Life among the stupid can be so satisfying Donald E Westlake
Man, I’m going to be as miserable as original sin next year if/when the Democrats retake the House. Mainly because He groped me coach! Jordan will no longer have a Chairman’s gavel to bang down, making my job as easy as falling out of bed.
Jordan, just like every other soulless, talentless sycophant who managed to threaten and humiliate House Squeaker Cave-in McCarthy into giving them a gavel share one common trait. They all long ago gave up politics for a profession in the Kingdom of Trumptopia, and went into performance art instead.
Don’t get me wrong. Performance art can be brilliantly effective in politics when it’s done right. Case in point, just look at the Permanent select Committee To Investigate January 6th. It was gripping, must see television, slickly professionally produced, with oodles of riveting real witnesses, and cliffhanger endings.
If the J6 committee was a political docudrama directed by Steven Spielberg, the Judiciary committee hearings of Gym Bag Jordan are a grade-B horror movie directed by Ed Wood. Maybe something like Attack of the Killer GOP Tomatoes II. Jordan just can’t seem to stop stepping on his own crank. With golf cleats.
Jordan thought that today would finally be a MAGA blowout, finally getting FUX News critic Jesse Watters off of his back. His secret weapon? No other than disgraced political dynasty wastrel Robert F Kennedy Jr. The strategy was simple, if juvenile and moronic. Kennedy Jr. is a registered Democrat of the iconic Kennedy clan, and he is also running as a Q-Anon wingnut candidate in the Democratic primaries against Biden. The GOP gives Kennedy an open mic night to spit out his racist, anti-Semitic, anti-vax claptrap, making the Democrats look terrible, and the FUX News target audience would love him.
How many ways can a moron manage to find to get a single decision so disastrously wrong? First, the Democratic committee members were more than ready, and sliced through Kennedy like a sushi chef putting a yellowtail roll together. And second, who gives a sh*t if the slobbering Trombies on FUX love RFK Jr.? They don’t vote in Democratic primaries! beam me up Scotty, there’s no intelligent life in here.
But here’s where Jordan boned the bow-wow. A recent poll showed Kennedy pulling a miserly 14.2% in the Democratic primaries. And Jordan and the GOP would love nothing more than to elevate Kennedy’s status with this hearing, and siphon off more primary votes from Biden. The nastier the Democratic primary fight, the better for the GOP going into 2024.
But here’s the McGuffin. First, 14.2% polling is not exactly a deadly threat when running against an opponent who is polling at 71%. Biden doesn’t even need to debate this ass clown, although I hope he does. Let him puree this moron in front of a national Democratic audience. Because of the 2nd reason. That 14.2% polling for Kennedy aren’t paying any attention! These are people who won’t even start to tune into politics until sometime after Labor Day, next year. All they know right now is the magic name Kennedy, and that’s good enough for them. Most of them don’t even know what he looks like.
Not now. Not anymore. Thanks to mat rat Jordan’s stupid sham hearing, every mainstream media news show is now busy leading their hour with clips of Democrats dissecting Kennedy and feeding the tidbits to the cat. Better yet, they’re rotating through the clips, so every Democrat gets their moment in the sun.
Kennedy wanted some free media coverage for his campaign? Well, thanks to Gym Bag Jordan, he got it and then some. The only problem is that it’s the kind of media that is about as toxic for his campaign as possible outside of the FUX News bubblesphere. It will be interesting to see what the next Democratic presidential poll looks like, after mainstream voters actually get a look at what a flaming muckbill Kennedy really is. Keep holding those hearings dummy, you’re knocking ’em out of the park!
I think you cite the wrong movie. A better example would be a ten times worse version of Howard the Duck! Or maybe Kennedy and DeSantis can form a disaster movie of all disaster movies ticket – working title Ron & Robert Destroy the Universe!
Maybe ‘Dumber and Dumberer’
If what the J6 committee did was “performance art,” then everybody that performs their work well would be called performance artists. But really the J6 hearings were a consummate example of the LEGISLATIVE art. Calling this “performance art” implies it was a mere performance in place of actual governance. That would put it in the same category with Jordan’s “censorship” hearing, which IS nothing but a performance, and not very “artistic” either. By the way, I have anything against actual performance art, it can be great.
Meant to write, “I have nothing against actual performance art …”
If the only tool you have is a hammer, then everything looks like a nail. If the only thing you know is wrestling, then everything looks like a wrestling match.