Donald Trump is all a flutter, narcissistic hare brain that he is, with the upcoming 4th of July celebration in Washington, where he’ll wave his dwarfed digits at the parade in his honor — just like his BFF Kim Jong-Un gets to do all the time. He’s undoubtedly looking forward to penning Kim another love letter right after the parade, just one boy dictator to another, telling him all about the wondrous fly over, the record breaking crowds (of course) and the brand new Sherman tanks, all in a gaggle like geese. Except there’s a problem.
The only tank I want to see. pic.twitter.com/HFA8OXumS2
— jylynn???? (@jylynn) July 1, 2019
Now, here’s a tank, and if this little guy is named Sherman, Trump might be in business after all, with Sherman’s tank. Or, maybe the Pentagon can explain, “The *resident asked for tanks, and we said, ‘sure, man’ we’ve got some new ones.”
Twitter is leaping into action with solutions for this quandary,
Just leave a few spaces in the parade and play a soundtrack of tanks rolling past. He’ll think they’re real. Can’t wait to see him salute the tank commanders. Will he wear his Cadet Covfefe uniform with the Purple Bone Spurs?
— Privateer (@bhiltz2206) July 2, 2019
You're on to something!https://t.co/9iW45wSOtj
— ?2cannan? (@2cannan1) July 2, 2019
How about the Sherman tanks all went to the moon, which is a part of Mars, to join Space Force?
— Ursula Faw (@ursulafaw56) July 2, 2019
"The President wants Sherman tanks in for his fourth of July parade. We need a new Sherman tanks in three days, and I know just the troops to do it" ??♂️ ? pic.twitter.com/HLowRfPW7I
— Łøɍđ & ŁȺđɏ ĐøᵾȼħɇƀȺǥ ? (@CHARleeTrauma) July 1, 2019
There are enough running Shermans still in the wild to actually pull this off.
— Darol (@darolh) July 2, 2019
I wonder how that new press secretary is coming along? She got bruised in a scuffle in North Korea, when reporters were rushing to get near Trump and she can’t be pleased with having to explain this kerfuffle the first time she gets up to the podium — and just when will that be now, anybody know? Maybe she can call up Sean Spicer. You may remember his wondrous feat of losing an aircraft carrier — he’s an expert on military hardware and just the man to explain to the press secretary how to find Trump some Sherman tanks, because you know the *resident’s going to throw a tantrum and hurl his tommy tippee cup and everything when he doesn’t see them rolling down Pennsylvania Avenue. Independence Day so far is shaping up to be a Trumpian fiasco.
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I just read the remark on the “new” Sherman’s…….I laughed, shook my head and murmured to myself, “What a dumbass*
I murmured something else…. dumbass works too…????
Don’t we all when he does something this jaw-droppingly stupid?
I won’t get specific about what I wish for when I check the news each morning. A hint: it involves trump and mcconnell .
I think we need to define the word “new.” Does new mean:
1. Anything made after Edison invented the light bulb?
2. Anything Trump hasn’t personally set eyes on before, as in “they’re new to me?”
3. Anything Trump wants the word to mean, just like in Alice in Wonderland?
We’re going to have to get a polling feature on this site. Murfster suggested that recently, and I think it’s become a necessity.
Maybe get some of those “fake tanks” used in the south of England by the 1st U.S. Army Group (FUSAG) just before Operation Overlord in 1944, for our very own fake president.
A fake tank for a fake president is a match made in heaven. Or, we could do tank holograms. But here’s the best idea of all: have Fox News photoshop some tank footage and tell Trump how much they enjoyed the tanks. If Trump hears that there were tanks, on Fox News, he’ll believe they really were there and shut up about it. We’ll save effort and money.
Inflatable tanks, held up with hot air, how appropriate.
AP has a story – with photos – about tanks parked on flatcars in SE Washington, apparently brought up from Ft Stewart. Still no information on how they’re going to get to the Mall, if that’s their destination, without tearing up the streets.
(Personally, I like the idea of inflatable tanks. Or stealth tanks.)
Is there any word of the Trump diapered blimp coming to the capital?
I hear they have a permit to fly it over the Mall in the afternoon/evening.
The perfect company for inflatable tanks,
Wow, a kid with a BB gun could do great damage. You knew that a Trumpite stabbed the Trump blimp in London, right?
Quickly fixed with duct tape, I hear from my sister in London.
You load them on a lo boy trailer and haul it just as construction companies haul the largest bulldozers or other equiptment. Then you unload them on to heavy belting used in large quarry conveyor systems.
So we just admire them? Which beats rolling them down the road and tearing up the concrete. I guess I should see how Kim Jong-Un does it and then I’ll know the playbook. Silly me, to even have to ask.
I’d like to see a lot of these tanks …
https://blog.theanimalrescuesite.greatergood.com/cat-tanks/
Yes! A pootie tank division!! Rowrrrrr!!
Some proposed names for stenciling on the tank’s side:
General George S. Catton
Field Marshall Purrwin Rommel
Komrad Scratchsniff Pawlin
Michael Ducatis
Panzerkampfwagen VI Ausführung C “Stubentiger”
Heugel is building a second tank for his cat friends and plans on sharing the instructions with the public. That way, anyone can build their own cardboard cat tank!
The pooties tell us to invent these things, you know. Everything here is because the pooties told somebody to build it. They can afford to hang out and look lazy. They’ve got their servant class taking care of business.
Roll the last running German Tiger tank out of the Bovington museum in England, bring it on over here and have the Tiger duke it out with the Sherman- see the Sherman take an 88 in the turret from the Tiger. Great.
Too funny to picture, tho the Panther was the best German tank used in WW II. The Tiger was too heavy and used too much fuel.
Panther and Tiger are perfect names for tanks. See the link upthread, on how to build a cardboard cat tank.
It’s now known how Himself plans to pay for all this:
he’s stealing $2.5 million that was appropriated for the Park Service to make much-needed repairs and improvements. For what’s basically a partisan event, which the party should damned well be paying for.
I just read that. All this is, is a Trump rally, and we’re paying for it.