The Worst Easter. Ever. And It Only Gets Worse From Here

You know, I like to think of myself as not being a vindictive person. Let bygones be bygones, All water under the bridge, that sort of thing. And I tried my best to raise my girls that way too. I just hope they learned the lesson better than I did.

Because in truth, I’m as vindictive as hell. I don’t mean I hold a grudge forever, and I’m not vicious about it, like Trump, who will spend a decade nursing a grudge, so that he can plant a knee in the cojones of someone who just got stabbed in a mugging. But when someone I really don’t like, and who really needs to pay for their misdeeds laid low? I can’t help it, I get the giggles, and a warm feeling in my chest.

And right now, if that feeling gets any warmer, I may have to open the apartment windows some more. Because today is Easter Sunday, a day of celebration for a Roman Irish Catholic, and Trump is as miserable as original sin.

Why? He’s down there in his Motel 6 golf resort, with chefs who were rejected by cruise ships, and mental midgets with more money than brains who are paying him $180,000 a year just in the hopes of seeing him. And he’s the most miserable man in the world.

Because he’s an indicted criminal defendant. A commentator on MSNBC put it perfectly after Trump’s arraignment, once the still photos were released from the courtroom to go with the live video from the hallway, Did you see Trump’s face? He looked shocked, stunned, and beaten. This was not a man who was somewhere he wanted to be, this was a man who was somewhere he had to be. And nobody tells Trump where to be.

And truer words were never spoken. I’m not a psychologist, but after 7 1/2 years in Trump’s head, I have a pretty good feel for the mans mentality. And if I’ve learned nothing else in that time, I’ve learned that Traitor Tot is impulsive and instinctive. If you want to know what’s pissing Trump off at any even moment, just look at his social media feed, or what he says.

And right now, Trump is obsessed with his current case in the Manhattan criminal court. Think back. Ever since the news started floating around that Trump’s indictment was imminent, he’s been o a bender. He jumped the gun by predicting his arrest date, and demanding that his supporters take to the street in mass protests. And ever since, pretty much his every word, either live or on Memorex has been a nonstop attack against the Manhattan DA, the judge, and their families. This is all Trump is thinking about.

And in the Manhattan case, Trump pretty much has the nightmare judge of his dreams. In most criminal cases the defendant shows up for the arraignment. At the arraignment the judge sets the dates for a future discovery hearing, an evidentiary hearing, and a pre-trial motion hearing before the trial begins. And for most judges, the defendant shows up to plead at the arraignment, and then he’s done until jury selection starts. Everything else is lawyers playing legal Mortal Kombat.

But this judge, from what I’ve read likes his defendant in the courtroom, so they’re fully advised and aware of what’s going on in their case. Which means that His Lowness is going to have to make more trips to Manhattan for procedural hearings he has no interest in. because the judge orders him to. And for as long as this trial goes on, that pipsqueak judge is Trump’s Big Boss Man.

Just for kicks, let’s dump some more organic fertilizer on his pointy head. As much as Trump wants to, there is no way to get away from this. Because as much as FUX News may be trying almost as hard to soft sell Trump’s legal problems on their propaganda channel as their own defamation suit, that doesn’t help Trump. Because this is an active criminal court proceeding, and there are going to be daily developments. Which means that Trump’s K-Mart lawyers are going to be going to him on an almost daily basis with updates and developments, and asking for his input. He gets no rest from this.

And it’s only going to get worse. Trump has lawyers the way a bachelor has cockroaches. Right now El Pendejo Presidente has another legal team working on the New York Attorney General’s civil fraud case, and that’s steaming towards trial this fall. Which means another judge giving Trump orders that he can’t ignore. And more conferences with another team of lawyers to tell him just how deep the kimchi he’s in, on a daily basis.

But Wait! There’s MORE! It is widely expected that Fulton County DA Fani Willis will announce indictments on a possible RICO case against Trump for election fraud in the first two weeks of May. Which means another set of bargain basement lawyers, and another judge that’s going to give Trump orders like a boot camp drill sergeant.

But it wouldn’t be dessert without Jell-o! Right now DOJ Special Counsel Jack Smith is steaming full-speed-ahead with likely criminal charges against Trump for both the Mar-A-Lago documents case as well as engineering the Capitol insurrection. And that means at least one, if not two more sets of ambulance chasers in his ear, and at least one, if not two more federal judges ready to lead him around like a puppy on a choker chain.

You know, ever since the Cheeto Prophet left office, and all of these legal problems have bubbled up, the one thing that everybody has been universal on is accountability for Trump. And for most people, that means prison time. And nobody wants to see that more than I do. Lock him up and throw away the key!

But my friends, this is what practical accountability looks like. Trump is a purported billionaire, but his life is no longer his own. Sure, he can still pootle out on the links of Mar-A-Lago, or Bedminster if he relocates next week, but he’ll be golfing waiting for the next cell phone call giving him the latest legal bad news. And he’ll be constantly twitching waiting for the next phone phone call that tells him he must be in Manhattan, or Washington DC, or Atlanta Georgia for a newly scheduled court appearance.

The way I look at it, regardless of what happens from here on out, Trump is never going to have another good day for the rest of his life. The Thanksgiving turkey will taste like sawdust. The Christmas presents will be lame. New Year’s Eve will be nothing but the welcoming of a new year that will assuredly be worse than the one he just rang out.

Legally speaking, Trump is now a rat in a cage. Mentally speaking, Trump is now a rat in a maze. There is no joy in Mudville, Mighty Casey has struck out. And you know what? I can live with that. For the first time since inauguration day of 2017, I really feel pretty good.