I Once Compared Ron DeSantis To Scott Walker. DeSantis Is Worse. Much Worse

Oh please, Dios, let Florida Governor Ron DeSantis survive the primaries and become the GOP nominee. Biden won’t even have to leave the White House to campaign!

As we speak, former CIA Chief and Secretary of State Mike Pimpeo appears to have read the handwriting on the bathroom stall wall, and decided to humiliate neither himself or his family with a 2024 run. Good move, tyke. After all, the GOP already has a fat guy with fright wig hair on the ballot.

But it appears that South Carolina Senator Tim Scott is inching closer to an announcement for a 2024 run. Which is like inviting Little Orphan Annie to a knife fight. Scott’s only claim to fame in the Senate is pretending to negotiate with Democrats on legislation, especially police and vote reform, only to cut them off at the knees when they actually submit proposals.

The field may be firming up. Former Governor Asa Hutchinson has come out and officially declared, and then immediately crawled back into a box of his native earth. His lane would be opposing former South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley, and it’s a fools errand. After her announcement, and a breed slurry of campaign appearances, Haley has disappeared. And little wonder, since she’s currently polling at about 5% in the national polls.

Which leaves us with unannounced nimrod former Vice President Mike Pence. And I don’t need a crystal ball to see where that campaign is going. Pence, the former one term Governor of Indiana, who ran to Trump’s side rather than get his *ss kicked in a reelection campaign, showed up at the annual NRA convention today in Indianapolis. When Pence’s name was announced, and he walked out on stage, he was greeted with a lusty round of boos and jeers. A wimp to the last, Pence stood behind the podium, leaned forward to the microphone and said, Thank you Indiana, I love you too. Helpful hint for Mike Pence. Start checking out the trade schools on the inside of matchbook covers.

Which basically leaves a two man race between Traitor Tot and Honey I Shrunk The Gov! And while Trump declared early to raise bail money and try to forestall federal and state investigations, Pissantis is still ricocheting around like a pinball in the bumpers trying to decide what to do and when.

I once spent an article comparing Pissantis with fellow Governor and world class shorty Scott Walker of Wisconsin. And all of the comparisons were on point, and relevant. But since Pissantis was just getting started, I missed a critical point.

At least Walker was willing to put himself out there. He declared early so he could fundraise, and then he hit the trail for the early states. And he campaigned hard. And when he did, he actually campaigned on his platform and his accomplishments, and let the voters make up their own minds. And they decided to send Walker packing. But at least he did the job.

DeSantis is like one of the weasels in Who Framed Roger Rabbit? He’s been throwing around ten gallon hints for six months that he’s running, but since he hasn’t actually declared, he can’t fundraise for his campaign. And while he has a healthy war chest, any national politician will tell you that you never have enough.

I have never lived in Florida, and God willing will never live in Florida, but I have to admit, they seem to be a strange breed of cat. I’m starting to think that due to longer term exposure to the Disney World complex, Florida has literally turned into ToonTown. I can’t think of another reason for the residents to tolerate such nonsense as

• DeSantis picked a fight with the state’s largest employer, along with the state’s largest tourism draw, which Florida lives and dies by. That fight led to a move to Strip Disney of its autonomy rights, adding a $1.2 billion tax increase for the two counties Disney touches
• DeSantis prohibited mask mandates, even in schools, downplayed Covid vaccinations, and announced Florida Open for business in the middle of a global pandemic
• In his reelection campaign DeSantis aired a truly moronic campaign ad titled Top Gov, where the little runt strode across a flight line, clad in a flight jacket and aviator sunglasses like he was going to go and bomb Moscow
• Never knowing when to quit, late in the campaign DeSantis released another ad titled something like And on the 8th day, which featured pathetic images of DeSantis trying to look tough, while a sonorous voice from an evangelical show tried to make him look like the appointed warrior of God

Now that sh*t may be gonzo for a bunch of sunburned retirees, but both of those ads became the fodder of national ridicule on late night television, as well as on national news shows. And if he’s going to use the same advertising strategy for a national campaign, then to quote from Pirates of the Caribbean, he’s Headed for a short drop with a sudden stop.

But, being Trump’s larval imbecile, DeSantis keeps showing his total incompetence at running a national campaign. For instance;

• DeSantis refuses to call his scattered, sporadic campaign stops as campaign events, instead calling them stops on his book tour, like he’s really trying to pimp early primary state voters into buying his POS screed that nobody wants to read
• Two days ago, DeSantis spoke to an extreme anti abortion group, bit in the body of the speech he never spoke of the impending 6 week abortion ban that he was poised to sign
• And yesterday, when he finally did the dirty deed, DeSantis signed the 6 week ban at 11:30 at night, with no fanfare or public notice, and only sent out a tweet with a photo of the signing at 11:40 at night. Trying to hide anything, Tiny Dancer? 

I don’t know, maybe it’s something in the water down there. But DeSantis seems to be deluding himself into believing that if he doesn’t Hold a grand ceremony, with fireworks, somehow or other nobody else in the country will realize what he’s doing. News Flash for ya Little Ronny, it’s called national news for a reason. When it comes to national politics, as boxer Joe Louis used to say, Nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide.

We’ll find out soon enough. Despite his natural insecurities, DeSantis can’t stay on the fence forever. And if he jumps in, then it’s game on. But the funny thing is, with Trump’s legal difficulties getting more difficult every day, and Trump’s total lack of control over his compulsions, if Traitor Tot starts going off the rails, I can actually see a narrow runway for DeSantis to land his plane on. And if that happens, Joe Biden is going to have the time of his life.