’re still the rightful President who will crush Crooked Joe in November
8:32 am  Throw the plate with your ham-and-cheese omelet, double bacon, and extra hash browns off the wall of the Mar-A-Lago omelet bar when FUX News starts stumbling through the coverage of your guilty verdict again
9:01 am  Call ToddBlanche and tell him that he’s the dumbest son-of-a-bitch who ever got a law degree! He’s fired, and you want your money back or you’ll sue him for $1 billion
9:24 am  Order another omelet. Being a criminal mastermind f*ck up convict is hungry work
10:10 am  Hit the golf course to take your frustrations out on the golf balls, imagining Stormy Daniels’s face on each one
11:46 am  Return from the links when you’ve burned through your 3rd sleeve of balls before the 5th hole, and now down a 6 iron and a sand wedge resting at the bottom of two different water hazards
11:58 am  Call David Pecker and leave a voicemail, Thanks for stabbing me in the back, you pr*ck! I’ll burty you!
12:21 pm  back to Bullsh*t Social. Stormy Daniels would have been the worst lay in the history of mankind if I had touched her, and Michael Cohen couldn’t fix a squeaky hinge!
1:03 pm  You learned your lesson at breakfast. Finish your double bacon cheeseburger before hurling the plate full of cheddar chili fries off the dining room wall when FUX News once again opens the new hour with coverage of your convictions
1:50 pm  back on Bullsh*t Social to advise those 12 puny turncoats on the jury that when you find out who they are, and you will find out who they are, you’re going to buy all of their sleazy domiciles and chuck them out on the street!
2:15 pm  Two hours of executive time on the master bed to recharge your batteries for the trials ahead
4:20 pm  Call Bob Costello and tell him that he was a stud on the stand, but that the pipsqueak f*cked him over as badly as he did you. Offer him a spot on your upcoming appellate defense team
4:47 pm  Fire the Salvadoran cleaning staff dude who missed a chili spot at the bottom of the dining room wall. telling him you’re docking him his last two weeks pay for being a useless alien. God, that feels good!
5:08 pm  Back to Bullsh*t Social to promise your slobbering hounds that once you get back into the White House, it’s Judge Merchan who will feel the full weight of the judicial system coming down on top of his empty head!
5:34 pm  Call NewsMax to get your side of the story out before the Amercan people, only to be advised that they have a company policy prohibiting them from having convicted felons on the air
6:21 pm  Sit back in the living room, kick your feet up, and fire up Bloodsport on the DVR, skipping the dull talking parts, and chow down on a double KFC bucket. After all, tomorrow is another day.
I thank you for the privilege of your time.
Someday, and I hope it’s in my lifetime (I’m 75 so it needs to be soon), we will be able to go a whole day without the noise/face/BS of iDJT. The media is addicted to tRump, so it’s going to take a while for them to get back to the job of reporting real news, not gossip and inuendo. Please let it be soon because I’m fatigued by all this nonsense.
Now THAT is a full day Murf!
Him doing that much in a day?
Fiction.
Great potential outline of Reality Day 1. Maybe he’ll become so malevolent that even his own goons will start to become afraid of him and start leaving him – in droves.
You left off “Tell.Melania it is,Conjugal Visit time or he’ll replace her with someone younger, thinner and blonder.”
So you don’t think he’ll be doing his “mirror, mirror, on the wall” routine anymore?