As I have watched this whole long, wasted week crawl along, what it most reminds me of is a highlight reel at the Adult Video Industry awards, in the Longest continuous BDSM Scene category. With the part of The Gimp from Pulp Fiction being played by Kevin McCarthy of course.
As I type this, some GOP cretin is standing in front of a microphone, and extolling the non existent virtues of The Crustacean from California, Kreepy Kevin McCarthy. Once he’s finally finished droning on, a Democrat will nominate Hakeem Jeffries, and it’s Game On!
Due to the return of two previously missing McCarthy acolytes to Washington DC tonight, and the defection of some 15 previous NO votes, as this vote approaches, McCarthy has not one, but three possible paths to victory, and the Speakership. And if he has 12 functioning brain cells, he’s gotta be hoping this vote fails.
Because if McCarthy seals it up, then his headaches really begin. He isn’t going to be able to go back to the Speakers office and pop champagne corks because right now he’s four freakin’ days behind. If McCarthy makes it, he’ll immediately be sworn in as Speaker, after which he’ll immediately swear in the new congress. and then he’s in the meat grinder.
Because the next, almost certainly immediate task will be to pass the new rules package. And this is why McCarthy’s world becomes increasingly difficult. Because McCarthy has literally sold his soul to the Devil in order to cobble together this loosely basted turkey. It’s gotten so bad that on FUX News tonight Sugar Daddy Matt Gaetz actually complained that he was running out of things to ask McCarthy for. He has turned McCarthy into a puppet.
Some of the concessions that Gaetz and the Freedom Caucus freebooters have already eviscerated McCarthy for include;
- Any single member can call for a vote to vacate the Speakers’ chair. Which means that any single member who is pissed at what McCarthy is doing can call for his removal, wasting time and energy
- McCarthy had to promise to give the Freedom Party four seats on the Rules Committee, basically giving them dictatorial control of what legislation reaches the floor of the House
- He extracted a promise that the GOP would neither contribute to, or fund a campaign against a sitting member
And here we go again, back to that pesky group I can’t seem to stop writing about. The moderate GOP caucus. It has already being widely reported that the moderate caucus is tres pissed off. Because these dudes and dudettes want to govern, and every dakn rule in the package is geared to make governance almost impossible. And because it will take a vote of 218 to certify the rules, it would only take five moderate conservatives to vote NO to tank the rules package.
And that’s when the fun really begins. Because if McCarthy has to negotiate with the moderates, the only thing he can be doing is negotiating away shit that he already gave to the Freedom Caucus to get elected Speaker. And if he negotiates their goodies away, then it only takes five Freedom Caucus votes to tank the package, and the merry-go-round-breaks-down.
And even If the Democrats pitch in and help to pass the watered down rules package, I guarantee that the first thing that Gaetz will do when the first session is gaveled in is to call for a vote to vacate the Speakers’ Chair. And the whole insane process starts all over again. Why does McCarthy want this goldarned job so bad?
