Keep Digging Guys! You’re Almost To China! Say Hi To Xi

You can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Not even with a rolled up newspaper across the snoot. And the campaign and sane GOP House knows, because they’ve tried. House Squeaker MAGA Mike Johnson told his caucus to Stop parroting that racist sh*t that the top of the ticket was currently showering in. The campaign wants him to pivot to criticizing Harris’s record as DA and AG, and knock Walz on his liberal record in congress as well as Minnesota Governor.

As I’ve said before, the nice thing is, you can always reason with Trump. And you can also reason with a barnyard animal for all the good it will do you. Trump has this Sado-Mas murder-suicide pact with his base. It was his base that got him in in 2016, and those vows are stronger than any marriage vows.

They just don’t get it. As Blade said, Some mothermuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill. The funny thing is that the GOP has seen this movie before. But they’re so drunk on the Trump Kool Ade that somehow or other they keep thinking there was a last minute rewrite on the ending.

In 2008, following a contested general election with the popular vote loser being anointed by the Supreme Court, divided government, the worst terror attack on US soil in history, and two unpopular wars, a brash young Senator from Illinois with the funny name of Obama tried something new. He offered voters Hope and Change.

The GOP’s teeny little brains exploded. They had been running the same old, tired, character assassination politics for so long that they couldn’t recalibrate to an optimistic message, even when it was what the country had been jonesing for for eight years. Obama steamrolled them.

Funny thing about that number eight. In 2024, after eight of the most bitter, divisive, tumultuous years in American political history, voters made it painfully clear that they didn’t want two fossilized crustaceans running again in 2024. President Biden had the patriotic grace to step back, and now Vice President Harris and her newly minted running mate, Tim Walz are preaching a message of Hope and Joy! And again teeny GOP heads are detonating.

Harris and Walz have an almost effortless talent for getting under Trump and Vance’s skin, and it’s clear that they relish it. They look like the original barrel that all of those monkeys came in. I am not going to relitigate the hole sorry Trump-Vance farce here, but a couple of recent cock ups from the last day or two should suffice;

• Traitor Tot is floundering. He was warned to not go after Harris’s racial identity, but he did so anyway, drawing universal condemnation. Last night, in his two hour verbal fartfest on the platform formerly known as Twitter, Il Douche went on a rambling rant on Harris, at one point calling her an attractive woman, and comparing her favorably with Melania. The silly sh*t hasn’t done anything like that since, in a deposition, he mistook witer E Jean Carroll for his then wife Marla maples. Harris hilarity to ensue shortly
• JD Vance is no longer a potential liability, he’s officially a campaign engineered disaster. Vance was repeatedly warned not to criticize Walz’s service. Vance did, and today Walz made him look like a paramecium on a microscope slide. In response to the attacks,
  Walz proudly recapped his service and related that no one who had ever served should criticize another’s service. Diplomatically not stating that his service ran six times longer than Vance’s. He closed by saying, And for anyone who served this country, including my opponent, I only have a few words to say. Thank you for your service and your sacrifice. Back down the drain with you, hillbilly boy

But here’s the McGuffin. The Harris-Walz campaign is like an Evangelical tent revival, spreading faith, hope and joy all around. Meanwhile, Vance is on the road like the Stephen King character Cujo, the rabid St. Bernard, shaking his head and spewing rabid spit all over the place, and El Pendejo ex Presidente can’t be roused out of Mar-A-Slobo with a cattle prod.

It was announced today that a Trump aligned Super PAC is making a $100 million ad buy in something like eight battleground states, running through the Democratic convention and up to Labor Day. What could go wrong? Stupid is as stupid does. 

Here’s the problem. The Harris campaign is going far and wide spreading an aspirational message, and kicking Trump’s fat, pasty ass doing it. And by FEC law, Super PAC’s are prohibited from running ads favorable to any single candidate. They can only run what are called constrast ads, read attack ads. And gee. Isn’t that kind of sh*t what’s driving hordes of voters to the Harris campaign in the first place?

I’ve made this comparison before, but where I’m sitting Trumpasaujrus Rex just slid his second back foot into the Le Brea tar pit. The funny thing is that it wouldn’t really matter if Trump spent oodles of swag on positive advertising for his campaign. He’s such a universally known quantity that any advertising he did would be like the band on the Trumptanic playing for the unfortunate sh*ts that couldn’t get seats on a lifeboat.

This dichotomy reminds me of the scene in MIB II, when Agent J, played by Will Smith has the newly restored Agent K, Tommy Lee Jones holding out his hand for the keys to the gleaming new Cadillac ride. J looks at him and says, Aw no, no man. Look, Young and hot, old and busted. Fits perfectly, doesn’t it?

I thank you for the privilege of your time.