Not Even Speaker Yet, And Already McCarthy Is In Crisis

If it wasn’t so vengefully satisfying, this would almost be painful to watch. Kreepy Kevin McCarthy is so busy running around sticking fingers in holes of the Speakership dike he doesn’t know whether to shit, go blind, or wind his watch. And he’s running out of time.

If my Kindercare math is correct, there are 11 days to go before the January 3rd Speaker vote. Not only does McCarthy have the vote locked up and in his pocket, there is little indication that he’ll be able to do so in the next 11 days before the vote. And now, at the last minute, he’s faced with not just one, but two crises that are basically self inflicted gunshot wounds.

Crisis 1 – Earlier today, his own compatriot, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell may have just cost McCarthy the Speakership. McConnell worked with the Democrats to pass a $1.7 trillion budget agreement that will fund the government through 1:59pm September 30, 2023. And despite his best efforts to whip the GOP caucus against the measure, it passed today with mild moderate GOP  member support. Which is bad news for McCarthy, who will now go into the vote already knowing there is at least a small but critical GOP bloc that has no respect for him, nor fear of retribution.

The funny thing is that Kreepy Kevin has nobody to blame but himself. In his desperate attempts to keep the Freedom Caucus in line, one of his best bargaining leverage points with them has been the budget. McCarthy had repeatedly promised them that he would hold congress to a series of short term extensions until he got the gavel on January 3rd. Then he’d use that pressure to force the Democrats to make deep cuts in their popular social spending programs, or shut the government down to increase his leverage. The problem with this imbecilic logic is that these things are massively popular with voters, who would never hold the Democrats responsible for defending them.

McConnell already knew all this. Hell, all he had to do was to turn on the television and listen to McCarthy. McConnell still sees a favorable 2024 Senate map back to the majority, and he wasn’t about to let the infantile nonsense of a bunch of House preschoolers tar and feather his candidates. So he cut McCarthy off at the knees. And in doing so, he also took away McCarthy’s only real bargaining chip with the Freedom Caucus.

Crisis 2 – Here’s another case of McCarthy stepping on a short rake that whacks him right in the balls. McCarthy is still trying to back his way out of the incompetent bungling that left him without a GOP friendly member on the J6 committee. He had 2 of them on the committee, but when Speaker Pelosi threw off 2 Trump flamethrowers and told him to replace them with saner members, he took his ball and went home, pulling the two acceptable GOP members from the committee. And Trump has held him personally responsible for the shellacking the committee has given him.

In his negotiations with the MAGAt’s, desperately playing catch-up, McCarthy has promised drooling Trumptards like Gym Jordan and Laborious MTJ that once he’s coronated, he’ll let them run their own J6 hearings, only to Investigate the investigators. To show the size of his balls, he even sent a letter to J6 committee Chair Bennie Thompson, firmly requesting as the GOP Speaker wanna-be for the Democrats to preserve all of their documents and evidence, since the GOP would be coming for them. This is suicidal, but there’s nothing McConnell can do about this one.

The problem is simple, and it has to terrify McConnell and the moderate GOP to death. The Democrats ran one of the most professional, bipartisan, non confrontational committee investigations since Watergate and 9/11. The hearings were Made for TV, snd slickly produced, the staff was chock-a-block full of professional former FBI agents and DOJ lawyers, and the hearings were mercifully free of the klown kar nonsense that Trombies like Gohmert, Jordan and Gaetz bring to the hearing. And just to gild the lily, the committee not only released an 845 page final report, they’re busy releasing all of their transcribed interviews. Talk about full transparency!

McCarthy doesn’t care. His sole goal is to get the votes he needs for the Speaker’s gavel, and if that means stuffing a committee full of mental midgets like MTG, Gruppenfuhrer Gosar, Gaetz, and Jordan, and letting them scream at Democratic colleagues, then so be it. Which means that they’ll rant and rave, driving the FUX News crowd wild, while the witnesses quietly and professionally point out how professionally the job was done, making them look like morons.

I cannot tell you how self destructive this is. This is like me setting fire to my house for the insurance, and when I get caught, defending myself in court, and accusing the arson investigator of being a stupid, biased, incompetent asshole! And McCarthy is making an imbecile of himself. It is McCarthy who has spent the last 2 years trying to minimalize and marginize the J6 committee, to get GOP voters to forget it ever happened, if it did happen, and now he wants to spend the next 2 years highlighting the professionalism of the J6 committee for the whole country. What a moron.

I’m actually starting to hope that McCarthy does get the gavel. After all, the Democrats in the House are resigned to their minority role for the next 2 years, but the entire Democratic party is united, with a fully functional battle plan to make McCarthy’s life a living hell the next 2 years. The Democratic Senate will pass popular stuff with the voters, and send it to the House. Where the monkey island will do one of 2 things. Either McCarthy will bury the bills, pissing off voters, or moderate FOP members will sign on to discharge petitions, passing the legislation over McCarthy’s objection, and making him look weak and feckless. 2024 is coming. Tick-Tock, Kevin.