This is an obvious one because Donald Trump has always been as smart as a fish, so it makes perfect sense that he’d go into the mail order trout business. The only “catch” (Bwahahah) is that this trout is one you hang on your wall, spits out phrases related to Trump, and is – in fact – not put out by Trump at all. He doesn’t get any money from this and will probably file a lawsuit trying to get it off the market. But it won’t work.
It will not work because it’s a product for Democrats and never-Trump Republicans. Additionally, as you might have already surmised, it hangs on the wall and isn’t edible, unless you really really oppose Trump. Perhaps then you might deep fry-it, you can eat deep-fried road kill and it’ll taste deep-fried.
This one talks. The only problem for us is that it comes on an app or an email, so it cannot be posted to view. What is possible is to give you some lines it says and link it. Lines like this one:
I am the hugelyist biggest fish in the pond!
Well, sure – Trump is always the biggest everything, at least the stuff we can see. He is definitely the biggest dick to come around in a long time, as for a huge… Well, you know. We can’t and don’t want to know. Then there is the self reference below:
All the fish in the pond love Trumpy.
If Trump is in power and you need something, you best at least say that you love him. Have you ever wondered why a foreign power might want to deal with him? It is probably due to the fact that they can get nearly anything from him if they compliment him enough. If you think about all the times he says he was told that America was now powerful again, or he is the best president ever, he was probably NOT lying. If you want something, just tell him he’s powerful. We know he was loving the fact that both China and India treated him like a rock star.
Okay, now the best one:
I am building a new pond and the bass will pay for it.
This is just genius. The other two quotes probably wrote themselves but this one took real creativity, so much so that if you give this one out for Christmas, it should probably be set on this line forever.
The line is also one of the best remnants of the first Trump administration. Not only did he not build a wall (The parts that he did build were more like very tall fencing), but he didn’t get Mexico to pay for any of it. He would instead talk about American policy in Mexico, which is not the same as having Mexico pay, nor did he ever prove that his policies increased money in the US Treasury.
The only way to ensure that it’s even better is to be certain that Trump actually sees it. He wouldn’t like the hair and huge mouth on it. Other than that, he’d probably say, “Why does such a smart fish look so stupid. Everything it says is perfect!”
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God bless. I can be reached at [email protected]
Great. Just what we need, more cheap plastic crap to end up in the landfills. Please! Don’t buy this!
Yep! Overpriced at $59.95 for one; according to the TV spot, discounts are available for multiple purchases, and there’s a deluxe model with a high-quality desk stand, although the eeb site makes no mention of such a thing.
You can check it out for yourselves at trumpytrout.com
Ursula Faw mentioned this product here on PolitiZoom a while back. I warned her then and I’ll repeat it now…read the fine print and then don’t buy it! If you hit the order button, you are signing an arbitration agreement! The kind of thing that is sketchy under any circumstances, but really scammy if all you’re doing is purchasing a cheap-ass piece o’crap like this!! You. Have. Been. Warned!
If that pic is an accurate depiction of the tromby trout, well, it’s not a trout. It is a large-mouth bass. I get it, large-mouth bass tromby doesn’t scan well but still…