I know this will come as a rude shock to you. We at PolitiZoom are mindful of shocks to the nervous system. So many people that read this blog are, shall we say, no longer spring chickens? We don’t want to give anybody a stroke. With that in mind, we now gently announce, in the soft low tone they use in recovery rooms, “Mike Lindell just moved the goalposts, You can forget about the human race being enlightened next week, July 16-17 as you were told to expect in June.”
What’s that you say? The “influencers” and “pundits” and the partridge in the pear tree, everything that Mike said we’d have next week, we still have to wait for? The election won’t be overturned next week? Trump won’t take up residence at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in time for Labor Day?
Thaaaaat’s right, Charlie Brown. The football got moved along with the goalposts. Maybe we should just call Mike Lindell “Lucy.” Lucy is also slang for LSD and people who listen to Lindell are definitely hallucinating if they believe him, so there is that reference. This was last month.
Mike Lindell has a new plan to reinstate Trump, a movie he has coming out next month that “is gonna change everything.” He says any politician in the US who says the election wasn’t stolen after his movie comes out should go to prison. pic.twitter.com/MulQBuEyAG
— Ron Filipkowski 🇺🇦 (@RonFilipkowski) June 11, 2022
The big shots from abroad must not have R.S,V.P.ed. Or something.
But there, you heard it with your own ears. Now here is what he’s saying today, at the Trump rally in Alaska.
Mike Lindell has a new date now to get Trump reinstated: “Aug 20-21. The biggest event in this country in our lifetimes. I believe it’s the most important event ever! .. Live-streamed to the world.” pic.twitter.com/ZUKqnbLe95
— Ron Filipkowski 🇺🇦 (@RonFilipkowski) July 9, 2022
Isn’t that wonderful? A life changing, history making event in Springfield, Missouri? Durrati lives in Missouri. Maybe he can cover this live. I’ll give him gas money and buy him a hamburger. We are a class act, here at PolitiZoom, when we send our crackerjack team of correspondents out into the wilds for first hand reporting. (I would even pop for a Motel 6 if I thought this was real.)
Why, think of it friends….Springfield could become the New Bethlehem. The place where St. Michael of the Cult of the Pillow, revealed the truth and saved America. Sing it with me, now:
“And in thy dark street shineth, the everlasting light, the hopes and fears of all the years are met with Thee tonight.”
Yes, friends. Use Promo Code NutCase60. We here at PolitiZoom will take your money and maybe we’ll charter a bus to Springfield. Oh! Wait! Lindell said this miracle was invitation only. Never mind. You know we won’t get an invite. Me in any event. Mikey doesn’t like me.
Stay home, Durrati. Give the cat a bath. Wash the truck. We mere plebes are not worthy to attend this holiest of holy events with the movers and shakers of the world who will decide the fate of America. We are but humble bloggers. Ours is not to reason why. Ours is to sit on the couch in our pajamas and drink beer and wait for this madness to show up on the internet and then tell the rest of the class.
Now, how many of you are planning to bet that Lindell is going to move the goalposts again in mid-August. Raise your hands….thought so.
In case people are wondering, Lindell is able to so frequently and easily move his goalposts because he has a special set – made of mylar filled with helium. Weighs less than a pair of his funky, cheap-ass pillows!
He does this over and over again but the rubes expect a different result. Didn’t Einstein say something about that behavioral pattern? Seems to ring a bell.
I think the Einstein quote is “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Another Einstein quote comes to mind. I can’t recall it verbatim but he said his sense of God was his sense of awe at the wonder of the universe. I think if he were alive today he’d paraphrase that – to something along the lines of his sense of bat-shit crazy was how crazy Mike Lindell is and that so many people believe his bullshit!
Just make sure you go to the right Springfield or you’ll miss Homer Simpson spilling the beans about Mr Burns faking the results
yeah, there are a zillion Springfields in the US. (Several states have more than one.)
I love it. Springfield as the place where history is made, the place where the American experiment in democracy comes to an end.
Holy Frijole! I’m at ground zero for the blessed event, he said Springfield, Mo! We have the Ozark Antique Auto Club Swap Meet that weekend…it’ll be like Woodstock for MAGA! I’ll be your correspondent on the ground! (Rubs hands gleefully).
This man is a fucking lunatic when will he be admitted into a psychiatric ward ? They better hurry because he just keeps getting worse really Lindell is a moron 🙄
As many times as pillow man has moved the goalposts, the damned field has got to be a mile long or better. And now his movies have police power…first time that’s happened. Who knew.
Liddell is dung beetle pushing his ball of sh#t down the road trying to stay relevant just to sell more crappy stuff.
Well so far the City of Springfield Missouri has not had any Permit for an event requested yet?
One would think this close to the REVELATION one would have at least reached out to the City to get a Permit going?
Do you realize if Mike Lindell was hanging by one arm on a cliff and had to pick between saving ‘Itself’ or praising The Trump, ‘It’d’ instinctively let go and stoically plunge into the abyss while fantasizing about getting reincarnated as The Trump’s boxer shorts?!
And ‘It’ should die of slow moving veneral diseases rashes that settle deep within It’s’ lying throat!
Also Ex–Former prez–The Donald–T Rump–The Trumpet and ‘Its’ Former Regime and Cronies and Henchmen and Minions–All should die by deep and slow moving rashes and of gigantic festering boils!