First Don Jr. Then Eric. The Stupid Dam Bursting Was Inevitable

Right out of the block in the direct examination of Diaper Donnie Redux, and already surprises. For starters, his appearance was delayed when cross examination of the previous witness went longer that expected. Didn’t surprise me. If I knew that my next witness was a dim bulb like Don Trump Jr., I’d be reading the Akron phone book, with a Do you agree that’s accurate? after the 4th name, hoping the Resurrection gets here first.

But all playtime must eventually come to an end, and Dimwit Donnie was sworn in. A quick layout before we proceed. Wgu8le Don Jr. and Eric may have been equals in running the company, they had far separate tasks. Eric was more in control of the day-to-day, on the ground grind of the operations. Don Jr. was in charge of acquisitions (if any), the the overall running of the corporate side of things.

Since it’s risky for a defendant to plead the 5th Amendment in a civil trial, especially a bench trial, I had fully expected a never ending cavalcade of I dunno‘s wrapped in legalese to come out as, Sorry, I can’t recall. But Mini T went with a bold new approach, willful ignorance.

When the eldest TeleTrumpie was asked about his understanding of GAAP (Generally Accepted Accounting Principles), he replied with the correct definition. When asked how he became familiar with the term, he replied Probably in Accounting 101 as a freshman at Wharton in the late 1990’s. When asked what he understood those to be, he replied, Well, I’m not an accountant, but it probably mans that some procedures are generally accepted as standards. It was a long time ago.

Time Out! WTF! This is Donald Trump’s oldest surviving male orgasm. He’s been trained from birth to take over as chief con man when his old man finally retires, and he takes a grand total of one lousy accounting class at the Wharton School of Business? In order to run a multi billion dollar business? I wouldn’t let him run a parking lot in Queens.

Then it got worse, because Don Jr. decided to mix the SODDI (Some Other Dude Did It) defense into the mix. When asked about several financial forms with his signature on them, Don Hr’s reply belongs in the Guinness Book of Stupid World Records, I have no idea. As I’ve said, I’m not an accountant, and not a lawyer. In fact I pay accountants and lawyers millions of dollars to handle this stuff for me.

Pause Button Again, WTF!? I’m not a billionaire, real estate mogul, lawyer or accountant either. But I have had the occasion to hire both of the latter in my life, as have you, and the texture of Trump Jr’s bullsh*t is rich enough to plant beans in. Here’s why.

When a lawyer or accountant creates, fills out, or reads a legal document for a client, they normally sign at the bottom attesting to that fact. Which means that if something goes wrong, their ass is now in the same sling as yours is. And they’re not going to take the fall, so they explain every little thing.

When I bought my only house, back in the log cabin days, my lawyer, who sure as sh*t wasn’t collecting a cool mil from me, spent over an hour explaining every relevant clause in the mortgage. And every time you, I, or anybody else goes to a Jackson Hewitt or H&R Block to get our taxes done, the minute the dude completes it, he swings the screen around so that he can show you everything he did. And you sign a statement to that effect.

So basically, Dipsh*t Donnie Jr’s legal excuse for willful ignorance falls into one of two bins. Either he spent the entire time that the lawyers and accountants were talking to him playing Candy Crush, said Whatever, and signed the documents, or Allan Weisselberg, the Trump CFO, walked into Trump’s office and said, Here kid, sign this. And don’t ask me any questions, you’re to stupid to get it. Just sign. And he’s counting on a sympathetic judge?

Frankly, I don’t take option two above off of the table. Don Jr really is just like his old man, a barely functional imbecile. Trump slayer Tim O’Brien, author of Trump Nation, and one of the few living souls to see Trump’s tax returns in a civil trial deposition recounted an amusing incident on MSNBC today. Trump, Don Jr, and Eric were all simultaneous guests on the Howard Stern show. Stern asked them to perform a simple daily task to see who finished first. None of them were capable of performing the task. But only Don Jr joked about it on national radio. His manner seemed to be, I know I’m a moron, but isn’t it funny?

I can’t wait for tomorrow. While Trump Jr. tried the joke thing in court today, towards the end, the prosecutors asked him some very pointed questions about some documents, and for the first time Donnie Redux appeared to lose his cool at the inferences. Apparently even Donald Trump Jr. realizes there’s a difference between looking like a moron, and being dirt stupid. Don’t touch that dial.

I thank you for the privilege of your time.