The subject line may not be a bold prediction, but I feel fairly safe in making it this far out. And there’s two reasons I feel as safe as houses in making the prediction.

The first is El Pendejo Presidente himself. While recent reporting seems to indicate that he’s managed to absorb enough of his predicament by osmosis that he’s taken to asking his lawyers and aides if they’d actually make him wear an orange jumpsuit in prison. But it seems that it’s too little too late.

Because Traitor Tot still seems to be approaching these upcoming trials as nothing more than a chain-mail Ponzi scam to generate more revenue from his moronic sheeple.In every arraignment hearing Trump has reported to, the presiding magistrates have all basically laid out the same strict rules. Yes, you still have Freedom of Speech. But as an indicted criminal defendant, what you can’t do, other than proclaiming your innocence is to make disparaging statements against the court proceedings, the witnesses, the prosecutors, the judge, or potential witness. That could land you in the hoosegow.

They may just well told FrankenTrump to stop breathing. Not only isn’t he obeying the conditions of his release, and not only is he slamming and slandering the judges, prosecutors, his upcoming trials, and potential jurors, he’s actively fomenting violence from his followers.

It’s kind of hard to get a handle on the judges responses yet, simply because he’s not appearing at hearings. He’s home and dry in Florida, so long as he remembers to keep pitching Scooby Snacks to Kindergarten Judge Aileen Cannon. The Fulton County weekly hearings only effect Sidney Powell and Kenneth Chesebro for their rapid trial, so his lawyers aren’t there unless the judge hauls him in special. The same thing goes for his Manhattan judge, there haven’t been any hearings since his preliminary hearing. The only one taking the bull by the horns is DC federal Judge Tanya Chutkan, who has taken a hard line with him, and is likely to dress him down again.

But all that aside, even at this early point, likely more than six months before Trump’s first jury selection, it seems almost certain that The Tubby Behemoth is going to get to model that orange jumpsuit. How do I know? Elementary, my dear Watson. His Lawyers.

I’ve pointed out the shortcomings of the educational legal skills of The Bubba Walton Law School and Bait Shop, Class of 12. But the longer these appearances go on, and the more we see of these mental midgets, the more we start to realize that not only are they pathetically unqualified for trials of this magnitude, like their boss, they suffer from almost criminal stupidity and arrogance. Just a few examples;

  • In the hearing-o-rama following the 2020 election, not only did Trump go 0-fer, but a bunch of his lawyers were sanctioned by the state and federal judges. Most common reasons were misquoting or misrepresenting the law, and frivolous motions and arguments. Most were fined and reprimanded in writing, but several pissed their judges off to the point where they actually filed complaints before the lawyers state bars requesting further investigation and sanctions
  • Trump lawyer John Eastman actually had his cell phone seized and mined by the DOJ after a California federal judge ruled that Trump and Eastman had almost certainly violated at least two federal statutes, causing the judge to invoke the crime-fraud exemption on the attorney-client privilege
  • In the Mar-A-Lago documents case, it was Trump attorney Evan Corcoran’s turn in the barrel, when a federal judge ruled that Trump had violated the crime-fraud exception, forcing Corcoran to hand over notes and his cellphone, and appear in front of a federal grand jury
  • Trump Florida attorney Christina Bobb signed and filed a false statement to the DOJ affirming that there were no more documents in Mar-A-Lago. That was bullsh*t. Bobb withdrew from the case, cut a deal with the state bar to save her license, and now has her own criminal defense attorney
  • In the Mar-A-Lago documents case, Trump employee #4, his IT director falsely testified to the grand jury that he couldn’t recall conversations. Notified by the DOJ that he was now a target in the investigation, and that his lawyer may have a conflict of interest since he also represented other defendants in the investigation, he switched to a federal public defender, and rolled over on Trump and the other two defendants
  • At least five previous Trump related lawyers, Rudy Giuliani, Sidney Powell, Kenneth Chesebro, John Eastman, and Jenna Ellis are current co-defendants with him in the Fulton County election fraud case
  • Trump lead New York civil lawyer, Joe Tacopeanuts repeatedly clashed with the judge at the E Jean Carroll civil trial for overly aggressive and improper questioning of witnesses. He botched the case so badly that Trump moved him to the pointy hat seat at the far end of the defense table for future hearings
  • Trump’s lead DC criminal defense attorney, John Lauro was so arrogant, loud, and aggressive in Trump’s preliminary hearing that three times Judge Tanya Chutkan had to admonish him from the bench to turn the temperature down

I’m sure there are more, but this makes the point nicely. What we have with these Trump upcoming criminal trials is literally a perfect storm of criminal legal stupidity. On the one hand you have Donald Trump, who still believes that this whole thing is nothing more than an online marketing scam he can make money off of, while somehow managing to talk, threaten, scam, or buy his way out of.

And on the other hand, there’s the Trump lawyers, vastly unqualified for the job in front of them. But they know one thing. They’re not getting paid their pre-paid high retainer salaries for giving Traitor Tot professional legal advice. They’re being paid to be Trump’s attack dogs in court, allowing him to continue to fund raise from the loyal idjits. And as long as they stay in good graces, and keep collecting that lovely long green, they don’t give a sh*t in an arrogant *sshole like Trump gets convicted or not. Trump finally has what he’s always wanted. A marriage made in heaven.

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