If there is one truism in life it is this: Everything is relative. Whether you’re talking old/young, ugly/beautiful, poor/rich, you just think of something and it’s a relative concept. Even with that in mind I can’t imagine how to determine by what metric Donald Trump is fast. But he just said that he was and the man would never lie to us, right?
And by “run fast,” he means “my golf cart is pretty powerful”
By “I win club championships,” he means “they’re MY clubs so people let me cheat”
— Jessica Rosengard (@JRosengard) April 4, 2024
See, that’s it. “I” means “my golf cart and I” and together we “run fast.” That’s logical, I suppose. Here are excerpts from a book about Trump cheating at golf.
That nickname [for Trump] would be “Pele.” The moniker came from loopers at Winged Foot who got so used to Trump kicking his ball from the rough into the fairway.
He’s generous with gimmes Trump might be a conservative. But when it comes to conceding putts, he’s as liberal as it gets.
A putt is generally considered good if it’s “inside the leather”—i.e., within a foot of the cup. What constitutes a gimme is slightly different in Trump’s world, routinely giving others—and himself—10-footers. Reilly even asserts he once saw Trump give himself a chip-in.
He messes with his opponents’ games
Reilly says that Trump will do whatever it takes to win a match. One time, that included interfering with sportscaster Mike Tirico’s ball. Tirico hit what he thought was the shot of his life into a par 5, only to find his ball in a sand trap. After the round, Tirico discovered how it got there.
“Trump’s caddy came up to me and said, ‘You know that shot you hit on the par 5?’ ” Tirico said. “ ‘It was about 10 feet from the hole. Trump threw it in the bunker. I watched him do it.’ ”
Pros say Trump’s handicap is baloney
Trump boasts a 2.8 handicap, a figure that signals the type of stick that could make a run at a club championship. It’s also a figure that’s been called B.S.
Former tour player and current FOX broadcaster Brad Faxon, a supporter and frequent partner of Trump’s, called the president “a legit 10.” LPGA Hall of Famer Annika Sorenstam echoed those sentiments, calling Trump “a 9 or 10,” as did Ernie Els (“an 8 or a 9”).
Also odd: Despite making 165 visits to golf courses during his presidency, he’s posted just one round on the USGA’s GHIN service. There was a second round—Trump allegedly shot a 68 in October 2017—but he soon deleted it.
Trump doesn’t always pay his bills
Reilly writes that Andrew Tesoro, who designed the clubhouse at Trump Westchester, was owed more than $141,000. The book details that when he went to Trump’s lawyers, Tesoro claims they said he could sue, but he would be tied up in court for a decade and might not get paid. Tesoro, then a fledging architect, couldn’t afford to do that. In that end, he received just $25,000.
And remember this story? When Trump and the leaders of the UK, France, Germany, Italy, Canada, and Japan walked on foot [while at the G7 in Sicily], Trump followed in a golf cart, The Times of London reported on Saturday.
“They walked the 700 yards from the traditional G7 group photo, taken at a Greek amphitheatre, to a piazza in the hilltop town, but Mr Trump stayed behind until he could take a seat in the electric vehicle,” The Times reported.
700 yards is less than half a mile, but Trump, the dazzling athlete, couldn’t walk it. But he would have us believe he could have run it, and very fast as well.
He can slice, he can hook, and there’s a great piece of footage of him shanking the ball. He’s probably yugely pissed that that ever got released.
And bear in mind, friends, that this is what Trump spends all his time doing. This is what he’s “good” at, the way that the yous and mes are good at gardening, cooking, whatever our hobbies, avocations or professions are. If you spend time doing something, you get good at it. This is what Trump is good at.
And you well know what he’s bad at, business, and what he’s horrible at, politics.
Trump must have learned this from Little Rocket Man, have the media report how you are racing around on horseback (or on foot) dazzling people with your speed and athleticism and they’ll believe it. They’ll believe anything you say. Pass the kool-aide, please.
I’ll wager he runs about as well as he flies.
The closest he will ever come to running is after swallowing a dose of castor oil
Yeah…he looks like a runner. Lips moving? LIE!
And by “run fast,” he means “my golf cart is pretty powerful”–would pretty much have be pretty damned powerful to cart lard-butt around 18 holes.