One doesn’t even have to follow sports to know that unlike football, baseball, even basketball, the sport of hockey has it’s unquestioned greatest player of all time, no one will even quibble about it, the records are safe, and his play was so good, so ahead of its time that it’s just stupid. It doesn’t hurt that Wayne Gretzky is universally loved on both sides of the border. He is humble, thankful, has had one great wife over all these decades, funny, gives back, great kids (Daughter Paulina is a super model as all know) and on and on. He is one of Canada’s greatest natural resources and he gives back to this day as an official consultant to Hockey Canada. He is a patriot. And unlike Donald Trump, he knows that Canada will never, ever, agree to join the United States and probably thinks it is really weird that Trump cannot get off the subject as if he actually does think he can talk Canada into it.
Yesterday, President Donald Trump went back to the 51st state talk again (And why just one state? Why not ten? Canadian provinces are exactly like American states. We all know the answer… ) and the Governor Trudeau stuff that is now impacting Canadian tourism in the U.S., a self-inflicted wound in exchange for absolutely nothing. Weirdly, however, Trump referenced Gretzky, they must have met recently. He implies that the Great One will have a lot to do with the ultimate decision as reported by Mediaite.
Wayne Gretzky is a fantastic guy! They call him, “The Great One,” and he is. He could run for any political office in Canada, and win. Wayne is my friend, and he wants to make me happy, and is therefore somewhat “low key” about Canada remaining a separate Country, rather than becoming a cherished and beautiful 51st State, paying much Lower Taxes, a Free and Powerful Military, NO TARIFFS, and having a Booming Economy.
Wayne and Janet, his wonderful wife, love Canada, and they should only support Canada, and whatever else makes the Canadian People, and Governor Justin Trudeau, happy.
He’s the Greatest Canadian of them all, and I am therefore making him a “free agent,” because I don’t want anyone in Canada to say anything bad about him.
He supports Canada the way it is, as he should, even though it’s not nearly as good as it could be as part of the Greatest and Most Powerful Country in the World, the Good Ole’ U.S.A.!
Trump has to put out a disclaimer on his friendship with Wayne Gretzky since that is obviously causing him some issues in the home country. pic.twitter.com/DBNseq1O1d
— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) February 26, 2025
Undoubtedly, Gretzky will ask how it was that he wasn’t a free agent all along. Trump is likely referring to forgoing judging Gretzky on his position against Canadian statehood (Which, is what 95% of Canadians think, so not crazy at all). There is one weird aspect about the United States and patriotism. Americans are obsessed with proclaiming to be the greatest nation in the world, or ever, in a way that no other nation even concerns itself with. Perhaps the U.S. is the greatest – it is all in what one measures. But other countries concern themselves primarily with, “We are great, we love our country” and proud to leave it at that, not caring in the slightest as to “who is greater.” Just a weird element of the continued proclamation that Canada should want to join the “Greatest, Most Powerful… ”
Back to Gretzky. In a way, his actions are similar to a nation on the world stage. He has immense power in every element of Canada and over hockey and sports generally in the U.S. But all that power has been earned through being the good guy, level-headed, impressive, and compassionate. Nations accrue power in the same way. Yes, nations also have power when sending an aircraft carrier 30 miles off your coast or a submarine that can toss a missile to the other side of the globe to enter a bedroom window. We have those. But there is also tremendous power in having other nations wanting to partner, other nations knowing that they now owe a favor (Perhaps because of USAID) and perhaps they always want to be on America’s good side anyway – that’s soft power and it matters. Gretzky has a sh*tload. He doesn’t need to fire shots or big time anyone. He knows who he is. Perhaps Trump ought to take note.
If Trump wants to assert or grow any element of power with respect to our relationship with Canada, there is a way to go about it and it’s far more the Gretzky way than the 51st state approach. Be the good neighbor, be the people with good ideas, wanting the best for both sides, see what happens regarding shared agreements, more cooperation, perhaps even joint projects. Statehood won’t happen. And don’t fret. Canada isn’t adding 50 new provinces, either. Statehood won’t happen short of Canadians all changing their minds, or a U.S. invasion. Neither of which is a great development and it’s time to move on from this. Perhaps Trump could ask Gretz as to what he might do next? One would think it would be along the lines of, “Just try being nice for a while, it’s worked for me… ” Because it has.
