Air Force One is one of those weird cool things, typical of other stuff so cool that one is scared to bring up such topics except barely under one’s breath. Indeed, even having access to Air Force One is so cool as to not be f’d with by anyone, even reporters on their 100th trip aboard the robin’s egg blue bird, they dare not act jaded and best acknowledge with a meek smile, “It’s cool” lest something justified befall them. So if you are the president, even being the president is not so cool that you aren’t obligated to an unsaid understanding that Air Force One is so cool as to not be mocked. The president should either act like he’s not even on a plane or just continually look at people and ask, “Isn’t this nice?” while pointing around the plane? And, as if this even needs to be said, no one has the right to ride Air Force One, no human, it’s just too cool, and even if you are entitled to ride in Air Force One – even if you are the president and you’ve earned it, it’s probably best not to tempt God and act as though you’re unworthy anyway.
Now, with all that set out, it’s safer now to write with everyone on the same page and in agreement that a president with access to one Air Force One doesn’t get to complain about the lack of access to a second Air Force One – unless he has no chance of ever riding the new one. The only people with a right to complain about the lack of delivery of Air Force One are those billions on earth who won’t be riding the new one. Everyone who may have a share in riding the newest bird needs to hush and let someone else take up that fight. I am not laying down the law but try doing it any other way and someone is going to look stupid. The rule is that Air Force One is so cool that all complaints must be handled as a bit circumspect. Per Business Insider, Trump toured a new 747 in West Palm Beach to highlight the delay, and you can decide if he did it with enough respect (No.):
The tour took place on a Boeing 747 parked at West Palm Beach International Airport. Photos show Trump’s motorcade parked next to the jet. Speeding up the delivery of the presidential jet appears to be a key target for Trump.
Since returning to office, Trump has continued to signal his passion for the new Air Force One. At his inaugural ball, Trump cut a cake adorned with a model of the jet in his original livery design. Last month, Boeing CEO Kelly Ortberg said the planemaker was working with Elon Musk and the Department of Government Efficiency to accelerate the program.
Wait, wait, wait. What the fck? Working with Elon? To the extent that Musk has any role in government, we were to understand that it was as head of this quasi-agency that then goes around and cuts programs. Now he’s making it sound as though Musk is the hammer or the human side of the U.S. government, if you don’t make Trump happy you have to deal with Musk. That is literally what this sounds like and that’s getting more than a bit scary, not the least bit because there is no reason that Elon should be willing to be such a toad if that were to be the case, and yet… He appears to be. So what is going on? I am not sure we want to know right now, not in this context. We were having some fun with Air Force One, and are now scared straight again.
“The president wants the airplane sooner, and so we’re working with Elon and the team to figure what can we do to pull up the schedule of that aircraft,” Ortberg said. Boeing has reported losses of more than $2 billion on the program.
The only conceivable way that Boeing has “reported” losses of $2 billion is if they are reimbursed for those “losses” (At which point they are no longer losses!!) and thus there is motivation to report them. So I am not buying what’s being sold here, which is that Boeing actually stands to lose $2 billion over this project. Oh, and Trump isn’t helping the delay thing:
The Air Force has said Trump’s red, white, and blue design would cause further delays because a thermal study found the dark blue could result in added heat in some environments.
If you are stupid enough to fck with the Air Force One traditional livery, you get what you get – no complaining (“It never crashed when it was colored robin’s blue… ” ) and especially no complaining about delays when your stupid color scheme is causing further delay!
One begins to think that it is the very fact that Donald Trump dared to mess with perfection that is the underlying problem to begin with. Should anyone feel qualified to mess with the color scheme on Air Force One? No.
So perhaps there is some karma at work here, and then it is compounded by the fact that he’s now begging for this new plane when he is one of the very few on earth not allowed to beg for the plane or be mad about not having it. Now, he can outsource that part to Elon except… Wait, we have a ruling coming down… Nope. Elon cannot complain about it, either. The official ruling is that Elon is acting far too much like the president as is and if he had access to the new Air Force One, he might actually think he was entitled to have it, too – so no, Trump and Musk are two people who are not allowed to complain and at least Trump does appear to be complaining, given he went through the 747 parked at West Palm Beach International today.
Be careful about tempting fate. Being president, kind of like being a rockstar, is filled with stuff that is just so cool that you really really really better be careful in how you handle it. At no point are “you” singularly, that cool – you’re just the one playing the role, and so it’s best not to get too far out ahead of one’s skis on this. Being so cool as to be “mad” that your “new” Air Force One isn’t ready is a classic case of “You’re getting way out there, bro… ”
Be careful now.
God Bless: I can be reached at [email protected] and on Twitter X at @JasonMiciak and now follow me on Bluesky.
glad Boeing is involved. you know they have unsafe planes👍
Considering all the recent air incidents, I’d think they’d want things to move slower, not more quickly. I mean, if I were in that plane, I wouldn’t want to wonder about what safety things were skipped in order for it to be ready sooner.
I want a shiny new toy and I want it NOW!! If the photo shows the planned paintwork, it is at the other end of the spectrum from the present beauty
And watch Li’ l.Donnie throw a head-banging feet-kicking Screaming tantrum.