JD Vance Is Now Disqualified from The Human Race

Enough is enough. As I’ve previously written, as I grow older I find I suffer fools less gladly. But in all truth, I stopped suffering fothermuckers like JD Vance more than 30 years ago. Because there is no such thing as an actual JD Vance. Just a cowardly empty shell with a craving for power, wealth, and most importantly, respect.

Just a brief bio. Vance had a piss miserable childhood, for which I’m truly sorry. No child should have to suffer through their formative years, especially when the parents are abusive. By his own accounting Vance got kicked around at home, and kicked around at school. Having been loved and nurtured, I can’t even conceive it.

Somehow or other, he managed to catch the eye of ultra right wingnut billionaire Peter Thiel, who always has room in one of his myriad companies for a white affirmative action nitwit who will never question the boss. Thiel shepherded him through college, then gave him the only job Vance has ever had.

Thiel gave Vance a high level job where little actual thinking was involved, and for which Vance showed all the aptitude of a retarded salamander. Thiel tutored him up, and then gave him his own company to run with. And where he ran with it was straight into the ground. He f*cked that company up so thoroughly that even Warren Buffet couldn’t have salvaged it if he tried.

Somewhere in there, Vance did a tour in the Marines, and Thank you for your service. He was deployed to Iraq, but as a Media Liaison Officer, which you can interpret as, Somevody who reads pre-written communiques to the media, and then says “I dunno” to every question they’re asked.

When Thiel realized that he couldn’t keep Vance if he didn’t want to have to file for food stamps, he did the only natural thing. He dumped him on Trump. He marched him down to Mar-A-Slobo, probably dressed up like Jethro in The Beverley Hillbillies, and told Traitor Tot, Look Don, here’s your next Senator from Ohio, see how authentic he looks? Mentor him will y0ou, oh, and here’s an envelope for all your trouble. When the alleged billionaire tanked, a $50 million donation from Bitch McConnell’s Super PAC greased the skids for him.

As you can see, this is not a strong, assertive, take charge,confident man. This is a scared sh*tless child, terrified of failure, with no self confidence, despite all of the advantages he has had. Which disappoints me. Because not always, but often, when someone finds a way out of the muk, rises above the ashes of his early life, and accomplishes a station of success, they often develop something we big kids like to call sympathy and empathy. They remember their own misery in their early years, and feel for those currently in the same situation.

Just see NFL Hall of famer Jim Brown. He came from nothing, and became, at the time, the greatest running back in NFL history. At which point he retired at the height of his career to return to the black community as an activist. And before you give me sh*t in the comments, I’m not ignoring his history of violence towards women, I’m just making a broader point.

Instead Vance chose to go the OJ Simpson route. Also from humble origins, Orenthal James Simpson went on to challenge Jim Brown’s legacy in the NFL. But he gave nothing back to his roots. Civil rights icon Celes King once told prosecutor Vince Bugliosi, OJ Simpson couldn’t find his way back to the ‘hood if he had a roadmap. What’s the first thing that Vance did once he got out and away? He wasn’t even out of college when he wrote Hillbilly Elegy, trashing the very community he grew up in.

And his gutless, cowardly, craven self keeps showing through. Ever since Traitor Tot tapped him on the shoulder to be his idiot wingman, Vance, desperate for power and respect, is trying to impress his benefactor by being Trumpier than Trump. He sees himself as Trump’s heir apparent to the MAGA movement. Ignoring the fact that in 50+ years in business and politics, His Lowness has never appointed or promoted someone to a position of power who could rise to challenge him.

It won’t work. Just ask any of the army of craven power seekers since Trump was inaugurated who tried to portray themselves as Trump before there was Trump, or Trumpier than Trump. Even media wingnut Kari Lake branded herself as Trump in high heels. And it never works. Trump is the original, accept no substitutions. And the base doesn’t.