The Great One:
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If Canada became the 51st state (or states 51-60 keeping the provinces individual), Republicans would never win another national election or either chamber of congress again.
Hey, Donnie, how about we make DC and Puerto Rico states first?
Would also not be a net positive for the GOP.
Very nice piece Jason, but I feel compelled to add to it.
First, whether Gretz is the greatest ever is actually an arguable discussion. I have watched a bajillion games since my first one in 1968 or 9 (LA Kings at Montreal Forum, Denis Dejordy in nets.) and I must insist to you Jason, since it is clear that you know your hockey, that the tag “Greatest” is still and forever will be, a fun and wonderful argumentative toss-up between Gretz, Howe, Richard, my personal fav Bobby Orr, and of course, Crosby. And, hold on to your hat, Larry Robinson, who has the highest plus-minus of any player ever, 150 ahead of Orr and 200 ahead of Gretzky. That’s not nothing.
And as to us joining the States, were I Prime Minister, I would make Trump an offer: We accept your proposal, but with a few teensy weensy conditions:
1) North Dakota has 2 senators for 800,000 people. We accept your math: At 40 million people, Canada will have 100 senators.
2) And while we’re at it, since the method of computing apportionment is ludicrously complex ( https://www.census.gov/topics/public-sector/congressional-apportionment/about/computing.html) Canada should just have 200 congresspeople. Simple number. Easy.
3) 2nd Amendment? GONE! It is ludicrous and Canada doesn’t have a militia, regulated or not. And of course, as a corollary, the NRA MUST be disbanded and made illegal. I have a good friend who’s a hunter (yes, we fight about it). He thinks Americans are beyond crazy: “I don’t need an AK-47 to try for a venison dinner. One shotgun and one bullet at a time. I miss, he gets away and I freeze my ass another 6 hours till I see the next one. THAT’s fair!” 4) ERA. It must be passed before we even THINK of joining a country so stuck in the distant past that it can’t even regard women as men’s equals.
5) Supreme Court: You don’t have one and we believe in the rule of law. Ergo, we will disband your group of 6 Republican operatives (the guy who flies his flag upside down, the guy who needs to go back 400 years to find jurisprudence that backs his ludicrous opinions, the alcoholic rapist, and of course, the guy so “on-the-take” that you can buy him for anything. And of course, there are no laws governing these jokers’ actions?? Are you kidding me? THIS is a court??? We Canucks don’t even know the names of our Supreme Court justices because not one of them is a politician. I knew one well because his brother was a member of my synagogue (and my mother dated him in high school 80 years go). I met him downtown years ago when he was running into the same coffee shop I was and I offered to buy his coffee. He would not let me, as a potential question of judicial ethics were I or a friend to ever bring a case before the Supreme Court. I said “are you kidding? A $4 coffee?!” “Bryan, we take judicial ethics so very seriously.” Can ANY of your people say anything remotely like that?! Imagine Clarence Thomas with one ethical cell in his body??? Yeah, I needed the laugh too. So Canada’s Supreme Court will hold and the guys at yours will actually have to go look for real jobs where no one will need to buy them off.
6) Name of new country: The United States of Canada. Amerigo Vespucci had his day. Now its our turn.
7) Draw a line from the bottom of South Padre Island to Key West. Everything north of that shall be called the Gulf of Canada. Everything south of it, the Gulf of Mexico. And the water between Havana and Cancun, shall henceforth be termed, just cuz we love screwing with Trump’s head, the Strait of Cuba. And finally, the part of the Inland Waterway between Mar A Lago and West Palm Beach, between Bingham and Palmsicle Islands, shall henceforth be named the “Gulf of Higgledy Piggledy”. Why? Just cuz. It’s utterly random, like everything else that comes flying out of what passes for Trump’s head (and I really loved Mary Poppins as a kid!)
8) Health Care. Both countries consider it a State-Provincial matter so that won’t change. North and South of the Common Sense line (aka the 49th parallel) we keep our functional health care, and you guys get to keep your system of fantastic health care for the wealthy and a quick death for the poor.
If you guys accept all these conditions without negotiation or change, then we will be happy to consider allowing you guys into our country.
What do you Americans think?
Fair terms?