Well Wannabe Princess Ivanka there’s good news and bad news.  The good news is that it appears you won’t have to deal with the ugly issue of your own father’s obsession with screwing you.  Pawing at you with his nasty little hands or making suggestive comments about it in interviews, sometimes with YOU sitting right there.  (Well, at least for a while)  The bad news is that it looks like he’s replaced you!  With a younger look-alike version of you.  One who will fawn over him, wear cutesy outfits in casual situations (including on the golf course), and the kinds of dressier outfits you wear when business or formal attire is called for.  Someone who will stroke his ego and (brain bleach alert!) maybe more than that sometimes, if not now then one day.  Hope for her sake she’s developed your level of skill in fending him off!

So move over Wannabe Princess Ivanka.  There’s a new girl in town, or more specifically in your daddy’s life who as an article in The Daily Mail indicates looks a lot like you and has taken to the role of “daddy’s girl” like a duck to water.    Meet Natalie Harper.  We’ve seen her before.  Granted, most of us never have watched OAN, the outlet from which Trump poached her but she’s long fluffed him on social media, and even spoke at his “convention” in 2020.  In a few of the pictures in the linked article and one in particular yep, there is more than a passing resemblance.

Oh, and like any rich dude trading in a trophy wife for a younger version this new “trophy daughter” is roughly ten years younger than you!  It seems that unlike you (at least for a very long time, like before you got married to that P.O.S. Jared) Ms. Harper is never far away from Trump.  Her job it appears is to dress in a way that will please him, and continually show him stuff on her phone/iPad/laptop that praises all things Donald Trump.  Let’s hope that’s all that’s been going on.  Or will happen if Trump decides (if he hasn’t already) he wants rather more.

Ms. Harper is the daughter of a Doctor who prior to his death a couple of years ago was a bigwig with a “Christian”/Evangelical Bible College turned “University” out in southern California.  She however went across the country to attend Liberty.  Jerry Falwell’s better known and more established institution of higher education/indoctrination.  So supposedly she’s imbued with “Christian” values but as we’ve learned the MALE leaders in the Evangelical world have some twisted notions of their own when it comes to what women are for and what they should submit to putting up with.  Maybe having been kicked out of the place due to the bad PR Jerry Falwell Jr. earned himself some coin by brokering the transaction that led Harper into “grabbing” distance from Trump!

The point is, if you’ve been following the news about Trump’s legal troubles when it comes to the Trump Org. and even J6 stuff for that matter Ivanka (like her hubby Jared) has increasingly tried to distance herself from Trump.  He’s too busy these days with all the lawsuits and criminal cases he’s facing to run around his neck of FL wooing his oldest daughter.  Human cloning is still a pipe dream.  In science fiction territory and will remain there for a very long time.  So, with cloning not being an option and not having the time to spend chasing his daughter around south FL but still coveting fulfillment of his despicable fantasy, like the typical rich festering with open sores rectum he is Trump took the simpler route – he went out and bought himself a replacement version of none other than YOU Wannabe Princess Ivanka!   Like I said, it’s both good and bad news for you.

This whole sage of Trump and his oldest daughter is just plain disgusting and truly sick.

It’s no secret that since she was a girl, Trump harbored sick fantasies about his eldest daughter.  Hell, her mother, Trophy Wife #1 was named Ivana and what did he name his baby girl?  Ivanka!  If he didn’t want his first son named Don Jr. for fear “What if he turns out to be a loser?” (Yo Donnie boy – with you casting your ugly shadow over his life that was destined to happen.  And as we see over and over your fears were justified) well… Perhaps from the get-go he harbored worse, sicker thoughts about his daughter.  Trump was always going to be one of those rich a-holes that would go through a series of trophy wives, trading each in after a while for a younger/newer model.

There’s an old saying that we never forget our first love and I suppose for narcissistic rich dudes that’s perhaps as true of trophy wives as first loves are for the rest of us normal people.  Being as sick and twisted as he is, and also with a feeling of entitlement that puts most people with that trait to shame Trump might have thought his baby girl would have enough of her mom’s genes to look like her when she grew up.  And SHE could be a trophy wife when the time came!  If she looked like her mom, and had an almost identical name to a guy like Trump that would be the ultimate trophy wife he could strut around with.  And “lord” over other dudes with their own trophy wives!

For damned sure Trump made it clear he’s pretty much always wanted to boink his daughter Ivanka.  He’s even created some sort of uncomfortable moments on camera saying as much with her right there!  And who can forget her introducing him for his bigly speech accepting the GOP nomination in 2016?  He walks out and she greets him, and as one always sees with family members in such a setting goes to hug him and what does Trump do?  Knowing cameras will catch every angle of the moment he, right there on live TV tries to grope her a$$!  (Well, at least he didn’t try to grab her pu$$y.  That time at least.  Small favors I guess)

Trump’s long-standing obsessive lust for his daughter is well known and documented.  As for Ivanka, being “raised Trump” she learned how to use it to advantage and played the role of daddy’s girl to the hilt.  Went to “work” at his company.  Got daddy to front her gobs of money so she could play business owner.  “Take part” in his deals, with Trump assuming her figure with the enhanced chest would cause his business partners cum opponents to get distracted and allow him to cut a better deal.  (Sadly that kind of crap works sometimes)  When daddy made it to the WH, Wannabe Princess Ivanka was thrilled because now, in addition to have played “business woman” she could start “playing government!)  Hell, knowing how much her step-mom hated the idea of leaving NYC and following Trump to the WH Ivanka was setting herself up to play First Lady!  Really.

