Though it is never as important as making decisions on whom to bomb or whether to sign a budget as presented, part of a president’s duty – and a consequential one – is to, at times, be consoler in chief. Who can ever forget the famous picture of Obama sitting in the classroom at Sandy Hook? Like everything else he did, Obama did the impossible with such grace, even when there was nothing but pain to be found. Meanwhile, though far from his worst attribute, Donald Trump struggles with the relatively easy stuff. Rep. Thomas Massie (R-KY) is one of the double unfortunates who both lost his wife and had to receive his condolence call – not from a wisened Joe Biden, or even Barack Obama, but from Donald J. Trump – legendarily awkward and consoler de minimis.
To be sure, it is not like Massie is one of Trump’s favorites. He has gotten on Trump’s nerves, but Rawstory recounts that Massie has – at times – been on Trump’s good side. Either way, Trump found himself on the phone with the Republican following his wife’s death, per Rawstory:
“That’s a hard one, that’s a very hard one,” Trump told Massie over the phone regarding the passing of his wife, Massie said, putting on his best Trump impression.
He did get off to a good start, but it quickly rolled into the gutter from there:
“You know, Arnold Palmer, he played around a lot, but he did love his wife, and when she passed away, it almost killed Arnie. It was tough on Arnie, but he’s a tough cookie. You’re a tough cookie too. You’re like Arnie, you’ll get through this – I take it back, you’re much tougher than Arnie ever was.”
Donald Trump’s most heartfelt reference at the time involved a legendary golfer who cheated on his wife but was leveled by her passing? That’s it? And then it gets down to who is “tough,” not who can carry on her memory, not about their children, nothing – “tough.” I haven’t lost many people close to me, but I know it involves a whole lot more important stuff than toughness. Care, memories, introspection, perhaps?
Either way, it is yet another one of those life skills that Trump just doesn’t have in his bag, to use an appropriate golf reference. Perhaps if we suffer another terrorist attack, part of the message should be about America’s toughness as a nation, but it better be a lot more than that.
Sadly, Massie can tell you, it simply won’t be. Trump can’t hit that shot.
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About as subtle as the sergeant with the guys on parade: Anyone whose grandmother didn’t last night, step back one pace. Not you, Smith.”
Or the “South Park” episode with the Romanian quintuplets (the appropriately titled, “Quintuplets”).
In it, the aforementioned quintuplets are acrobats/gymnasts with the “Cirque de Cheville” (an obvious “Cirque du Soleil” parody) who, along with their grandmother, escape the circus and manage to take refuge in the Marsh household. The grandmother ends up having sex with Stan’s grandfather (the one who always calls Stan, “Billy”) and the next morning, Randy goes up to get the grandmother when he discovers she’s dead. So, Sharon wonders how they’re going to break the bad news and Randy goes out and finds the girls with Stan, Kenny, Kyle and Cartman. Randy says, “Um, we have some bad news. . . . .Everyone who has a grandma, step forward. (All the kids start moving forward.) Uh, not so fast girls.” (Sharon looks at him in utter shock and disbelief with a touch of anger–but the scene is so hilarious with Randy’s delivery.)
Randy is the poster child for the Maga crowd.