I’m not a big fan of the Academy Awards, or any other awards show for that matter. There’s just something about a bunch of people in a closed industry getting together once a year to congratulate each other for doing their jobs. But even I must admit that the Oscars have a Best Supporting category for a reason. Some people have skills, and good ones, but just aren’t prime time.

Which is the best possible description of Ohio Representative Jim Jordan I can think of. Jordan is a bomb thrower. His strength is sitting in a chair on a committee, and using his five minutes to try to eviscerate every opposing witness that comes before him. But he’s not prime time. Jordan used to be an assistant wrestling coach at OSU. You know what that means? The coach tells you what to do.

But with his seniority and tenure on the House Judiciary committee, Jordan managed to get himself anointed as the Chair of the committee. And as such, he went for broke and also made himself the Chair of his pet project, the Weaponization of the Government subcommittee to prove how the liberal deep state departments regularly treated conservatives like wayward puppies. And it isn’t going well.

So far, Jordan has chaired one meeting of the subcommittee, and that was a debacle. The media hook was Jordan, fuming and stuttering while junior Democratic member Danny Goldman took him over the falls about why there wasn’t even a list of the two dozen purported whistleblowers he planned to call before the committee. Jordan was totally schooled.

For good reason. The Democrats then released a 300 page report showing how the three names they could confirm didn’t even qualify for the title of whistleblowers. None of them still worked for the FBI, DOJ, or DHS when they came forward with their crackpot conspiracy. And none of them provided any relative information or evidence.

According to reporting on Axios, this crawling start out of the gate isn’t going unnoticed. And not just be Democrats. They’re thrilled to point out that Jordan has no set schedule, that no transcripts have been released, and nobody knows the direction of the probe. Republicans are also starting to make threatening comments,

 Critics say Jordan has been hampered by his off-the-cuff style, lack of structure and separation between Judiciary and its “weaponization” subcommittee — and a tendency to make statements first and hope his investigative work will back them up.

Yeah, that’s a bitch, ain’t it? That’s like a doctor making a diagnosis before he runs any tests! Other critics state that by deciding to cobble up and Chair both committees, Jordan now has a five man inner circle that is responsible for monitoring some dozen investigations all at the same time.

Jordan’s response is typical and classic Jordan, bluster and bullshit. Jordan claims that he’s issued more subpoenas than any other committee. Which begs the question, how many have been responded to. But Jordan took a dig at his critics directly;

“And any inclination that we are moving slowly or not getting results is completely asinine and ignorant. There will always be critics in the stands, but when you are getting results, it’s best to tune out the noise.”

Yeah Gym Bag, I feel your pain. Having been on the stage, I know hecklers suck. But ya know what? Nobody held a gun to your fat head and forced you to get up there in the first place.

Worse yet, Jordan, after only one hearing so far, is even losing the support of what should be the tame lap dogs at FUX News. On his show last week, Jesse Waters said;

Make me feel better, guys. Tell me this is going somewhere. Can I throw someone in prison? Can someone go to jail? Can someone get fined?

But being mentally incapable of admitting to any personal, professional, or managerial deficiencies, Jordan is falling back on the old GOP saw for any kind of failure. Throw more money at it!

The Republican firebrand is asking for an additional $2 million a year and access to a “substantial reserve fund” of $15 million to conduct investigations.

Right. For those of you more than 16 years old, I offer one simple word, Benghazi! The GOP House Oversight committee spent four years and more than $7 million dollars in order to conclude that nobody did anything wrong. Just a word to the wise, son.

Here’s the good news. The second hearing for the subcommittee is scheduled for tomorrow, and that should be the original barrel that all of those monkeys came in. Because there’s no indication that Jordan has learned any planning or organizational skills in the last three weeks. I’m looking forward to it.

Just a simple suggestion for subcommittee Chair Jordan. You might want to put your pride and ego in the reefer, and get your Padawan ass to Jedi Master Bennie Thompson for a few lessons. After Thompson was named the Chair of the J6 committee, by the tie they held their first hearing, they were fully staffed with aides and investigators, had plentiful office space, and had held multiple meetings to lay out the Rules of the Road regarding the path of the ongoing investigation. Call me kooky, but that seems to be a bit more efficient than Jordan’s plan, Measure once. Cut twice. 

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  1. Where’s Sam kinison when you need him? OK, he’s a peer born in 1953, but left us way too soon. I could use some of his beautiful screaming at gymbo’s carnival. Something like: FUCK YOU!!! YOU GODDAMN CLOWN!!! KILL ME! KILL ME NOW!!!! It would be worth watching tax dollars going up in smoke.

    • FAR too eartly Scott!!! And like you, I could use some of that OOOOH!!! OOOOH!!! OOOOH!!! right about now…My funniest memory of him was his routine when he reminded the audience he had been brought up by his Evangelical preacher father to be an Evangelical preacher, and went into a classical Evangelical preach…lol The car he died in had the license plates “EX-REV…

  2. I had wondered how “weaponizing the government” to investigate “weaponizing the government” would work exactly.

    …..but that has been the Republican way for decades now…… opening investigations looking to see if you can FIND any criminal activity versus the Dems who open investigations into ACTUAL criminal activity.

  3. “Yeah, that’s a bitch, ain’t it? That’s like a doctor making a diagnosis before he runs any tests!”

    Yeah, but with the doctor who does that, he knows he runs the risk of a hefty malpractice suit which is why doctors usually don’t diagnose before running tests (they might, when asked, offer a series of *possible* diagnoses but they will make crystal clear that it’s just speculation UNTIL the tests are run).


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