Well, things didn’t work out that way but she tagged along at many an event and tried every so hard to get people to see her in that role.  And more.  Remember he at international stuff trying to horn in on conversations with actual diplomatic leaders (their spouses to) and getting a clear “leave us be dear – we’ve got stuff to discuss that’s WAY over your empty head” vibe?  We’ve seen amusing pics and video here and elsewhere.  Except it wasn’t really funny.  It was one more thing that made the international community seriously doubt America’s position as leader of the free world.  As is often said, Bush 43 was our “mulligan” but with Trump the world has realized that every four years someone even more clueless, and even dangerous could be President!

Ivanka was surely beside herself over the criticism.  Add to that the social (climbing) life she and her hubby Jared had crafted in NYC had melted away.  Had they stayed in NYC and mostly kept their distance they might have held their position in the youngish up & coming “beautiful people” movers and shakers.  Not leading members but at least they’d have a seat at the table.  But their choosing to become enmeshed with the Trump administration made all that dissipate like a fart in a whirlwind.   To Jarvanka’s dismay, when it became apparent Trump would be hard pressed to get a second term they looked at picking up their old life in NYC.  And Jared had of course accomplished the only thing he really wanted from working in the WH which was to secure a (huge) financial bailout for a disastrous investment that was about to bankrupt HIS family business.  However, their hopes were dashed.  Virtually none of their pals back there wanted anything to do with them.  They didn’t want any Trump stench with city blocks of their “beautiful” “Masters of the Universe” lives.

So Ivanka and her hubby decided they’d try their luck joining the social scene down there in FL.  That hasn’t gone well either.  If not pariahs, they are for the most part unwelcome.  At this point trying to hang on to their ill-gotten gains and at least have all the trappings and benefit of tons of money neither of them deserve.  Which is almost certainly why Ivanka (and Jared too) have been distancing themselves from Trump World.  Minimum appearances at Mar A Lago.  None that I’m aware of at other events.  Fighting those NY legal problems with their own lawyers who have nothing to do with Trump’s lawyers.  In case you don’t know, they got their own legal representation and with real, accomplished white collar DC talent early on.  Oh, they hoped they’d never have to actually split, but they’ve spent years preparing for the possibility.

That time has come.  Ivanka is fighting her legal battles on her own and proving in one sense she’s her daddy’s daughter.  She will throw not just her idiot brothers but her daddy too under the bus to cover her own legal butt.  (There’s been speculation that all has not been well in Jarvanka land too, and that THAT family real-estate merger might well split up with the only question being will it be before or after the split up between the Trump and Kushner “empires” is completed)

Don’t get me wrong.  Trump will never, ever get over his obsession with boinking Ivanka.  The one woman he wants more than all and can’t have.  But some itches have to be scratched, so my newest “A HA!” realization is that it’s a wonder it’s taken this long for Trump to find someone who already looks quite a bit like Ivanka and with some cosmetic surgery could be turned into her twin.  And get her in a position where he can start boinking an Ivanka look alike!  In retrospect we should have seen Trump buying himself an Ivanka replacement for a while now.  She (and Jared) made it clear a good while ago they were done with politics and that they’d rather not be associated with Trump World.

Trump can’t help himself – he pays attention to the news and not just on Fox.  He has known damn well that his not “darling” daughter Ivanka wants to disassociate herself from him and all the scandal.  If her princess dreams will go unfulfilled she at least wants to be a socialite, complete with glittering appearances at the big events movers and shakers simple have to appear at where she lives.  That has little chance of happening in the first place and the chances become zero if she’s indicted/convicted (even if she avoids prison) or loses a huge chunk of  her ill-gotten fortune.  If Ivanka hasn’t gone as far as to hold a presser and issue “I’m ashamed to be Donald Trump’s daughter (she should be!), ashamed of myself for leveraging his prurient interest in me all these years for fame and fortune and apologize for having done so” while announcing a REAL charitable foundation that will be independently administered like a blind trust it’s clear she wants nothing to do with daddy.  Oh, she’ll take whatever money she can somehow manage to get from the Trump Org. IF she can do so without increasing her legal troubles.

But she’s publicly broken with her daddums.  Will, if she hasn’t already done so throw him under the bus already will do so to save herself. And he knows people know it.  Trump as we know never forgives or forgets an insult or slight, and resolves to punch back.  For starters, he’s gotten himself a replacement Ivanka.  And folks around him are no doubt hearing (and a time will come the rest of us too) “She’s better than Ivanka!  Way better!  Ivanka can’t hold a candle to Natalie!  Ivanka can’t be as good as Natalie at anything in her wildest dreams!”  And so on.

