Mike Lindell Has Offered Both Mother Tucker, Dan Bongino Jobs

This has all the trappings of a new sitcom. Stay with me, now. Two right-wing propagandists, one of them the top paid anchor and the other the low man on the totem pole, for the biggest tabloid/propaganda outfit on the planet, get unceremoniously and unexpectedly canned. Before the week is up, they’re both offered employment by the propaganda outfit’s main advertiser, a feather merchant (well, okay, styrofoam) maker of pillows, who himself owns a “media outlet.”

Considering the personalities involved, I think we may be on to something right now. In any event, none other than Mike Lindell has offered gainful employment to Dan Bongino and Tucker Carlson.

Mike Lindell says he has contacted Tucker Carlson and Dan Bongino to sign them to Lindell TV: “We would love to have them as part of our team!” pic.twitter.com/1AEsda10GT

— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) April 28, 2023

It’s most unfortunate this clip cut out right at the end because I wanted to hear how many viewers Lindell TV has. That is certainly a useful statistic.

And I know exactly what you’re thinking: How much $$$$$ is Mikey going to cough up to pay these two guys? According to the Google crystal ball, Fox News paid Carlson $35 million plus another $6 million for his podcast channel. That’s a lot of bacon. Bongino got paid $7 million annually, again from the same source.

Now, how much money does Lindell have? Some website called “CA Knowledge” says that Lindell makes $32 million a year from his pillow empire, which means he could pay Carlson every dime he has and still fall $9 million short. Now, I’m no accountant, but at first blush it doesn’t seem like Lindell can afford Carlson — unless Carlson works for a lot less or takes his pay in slippers and sheets. Say, maybe Carlson could do ads for the slippers and sheets but wait, no, Rudy Giuliani is working that side of the street and God knows Rudy needs the cash. He can’t even pay his ex-wife cousin her alimony. Never mind.

Now Forbes Magazine says that Tucker Carlson made between $15 and $20 million and I find that figure a lot more plausible than Dr. Google’s. I can’t find Forbes or anybody equally credible giving an assessment about Lindell.

Frankly, if I was either Dan or Tucker, I would begin to wonder about going to work for Mike Lindell, considering that whatever money he does have, he won’t have soon, after Dominion and Smartmatic get through with him.

But you’ve gotta admit the comedic potential here. Especially when Lindell tells Tucker that he’s going to film all of his segments right there in the foyer next to the staircase — except when the house’s owners are there and then they have to go film in Mike’s apartment, which is a trifle more cramped. Or, at Steve Bannon’s studio, with the pictures of the lion and clinically depressed Jesus on the walls. And Bannon doesn’t bathe that often, it’s well known, so that’s not the greatest place to have to scrunch into for long hours at a time, but any port in a storm, right? The show must go on, right?

I think the only big money to be found here is in writing this as a sitcom and maybe I’ll offer to do it for Lindell, myself. I’ll be Tony Schwartz to his Donald Trump. That could turn into a spinoff.