The Financial “Perfect Storm” For The GOP/RNC

I love it when all of my secret wishes come true, especially when I’ve already told y’all about them, knowing what nosy little so-and-so’s you are.

You remember how I’ve written about how Traitor Tot is the perfect sponge? How he just sucks up all of the small money donations, leaving the RNC with the leftover sofa cushion coins? I had told you that I was looking forward to today, because the Trump Leadership PAC had until midnight last night to submit their final quarter income and spending for the 4th quarter of last year. What I had totally forgotten was that the RNC was under exactly the same deadline.

Ah, Serendipity. The GOP’s paperwork shows that the GOP/RNC in the 4th quarter of 2023 had their worst fundraising quarter in more than a decade. There are just a couple of things I want to point out about this, since the implications for the GOP/RNC in 2024 are stunning.

First there’s that pesky word decade, a contiguous 10 year period. The filing covered the 4th quarter of 2023. Which would make their last world class loser fundraising the last quarter of 2013. That’s OK, I’ll do the history research, that’s why I get the Tom Cruise wages.

What was going on in the last quarter of 2013? Second term incumbent Barack Obama was preparing for his 2nd midterms, and they didn’t go well. The recent GOP had been a fundraising monster, regularly shellacking the Democrats at fundraising. And in the midterms they gained 13 seats in the House, giving them a 247-188 edge, and gained nine Senate seats, the most since 1980, giving them control pf the Senate, and allowing Senate Majority Leader Bitch McConnell to obstruct Merrick Garland from an open SCOTUS seat. And that was their worst fundraising quarter for a decade to come.

You know what else December of 2013 was? It was about 17 months before El Pendejo Presidente farted his way down that schlock gilt escalator to announce his run for President. Trump’s stunning upset win literally created the mammoth grassroots fundraising operation that fueled a staggering 40 seat flip of the House in 2018. The GOP/RNC’s day of fundraising dominance were over.

And now the RNC admits to their worst fundraising quarter haul in a decade. Is it just me, or does that single factoid tell you something about the effect that the Cheeto Prophet has on deep pocket GOP donors. And for more than 20 years the GOP grassroots fundraising couldn’t support a state Kiwanis organization. And here’s proof. Right now there are state and county GOP organs that are filing for bankruptcy and delling their website names because they can’t pay their bills. Cuz His Lowness has a nipple lock on the low dollar donation suckers.

This could be devastating for the RNC and GOP in 2024. Because it’s the RNC’s vaunted big money fundraising slush fund that gives them the revenue to support the state and county organizations, and also to help fund races for flagging candidates, not just in the US House and Senate, but also in state legislative races. But now The Mango Messiah is demanding personal fealty to himself, donating directly to him, if they want to deal with the new Trump administration. The way things are going, by Labor Day the RNC may be hanging a Going out of business sale banner over their headquarters doors.

And now on to the good sh*t. The Trump sh*t. According to Trump’s personal Leadership PAC, they spent more than $50 million big boys on Trump’s defense. Think about that for a moment. As far as I’m concerned, there isn’t a human being alive that’s worth $50 million, unless the bastard has discovered the cure for cancer.

Now let’s add a little perspective here. Not only isn’t Trump worth $50 million in legal fees, the cadre of 3rd rate ambulance chasers he has working for him wouldn’t be worth a $50 million legal bill if they worked 24/7 in shifts.

It isn’t just Trump. In addition to his own legal fees, His Lowness is also funding the legal defense for his faithful Navy steward, Walt Nauta. And he’s also reportedly funding the defense for multiple co-defendants in the Fulton County trial, along with other former lawyers of his facing their own legal problems, to keep them shut up.

And guess what kiddies? It only gets worse from here. Because as anybody who has ever dealt with one knows, lawyers have two different pay scales. The first is the preparatory pay scale, the one used by any attorneys, clerks, or assistants working in the office to prepare for court appearances and trials. I can’t imagine any of his lawyers, knowing they have him over a barrel, charging him less than $1000 an hour, billable on 20 minute increments.

But there’s a 2nd pay scale, the trial time pay scale. And again, knowing Traitor Tot is desperate for legal counsel, and they’re the only game in town, I’m guessing about $3000 an hour, billable in 20 minute increments. And since Trump is a deadbeat, he has to keep a retainer with his lawyers. If that runs dry, so does his defense.

Now for the worse. I didn’t just mention that dual pay scale to bore you. For the last year, most of Trump’s legal work, both his own as well as the others he’s buying off to shut them up has been prep work in the office, preparing the defense and preparing for the occasional court appearances.

But now the paradigm has changed, both for Trump and the others he’s covering. Now the cases are all starting to move forward towards trial. And that means that more of these legal bills will be at the court time rate as the lawyers show up for status check hearings, followed by the pre-trial motions hearings. Which means that when February 1st, 2025 rolls around, Trump’s legal fees are going to make last years $50 million look like a shopping spree at The Salvation Army.

And now for the cherry on top. The Trump campaign admitted in their final filing that in the year of 2023, they actually spent more money than they brought in! This is f*cking ridiculous! Even if the big money donors were stiffing him in 2023, his nipple clamp on the low dollar donor faithful was heavy enough to leave hickies! The Trump campaign and Leadership PAC’s send out more mooch e-mail and text plasts than the guys running those Nigerian Prince scams.

Which tells me something. It tells me that Trump is f*cked. Sideways. It tells me that the bloom is finally coming off of the Trump small donor fundraising rose. A vampire can only suck so much blood from a damsel before she kicks off. And in modern times it takes a bare minimum of $100 million to run a national campaign. And Trump isn’t running a national campaign, he’s running a mom-and-pop-bodega campaign. But even if he ropes in the big money donors to support him exclusively, they’re going to run into problems with FEC regulations to funnel him enough to survive.

Which tells me two things. Trump is too worried and distracted by his personal criminal legal liabilities to properly fund a successful campaign for President. And the second is that Traitor Tot’s King Midas bullsh*t over fundraising is turning the RNC into one of those damsels that get sucked dry. And if Biden rolls in November, not only do the Democrats retake the House, and strengthen their hold on the Senate, but a whole lot of purple states with really sh*tty anti abortion laws are about to glip blue. The RNC won’t have the money to stop it.

I thank you for the privilege of your time.