Still, Ivanka’s dumping him stings Trump in a way nothing else ever possibly could.  Does anyone doubt that sometimes this pops into what passes for Trump’s brain and prompts some of his late-night rants?  Again, I marvel at the fact he didn’t get himself a replacement Ivanka months ago.  And “Melanie?”  She must be thrilled that Trump is spending all his time with someone else!

One final thought.  Celebrity divorces can be true sh*t shows.  So can family “divorces” – just ask KellyAnne Conjob Conway!  But the time is coming when we are going to be treated to the “Mother of All Family Fights” – the back and forth artillery barrage of flaming bags of brown organic matter that will be exchanged between Donald and Ivanka Trump!

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  1. You wake up on a Monday A.M. You don’t feel great but still you have things needing to be done at work so off you go. Get to work, emails and sh*t piled up since last week, and you feel even sh*ttier. Just when you think things cannot get any worse, denis somehow manages to come up with news that makes one not only feel sicker but also slimy for having read it.

    Happy Monday to you too denis.

    • Sorry Spike. I truly am and I hope you believe me when I say I didn’t feel so great this weekend myself, and seeing this tidbit and writing about it was a sleazy and slimy experience for me too. Still, what I wrote goes beyond the story about the “New Ivanka.” And I concluded my article with what is hopefully the silver lining to this ugly orange cloud. I think you agree Wannabe Princess Ivanka will sell out her daddy in a heartbeat to protect herself. Like I said, she and her hubby have worked with REAL lawyers, accomplished DC lawyers who know sh*t and have connections from early on just in case things came down to a situation of Trump vs. them. That my friends means that like Michael Cohen they have “receipts” to trade.

      This story is something she probably already knew about and it going public is just the kind of humiliation that will pi$$ off someone like her. So disgusting as all this is, it might well accelerate the process of spilling her guts in both the civil and criminal cases against her daddy. Remember, she was in the WH during the Capitol Riot, and not only pleaded with Trump to call it off but was involved in trying to coach him during his attempt to finally get a statement on tape to his mob. (If you recall (we’ve seen some of the “outtakes”) So maybe like me you can latch on to that instead of the sicko part.

  2. Denis, I have a burning question that I hope you can answer.

    Do you think Melania and Ivanka send Ms. Harper separate “Thank You Distracting Donald” cards, or in a rare display of comity do they go in on one?

    • Interesting question but I think the answer is doubtful. They don’t like each other and probably never did. Keep in mind Ivanka really did envision the role of de factor “First Lady” and though she doesn’t realize it is damned lucky Melania relented and moved from Trump Tower to the WH and (albeit reluctantly we know) assumed just enough of the duties to keep Ivanka at bay. However, as much as Wannabe Princess Ivanka’s fee fees were butt-hurt by not getting to be the female face of the WH (and a good first lady can be quite visible and have a real impact on things) she was awfully thin-skinned about the criticism she did get trying to “play government”, pretending to be a knowledgeable VIP at VIP gatherings and on foreign visits. I can easily imagine her in tears, stamping her feet and demanding daddy take these people to the woodshed for not taking her seriously. And journalists for mocking her.

      But there’s another name that occurred to me a while ago I should have mentioned. Remember Hope Hicks? The gal who went to work for Ivanka and wound up spending lots of time with Trump? Her family seriously worried about her being mixed up with the Trump’s and when for a while she left all that were relieved. But Hope was enticed back into Trump World. Which means she saw and heard stuff prosecutors have surely been interested in. If she was stupid enough to return to Trump after getting out she’d probably stupid enough to have him cover her enormous legal fees – and LIE for him. Which will result in her one day spending a spell in federal prison. But SHE used to be Trump’s ego fluffer. (It’s revolting to think about the other kind!) And now someone else has taken over that role. Hell, she might be banished to the fringes of Trump World, if not cast out completely. If it’s the latter and especially if her Trump paid lawyer is less and less available and just says – do what I tell you and either plead the 5th or say you don’t remember & stop bothering me” the light bulb in her otherwise empty head may turn on. And like say Cassidy Hutchinson (and some others) she might get a new lawyer who looks out for her interests and her interests only in a case of “hell hath no fury” revenge. If so then she’d probably thrilled Trump has a new fluffer.

      • Interesting take on how Ivanka tried to insert herself into international VIP gatherings. At least Melania would likely have known to keep her mouth shut, as opposed to Ivanka who should have known better.

        • In one of the Dirty Harry movies Eastwood’s (Harry) tag-line was “A man’s got to know his limitations.” Ivanka (and Jared too) seemed to personify that concept as she’s one of those people born on third-base and thinks she hit a triple. Oh, she’s not stupid. But she clearly thinks far more of herself and “her accomplishments” than is warranted. My sweet ole “Granny” almost never said anything bad/insulting about anyone. Even her P.O.S. husband, the most vile and despicable man (I’ve literally spent a lifetime being ashamed of being his grandson) it’s been my misfortune to have known. So when she did it was memorable. Her most withering insult was classic, and though she died over thirty years ago I have no doubt she’d apply it to Ivanka with the added note she was definitely her father’s daughter – “I’d like to buy them for what they’re worth and sell them for what they think they’re worth!”


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