How Stupid Can Stupid Get? Don’t Touch That Dial

I honestly don’t even know where to begin this. The standard axiom is that If you’re in a hole, stop digging! Another old axion is that criminal defense attorneys should only have two words outside of the courtroom, No comment. But not only is the most recent Trump legal darling, and soon to be sacrificial cow John Lauro making it clear that he isn’t qualified to practice in traffic court, there are other Trump co-conspirators in other places who are proving themselves to be legal imbeciles too.

To be honest, John Lauro looks like a guy who should be in a library cramming for his junior year law school exams. But instead, he’s Traitor Tot’s newest media poster child, doing the Full Ginsberg on the Sunday morning shows for one reason and one reason only. Because he’s young enough, telegenic enough, immoral enough, and stupid enough to say whatever Da Boss says. Such as;

• When pressed by media hosts over Trump’s already recorded and reported threats to Georgia SoS Raffensperger to Find him 11,780 v0tes, Lauro comically stated that Trump was making full use of his First Amendment Rights in order to make aspirational requests to a local government official to redress his accusations of voter fraud
• Never one to abandon a stupid bromide, when challenged on Trump’s order to former VP Mike pence to send the electoral votes back to critical battleground states, so that the election results could be challenged in the House, Lauro again said that Trump didn’t order Pence, he made an aspirational request for Pence to toss the critical swing states electoral ballots back to them to review, hoping to let the House take the final vote. This despite Trump being confirmed as saying, I like option D, let’s go with option D. D for dumb
• Giving Lauro time to curl up in a corner and lick his wounds, let’s turn to Florida. Trump’s legal flying monkeys down there presented Judge Aileen Cannon with a request for the federal government to pay for a SCIF at Mar-A-Lago so that the legal team and defendant to view the classified documents there, citing logistical and geographical issues. This despite the fact that both the local FBI headquarters, as well as the US Attorney’s office, both within 30 miles already have SCIFs up and running.

Let’s get away from the Trump legal team imbeciles for a moment, and expand our horizons. Earlier today, nine of the sixteen fake elector defendants were arraigned in state court. And one of the predominate excuses laid out by some of the defendants, if not in court showed that their own legal representation was just as stupid as Trump’s.

In a media interview today, one of Trump’s defendant flunkies showed the media the official electoral delegate forms, alongside the form that the Michigan miscreants actually submitted, and said something like, This is not a forgery. Look at these two documents. The official document has the official seal of the state of Michigan on top, and the Michigan and the Michigan notary seal at the bottom. The one we signed has neither of those, so it can’t be a forgery. 

Well, excuuuuuuse me, dipsh*t. If I set up a printing press, create plates for $100 bills, get the paper, and then, instead of using shades of black and green, I use lime and navy, and then I take them to a store to try and buy shit, it doesn’t matter if the colors were wrong, I attempted to defraud both the United States government, as well as the merchants. It was all just a joke until you sent them to the National Archives purporting to be legitimate electoral ballots.

I have never seen anything like this. Here you have a bunch of mental midgets accused of serious state and federal crimes, and their response in court is not based on sound legal principles that they can use in court, but instead are based on whatever political talking points that Glorious Bleater has deemed politically advantageous. As I’ve said before, Sometimes life among the stupid can be so gratifying. Don’t touch that dial.