I can’t believe William Barr actually wants to have this fight.

No one can serve two masters   Matthew 6:24

Look, I get it. Kinda. When you’re used to cuffing around an inexplicably compliant congress, telling them who they can and can’t talk to, what they can and can’t see, you start to feel like Zeus, on coke, with a winning parley card in his pocket on a Friday night. But pride goeth before a fall, remember?

Bill Barr is fucked up. I mean, more than usual. As George Carlin liked to say, “Aloha means both hello and goodbye in Hawaiian. Which just goes to show, you spend long enough on an island, and you don’t know whether you’re coming or going.” And that’s where Barr is right now, turning in circles and singing the lyrics to “Lucy in the sky with diamonds.”

First, Tubby the Ewok decides to take his medicine on the citizenship question, before suddenly growing a pair, and deciding that bold action is needed, mainly by replacing experienced lawyers with completely inexperienced lawyers, only to get knocked down by a judge. All because Trump can’t shit, tweet, and think at the same time. And now he first decides to recuse himself from the Jeffrey Epstein matter, only to reverse himself 24 hours later with a “Ha-ha, fooled ya!” statement, flanked by a couple of guys who look like the secondary cast of “Dude, where’s my cat?”

There are many good reasons for Barr to recuse himself from this case, and the media are talking plenty about them, but they’ve overlooked the two best reasons for him to recuse. First, we’re talking about Jeffrey Epstein here. You can’t have a previous association with Epstein, and fail to not come off as filthy and disgusting as he is. Better to let that sleeping dog lie and stay out of it. And second, we’re talking about the freaking Southern District of New York!

And I’m sorry, but I just don’t think that the SDNY is a fan that William Barr wants to piss into. They’re not a table fan, they’re a turbine jet engine. They’re nicknamed the Sovereign District of New York for a reason, because they don’t play well in the sandbox with others. I think that the SDNY paid pretty close attention to Barr’s treatment of Robert Mueller, and congress, and was and is more than ready for the likes of Bill Barr.

Look at Barr’s immediate reaction, and its aftermath. NY US Attorney Geoffrey Berman comes out and announces, in scathing terms, the indictment of Epstein. Epstein’s previous connections to Trump are well known. When asked about the case, and his potential involvement, Barr is blase, saying only that he’s recused because of his previous affiliation with a law firm that represented Epstein in the Florida case. And then 24 hours later, Barr is doing his best rubber band man impression, tying himself in knots saying, “Well,I meant I’m recused from the Florida case investigation, of course I’ll muck up the New York case!” Likely following an enraged call from The Orange Julius saying, “Are you outta your fucking mind?!? Make this thing go away!”

Barr’s confused first reaction, quickly followed by his tortured and contorted second response makes it pretty clear that Geoffrey Berman didn’t tip his boss off that this was coming. And not having prior knowledge, Barr had no way of alerting His Lowness, and being made aware in advance of the peril this created for Trump, so he could craft his initial response correctly. Berman has masterfully left Barr with egg on his face, and a nice fat fait accompli in his pocket.

In their panic, either A) Trump, B) Barr, or C) Both are incredibly short sighted and stupid. Personally, my money is on C.Trump is his usual stupid self because he foolishly believe that he can make this problem, just like any other problem, disappear by a sheer force of will, and by sticking his head in the sand. And Barr is a moron because he has so slavishly pandered to Trump’s every childish whim that it is now impossible for him to do what is necessary, and advise Trump that with the media on high alert for every minute detail involving this case, it is impossible for Barr to successfully interfere with the case to protect Trump without making things worse. Especially with the SDNY’s connections to the New York media, by which I mean the worldwide media. And that way lies madness.

Because, while she may be gun shy about pulling the trigger on his boss, Nancy Pelosi would be overjoyed at the chance to impeach William Barr, it would give the Democrats nocturnal emissions for months. Remember, impeachment is a political exercise, it doesn’t require legal admissibility. The moment the Democrats even think that Barr is tinkering with the case to protect Trump, they can impeach him for obstruction of justice. And leave the Senate Republicans with the task of acquitting a man that the Democrats will have painted for the country as somebody who is once again trying to “Do an Acosta” for a filthy child rapist. And won’t that be fun heading into an election year for them? And impeaching Barr would beg the question of why was he interfering in a case that he had no vested personal interest in? Acting for somebody else maybe?

I’ve never seen anything like this in 62+ years. Johnson had Vietnam, Nixon had Watergate, Carter had the Iran hostage crisis, Reagan had Iran-Contra, George HW Bush had the Iran-Contra pardons (a Bill Barr production), and Clinton had Whitewater-Kewinsky. But the Trump administration is a literal Golden Corral buffet of sleaze and corruption, on every possible topic. I’m starting to think that Trump should change his campaign rally theme song from the Stones “You can’t always get what you want” to Warner Brothers “The merry-go-round broke down.” Somehow, it just seems more apropos.

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