It is a parent’s and grandparent’s (Don’t want to leave them out) worst nightmare, and we all know it, whether our kids are in kindergarten or in college. A school shooting. I have a 15-year-old daughter, and I’m all she has. Much more importantly, she is all I have.
Schools have excellent “Active Shooter Drills” now. I cannot possibly imagine the fear that goes through a kindergarten kid (probably called “intruder drills”) on the first day when they practice. I distinctly remember the fear I had in Kindergarten when they announced they would have two fire drills that day, and the teachers would show us what to do. I thought the second one was a real fire. It’s stunning that by second grade, it’s old hat. Seen it, done it.
Schools don’t have fire drills anymore. In the next year, if the averages hold out, there will be three to four more school shootings. There won’t be a single fire in a school.
My daughter described the drills. The student closest to the door pulls the shade and locks the door (these are high school kids). Meanwhile, the teacher ushers panicked kids into closets or anything. If it’s a real shooter, not a prearranged drill, kids are supposed to shove every desk they can in front of the door, then hide behind desks and around corners. Someone will go under the teacher’s desk. If kids are shot, and if my daughter was near bodies, she knew enough to say, “I play dead, rubbing as much blood as around.” It makes you want to cry.
She said, “If it gets right down to it, we’re supposed to fight.”
True.
My daughter is 5’1 and weighs 104 lbs. She isn’t fighting anyone effectively, nor is she tackling anyone from behind. I told her that if she’s ever behind the shooter and cannot get anywhere, but he has his back to her, charge. Don’t grab at arms; it’ll do no good. Leave arms down so as to give no warning. Go mouth first and bite a wrist, thumb, or lower arm as if she’s trying to bite it off. In fact, DO bite it off if she can. Bite so hard and chew, and don’t let go. He will either drop the gun or start to spin when maybe bigger kids can tackle from behind.
Is this the best advice? I think so; when it is down to “fighting” – which is what they tell students to do (Usually the teacher first, I suspect) and he’s distracted, that’s the only thing my tiny daughter can do in a fight if she’s behind or to the side. Mouth first, no warning.
It is soooo hard to have these conversations with kids, but you never, ever have any guarantee that it won’t be your school. Do you think any parent at Parkland worried much? Uvalde? No one ever thinks it will be them. I doubt it’ll be my daughter.
We talked about other things. If she’s in PE, get out the door, or if inside, run out the door as hard as she can until she’s behind cars or something. If she’s in the bathroom, stand crouched on a toilet. Do NOT go in the hall. If the gunshots seem on the other side of the school, assume that the police will get there fast and lockdown the room as taught. If near a door, run.
I wanted to go over more scenarios, especially if she was ever “near” enough a shooter that this tiny girl had to fight. Bite hand, finger, off, hope he drops the gun or spins. Kick gun toward students. If he spins, bite harder, and hold on, until kids can tackle.
A parent has to have these conversations. It’s the ultimate nightmare. Losing a child. Oh, and yes, we have other conversations. I’ll never be angry, never, if she calls me to come to get her if someone drinking will be driving or someone’s getting violent after drinking. Seatbelts. crossing streets… all of it, yes, that, too. Safety in every way.
I’m not sure why I wrote this article. Maybe to see if my advice is wrong. Maybe to just show the terror parents (and grandparents) have these days.
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[email protected], @JasonMiciak, with daughter, “C”
Heartbreaking. I’m sure people without children will get on their high horse, but I’ve told all my daughters the same…fight. Back in the day when kids weren’t being shot like farm animals at the slaughterhouse, and abductions were a real threat, I told them fight & scream, like your life depended on it. Crime statistics showed if the abductor successfully grabbed them, they’d be dead within a few hours. Better to make a stand. It sickens me the people who have gotten rich and powerful off the dead bodies of mutilated children still sit in power. They don’t give a rat’s ass about these murders no matter how many times they wring their collective hands. I don’t believe in violence because it’s been a part of my life since birth. However, in all honesty, when the real killers are the lawmakers, then where do you turn for justice? I learned as a child, where no one came to help, or when I was in jail with real killers, sometimes you have to become a warrior or you will die. Then the real killers in their suits will hold a prayer breakfast and go tsk tsk tsk. Oh, and pretend they have nothing to do with it. As Bruce Cockburn sang in If I Had A Rocket Launcher, talking about the bombing and napalm raids in Nam, asking how many children have they murdered? Only God really knows. He admits if he had a rocket launcher some sonofabitch would die. I understand his sentiment when the lawmakers are the killers. They will continue until and IF the American public rises up to stop them.
I.am childless by choice. Jason is right.
I was a school.librarian in the mid to.late 70s. In my first year, I had a student refuse to.leave the library when I told him.to. We had a social studies fair, and students weren’t allowed in until.the judges made their decision, so no one’s projects were broken.
One 8th grader who.had accompanied another kid bringing his project in refused to.leave. He mouthed off. He was 6 inches taller and outweighed me by 40pounds. He was also between me and the door. He reached into his pocket and I knew I was going to.be hurt if he had a,weapon (he pulled out a pocket knife).
I remain he hand it to.me. I think he was shocked anyone would stand up.to.him.It wasn’t the first time he had done this sort of thing (he was one of two psychopaths in training I encountered in my 2 years at the school).
He handed me the knife. I told him this was going immediately to.the principal. He said I would be in more trouble than him. I was not. He was expelled and sent to.the school.for dangerous students.
What is all this doing to the mental health of our children, our future?
And at the same time, the same people are banning ‘harmful’ books, and pictures of Michelangelo’s statues and Botticello’s nudes.
What morons. Books are harmful and guns aren’t?
Perhaps we are looking at this the wrong way. Why don’t the gqp pass laws that provide every child an AR-15, body armor, a bullet proof backpack, and we train them to be the militia they all seem to feel we need. Start them young. Give them a fighting chance. Sarcasm. Fuck their thoughts and prayers. I believe in the power of prayer. But not this kind of prayer. If they actually cared, they would stop the madness. NOW!
There are lawmakers who will vote for gun regulation, and there are lawmakes who won’t. Party lines are not a 100% sure predictor of whi is in wach group, but they are close enough to use for a rough estimate.
Since 2022, the city of Nashville is not all in one Congressional District. It is split between Districts 5, 6, and 7.
District 5: Andy Ogles (R)
District 6: John Rose (R)
District 7: Mark Green (R)
Nashville itself is blue, and when it was in one district, that district was blue. You cannot fairly blame blue voters for the actions of Republican Congressmen/women. But you can blame Republican voters.,
Where I am going wih this is ugly, and I dn’t advocate it. But are we headed in a direction where we have no other choice?
For whom did the parents of the slain children vote? We can’t ask the slain teachers how they voted, but they were all in their sixties and might have adult children who would know the answer to that. Do we need to withhold sympathy from those who, and those whose voting age household members, voted Republican?
Let me repeat.I do not advocate this. But if we want to address causes we need to go the the actual causes. It’s not lawmakers – though some lawmakers perpetuate it. Those lawmakers who perpetuate it are lawmakers because they were electe by a majority, or at the very least a plurality, of voters in their districts. In order to change the lawmakers, the minds of the voters need to be changedfirst.
My daughter arranged her work hours so that she can homeschool her two boys, and I’m sure that a large part of her motivation is to keep them safe at home rather than exposing them to possible death. This is such an awful commentary on our society, that children—mere children—have to be trained in how to survive being killed at school. Unfathomable!
(And they wonder why teachers are leaving their profession in droves, getting paid a pittance and hoping they don’t get shot and killed.)
So sad!
I am going to share this one.. thank you.