But he’s trying. And he’s only making things worse. It was Vance that first twigged to the obnoxious, blatantly racist internet meme of Illegal Haitian refugees in Springfield, Ohio eating residents pet cats and dogs. And he ran with it, claiming that his bullsh*t was based on personal reports from his constituents. Nevermind that the Springfield police chief, the GOP Springfield mayor, and the GOP Governor of Ohio all called it bullsh*t, Vance ran with it. To the point where his idiot graven idol Trump blurted it out on national television to some 67 million voters.

Just a couple of problems here, you hillbilly sh*t-for-brains. First, they’re not illegal immigrants. They’re here on humanitarian visas. Second, most of them have been in Springfield longer than you’ve been Senator. And third, those legal immigrants were invited to Springfield to help the town revitalize it’s manufacturing industry.

And what has been the result of your careless, soulless, cowardly recitation of a story nobody with 12 brain cells would believe? Long term legal Haitian residents are terrified to leave their house to go to the store or work. Local schools and the city government center have had to be evacuated due to bomb threats. Schools are closed, and local colleges are using remote learning.

Let me ask you a question f*ckwad. Think back to your childhood. How did it feel, cringing around the house, wondering if a slap or a punch was coming for saying or doing the wrong thing, or being in the wrong place at the wrong time? How did it feel trying to find a way to sneak into school so that the bullies didn’t get a crack at you before you could get through the doors? And now you’re the bully, terrifying innocent people you’ve never met, just so you can feel strong and all bad ass?

And because he’s an imbecile, he can’t even be a bully right. On CNN yesterday Dana Bash called him out, reminding him that the police chief, the GOP Mayor of Springfield, and the GOP Governor of Ohio had all stated that there were no reports of immigrants eating pets, Beggar fatuously replied, Well Dana, we’re crafting stories here to force the media to pay attention to the suffering of the people. And if I have to continue to craft stories to force the media to pay attention, then that’s what I’ll do.

To her credit Bash landed on Vance with both feet, So what you’re saying, what you’re saying is that you’re making up stories that you know aren’t true, just to force the media to pay attention to them, am I right? Which earned bash the blankest stare ever seen outside of an opium den, followed by a stuttered, Not at all, what I’m stating is,,,Dana, I’m getting these reports firsthand from my constituents! Helpful hint. Don’t ever try to steal a candy bar from a gas station, moron.

And now the silly sh*t has stamped his human passport null and void. In a speech in front of a bunch of likewise inbred rednecks, Vance snarled out, in his best Don Knotts voice, The difference between a conservative and a liberal is that nobody has taken a shot at Kamala Harris. But in the last six weeks, two crazed gunmen have tried to kill President Trump! I’d say that this is pretty strong evidence that the radival left needs to tone the rhetoric down before somebody gets killed!

Fact check sh*theels. Calling somebody an enemy of democracy is not a license to kill. And just for the record, both of the attempted assassins were registered Republicans. Both voted for Trump in 2016, and the first gunman had donated $100 to a GOP voter registration drive. And the second one penned a long Tweet blasying Trump for not living up to what people voted for him for, and expressing glee at the thought of seeing Trump gone from the White House. Where am I missing the leftist indoctrination here?

JD Vance is a pathetic excuse for a human being. He has no soul, no empathy, no sympathy, like Trump himself no human feelings. He will say and do anything, making it up on the fly as he goes along, trying to prove his toughness and leadership.

But at his soul, he’s a f*ck up, and he’s going to cost Trump dearly in November. For starters, he’s not Trump, he doesn’t have the persona or chops to get away with this bullsh*t, the media is eating him up. And second, he’s a loose cannon. Every time Traitor Tot tries to moderate his position, there’s Beggar Vance, stomping all over his feet with baseball cleats. This isn’t a match made in Heaven, what it is is a match between a deranged demon and a drunken succubus. And the sooner they’re in our rear view mirror, the better.

I thank you for the privilege of your time.