No Thanks Governor Krispy Kreme, We’ll Pass On The BS This Time

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Like most normal people, I never really liked Chris Christie. He was loud, tough, and brash, just like his state. A successful US Attorney, and seemingly a capable administrator. But he also had a spine, and a moral compass. When he appointed a Muslim American to the New Jersey court, he not only backed his choice, he verbally slapped down the haters who opposed his choice. And in a straightforward interview, he was disarmingly honest and blunt, as well as funny. But then he fell in with The Tiny Thumbs Diktator, and lost his soul.

Shock and wonder! Christie has a new book out. Of course he does. It’s called Republican Rescue: Saving the Party From Trump. Of course it is. Because who better than the man who was one of the first to sell his soul to The Cheeto Prophet to be the one to lead the party out of the wilderness in the post Trump era?

This is the man who was one of the earliest competitors to drop out of the 2016 race and throw his support to Trump. He traveled and appeared with His Lowness, shepherded him through debate prep, and stood behind Trump, stony faced, like a guy waiting for his Metamucil to kick in, as Trump insulted women, and his wife Mary Pat had sparks shooting out of her eyes, and smoke billowing out of her ears. He was close enough to Trump to be named Trump’s transition manager, until number one son in law Crybaby Kushner told Trump unless he wanted Ivanka sleeping alone for the future, he’d ditch the guy who put his father in prison. And Christie stayed close enough to Trump to try repeatedly to call him during the insurrection to give him advice.

Here’s the part that I don’t get. On the one hand, you have Chris Christie, who sold himself heart and soul to Trump. And on the other hand you have principled conservatives like Charlie Sykes, Rick Wilson, and Stuart Stephens, all of whom broke with Trump early, all of whom have worked actively against Trump and Trumpism, and have written compelling books. What in the world makes Christie think that he has a pathway to become the Messiah that leads the GOP from the post Trump wilderness, while surrounded by actual principled Republicans?

But it gets even worse. I have seen Christie twice now in interviews in the last 3 days, and he appears to be almost a beaten man. He is quiet, subdued, and all of the spark and humor is gone. He tries to deflect criticism of his closeness with Trump, and his subservience, and presses forward with his ill suited rehabilitation tour. Not surprisingly, it doesn’t work.

Even worse is the book itself. From what I’ve heard from advance reviews as well as Christies own utterances in interviews, it is nothing short of nonsensical. Basically, in typical bombastic, no-bullshit Christie terms, he calls on the party base to put its big boy pants on, admit that they lost the 2020 election, refute once and for all The Big Lie, admit that the election of Biden was legitimate, and rally around traditional GOP values to rebuild and become more competitive in the future. You know, the same shit that real  conservatives like Steve Schmidt, Rick Wilson, George Conway, Jennifer Horn and Charlie Sykes have been saying for 5 fucking years now! My only question is if Christie has seen Trump’s popularity with the base lately? Why would that base follow a turncoat traitor as the light that will lead them to the end of the tunnel?

There is only one reason I can think of for Christie’s embarrassing exercise in futility. It’s weak, but it’s all I got. Christie is still a fairly young man, and a successful GOP politician. He can still see a future for himself in GOP politics, but only in a GOP without Trump in it. Why he thinks that he is the one who can engineer this resurrection of the Phoenix, I can only ascribe to pure personal arrogance. All I know is that I’ll be hitting the mute button every time I see Christie’s face for a while.

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