Hail! Hail! The Gang’s All Weird

It’s like Deja Vu all over again   Yogi Berra

I’ve never seen anything like this. No matter how weird Trumptopia got, and how much your head spun, if you step off of the Tilt-A-Whirl and settle your thoughts, you realize it all comes from the same place!

Thanks to a myriad of scandals, and a combination of first the Mueller probe, and then Democratic House congressional hearings, we spent 4 years with a new national drinking game, Who’s Next? The media liked to refer to it as waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Here’s how it was played. Because the Mueller probe was being done secretly, and the House Democrats were learning shit as they went along, nobody knew who was going to be called next, or what they would say. Which led Trumpies with guilty consciences to start popping out of the woodwork, making self serving statements. And after listening to that drivel, we all needed a drink! Several in fact.

Example. Thanks to a leak, Trump’s Stormy Daniels cover up saga broke. It turned out that Trump’s long time fixer, Michael Cohen, was the bagman. Dumb as a box of rocks, Trump decided to make Cohen the patsy. Cohen was such a loyal soldier that he ran screaming to a House committee about trump’s fraudulent business. Cohen got 3 years and a bestseller book, and Trump has civil and criminal investigations into his businesses in New York.

Round and round the mulberry bush. Here we go again. The House Select Committee is investigating the causes and effects of the Capitol Riot. And amazingly, the dynamics are almost identical. The committee is doing its work behind closed doors, and nobody knows who is testifying, or what they’re saying. But they are also holding sporadic televised hearings, and releasing snippets of really juicy shit to keep people interested.

And again, nobody really knows who’s talking, and what they’re saying. 1st Amendment privileges when a tranche of his conspiratorial texts to Mark Meadows became public. Which leads to 1st Amendment privileges the spectacle of Mark Meadows first cooperating, and then not cooperating after turning over 9,000 texts and e-mails. And Jim Jordan sounding like a dyslexic lawn mower when asked if he’ll cooperate with the committee. And Sean Hannity whining about 1st Amendment privileges when a tranche of his conspiratorial texts to Mark Meadows make him look like shit.

Which brings us to the Michael Cohen of the Capitol riot probe. Only he didn’t mean to be, actually he thought he was helping. Yesterday, Former Trump Trade fraud Peter Navarro was on The Beat with Ari Melber on MSNBC. And I’m just guessing here, but I’m betting it is the last time, because it was a debacle, that generated headlines today. Navarro tried to be a hard badass, getting into Ari’s face, but Ari didn’t blink.

Ari finally asked, Look, all I’m asking is what the plan, and who knew about it? And good Lord, did Navarro tell him. First, almost nobody knew about the plan, it was purely need to know. The only ones in the know were Trump, Navarro, Meadows, Ted Cruz Giuliani, Bannon, and I’m guessing Trump’s hairdresser, his spray tan man, the pizza delivery guy, and Melania’s leg waxer. Along with Hannity if you believe the texts to Meadows. No chance of a leak there.

The plan itself was brilliant in it’s simplicity and stupidity. It called for the GOP House to use legislative parlor tricks, and Vice President Mike Pence, to send the delegate slates of the six contested states back to the states. Most, if not all of them would decertify the results, which would throw the results to the House for a vote, and with GOP state majority, Trump would remain Prince of Fools.

Ari then asked Navarro a simple question, Sir, you do realize that what you’re describing is a classic coup? Navarro’s face froze for a moment, and then he said, No it isn’t, and went off into the constitutional weeds. To which Melber replied, You must know that if that is the way the constitution actually works, it would be both incredibly dumb as well as incredibly dangerous. Game, set, and match.

This is only going to get worse the closer we get to, and after we’re into the televised public hearings. Nobody knows what anybody’s saying, but everybody with a bullshit cover story is going to want to get it out there first. Which means quite possibly gabbling away about something nobody even heard of before. My personal advice? If you’ve got a punt or two in your pocket, invest in Orville Redenbacher popcorn. Because once these hearings start, there’s gonna be a run on the stuff.