Steve Bannon Is Going To Show Trump How Lucky He Was

There isn’t a prison that’s been built that can shut me up! There hasn’t been a cell built that can shut me up!   Steve Bannon

Uhm yeah, riiiiight. Tell ya what Two Shirts, I’ll give you a call on July 2nd, and see how that’s working out for you. If I get a busy signal, I’ll just tune to your podcast. Sh*theels.

When I saw that yesterday, after I finished rolling on the floor laughing, flipping double barrel birds, and mooning the television set, which is a bachelor party when your life is asw action packed as mine is, I started thinking. And the first thing I thought of was, Oh, boy! Here we go again, but with a different ending this time. You know, same sh*t, different bouquet.

When it comes right down to it, mentally and emotionally Trump and Bannon are like Siamese twins joined at the ego. They’re both loud, crude, sexist and misogynist autocrat wanna-be’s. And they’ve spent large periods of their lives letting loud bullsh*t define their personas.

The only real difference is stylistic. Bannon doesn’t bother trying to foll anybody with the 3rd rate gangster wardrobe Trump uses to try to con people into thinking he’s tough and successful. Bannon is at peace with his inner scumbag. Trump wants to be Johnny Dangerously, while Bannon is satisfied to be Oswald Cobblepott, aka The Penguin.

But like his prior boss, because actual accountability has come knocking on his door yet, he thinks that Trump’s magic has rubbed off on him. Fat chance senor Slobbo. He’s ignoring the fact that Trump has two things Bannon never will. Secret Service protection, and a fancy former title. But Bannon will learn before oing.

A reader of mine advised me in the comments that it was their understanding that the Bannon trial is scheduled to begin in September under Judge Merchan. This raises in interesting dilemma. Bannon is required to report to the federal pokey on July 1st, and at four months would not be released until November 1st.

There are two basic options here. First, Judge Merchan can delay the start of the trial until sometime in November, when Bannon is released from Club Fed. The second option, and I like this one better, is that DA Alvin Bragg petitions the federal Prison Department to move Bannon to the Manhattan lockup so that he can participate in his defense. Better yet, just ask for him and accommodate him at Rikers during the trial, then turn him back over the the feds.

But for the purposes of this article, let’s take the benign route, that is that Judge Merchan reschedules Bannon’s pre-trial motions date for November 15th. You can bet your ass that the 1st thing that Judge Merchan will do is to slap a gag order on Bannon. Not so much in fear of physical threats against staff, witnesses or jurors, but more to stop Bannon’s verbal diarrhea from poisoning the jury pool.

If Hell itself hasn’t created a cell that could shut Bannon up, you think a judicial gag order from some puny state district judge is going to do the trick? My guess is that Bannon will tromp all over that gag order before he clears the top step in front of the courthouse.

Which means that in 5-7 days, Bannon and his lawyer, Robert Costello will be right back in ront of Judge Merchan for the Come-to-Jesus lecture. Merchan will tell Bannon that he didn’t write that order so that Bannon could wipe his ass with it in public. He’s fining him $1000 for the offense, and that this will be the last time that a fine will be issued. And of Costello loses his sh*t again, Merchan can fine him $100 for direct contempt of court, and issue the same warning.

Bannon doesn’t care. In his sad, sick, twisted mind he’s the original Rebel without a clue. He’ll spout off again, and this time Merchan will drop the hammer on top of his head. BANG! goes the gavel. And with that bang, Bannon’s bond is revoked, and he will be taken back for processing and transport to Riker’s Island, where he’ll sit during trial. Merchan must be -practically begging that Bannon let his freak flag fly, so Merchan can reestablish the authority of the court in public, once and for all.

The funny thing is, this plays out the same way even if Bannon is in either fed olockup or Rikers during his trial. Let’s say he gives a phone interview from the defense room or lockup and acts out. Each act constitutes a separate act of direct contempt of court. When the trial is over, whether Bannon is convicted or not, Merchan can give him 30 days maximum for each count, and why wouldn’t he? Those are stand alone sentences, under Judge Merchan’s total control, with no parole or early release.

That’s one of the things that fascinates me about Trump’s upcoming sentencing hearing. By last count, I believe that Traitor Tot is carrying a hod with a cool dozen direct contempt citations. Direct contempt is a judicial sentence, not a jury decision. If the judge decides to make a point, and gives Trump 15 days for each violation, that’s 150 days in Rikers. And if my understanding of New York law is correct, that sentence can begin immediately, since direct contempt violations are not sentences, but judicial punishment for in court conduct, they are not reviewable by an appellate court. That is the one way that I know of where His Lowness could be giving his nomination acceptance speech via closed circuit television from a video room on Rikers Island.

But I’m betting that no matter how the timing shakes out, by the time the Bannon trial winds up, El Pendejo Presidente is going to be sitting there thinking to himself, There but for the grace of God go I. because if he didn’t have that fancy title of former President, and the security issues that entails, he never would have fotten past his 3rd contempt of court charge without spending the rest of the trial behind bars. It’s just that simple.

I thank you for the privilege of your time.

Support the site with a subscription today and see no more ads!

Go Ad-free Now!