Everything Trump Touches Dies. Surety Bond Edition

He got us some great gigs in the old days. He got us the Morgan Park, he got us the Tick-Tock Lounge, he got us the Armory Club. I got him laid. He owes me.   John Belushi   The Blues Brothers

I swear, the stupidity is from -people who should know better is getting so dense, sometimes all I can do is to shake my head. I think my new nickname for Traitor Tot is going to be The Judas Ewe. That’s because no matter how many clueless little lambs he leads down the path to the bar, and the slaughter, more of these imbeciles keep docilely lining up to replace them.

Michael Cohen went to federal prison for Il douche. So did Peter Navarro and, Allan Weisselberg, and Paul Manafort. Steve Bannon is waiting in the wings, as are 14 other brainless schmucks sharing a defense table with his in Fulton County Georgia. Rudy Giuliani has already lost his ticket to practice law, and Jenna Ellis, Sidney Powell, John Eastman and Jeffrey Clark are at the same risk. Quite a rogues gallery. And you would think a screaming warning siren to anybody even thinking about doing business with El Pendejo Presidente.

Think again. Enter 80 year old former car hustler Don Hankey stage right. A Trump supporter with a fly by night bank in southern California, it was Hankey who stepped to the front to put up Traitor Tot’s $175 million surety bond so he could appeal the courts ruling. Mark my words. Before long, Don Hankey is going to rue the day he ever even heard the name Donald Trump. And I mean in the next two weeks.

It’s funny, but I think that some of the first scales may already be falling from Hankey’s eyes, which might just be a world record for a Trump dupe. In a recent interview, Hankey bluntly stated, When the appellate court judge dropped his bond amount to $175 million, I just took for granted that Donald would easily be able to cover that himself, that he wouldn’t need me. I was amazed when he ended up on the other end of my phone. But it was an honor to help him. Baa-baa black sheep, say goodbye to your wool.

I honestly don’t think that Hankey has any idea of just how far into the meat grinder The Cheeto Prophet has shoved him. While Hankey’s 3rd rate bank may be chartered and licensed in California, his bank is not registered to operate in New York state. Which means that the state of New York has no certification or licensing information in their files.

Which is why NY Attorney General Letitia James went before judge Engoron to request a hearing to determine the validity of Hankey’s bond in New York state. And if I heard correctly, Judge Engoron has agreed, scheduling a hearing in open court for April 22nd.

If I’m an ethical bottom feeder like Hankey,  the last thing I want in the New York Attorney General raking me over the coals on the sources and probity of my assets in his bank. In fact Hankey has already gotten more public scrutiny in the media than he wants. A day or so ago, MSNBC showed a a vulpine Hankey grinning wolfishly as he described how he ran his auto dealership as basically an automotive version of a payday advance lender. Personally, I wouldn’t trust Don Hankey in a phone booth with my sister if she had more than a nickel on her.

And now Letitia James is going to rake him and his business finances over an open BBQ pit. Now, personally I don’t think that Hankey thought through what he was getting himself into before he signed off on that surety bond. Hankey still owns that bank. AG James is going to grill him on the origin, and provenance of every cent used in that bond. And Hankey still lives and operates in the bluest, most progressive state in the country. Gee. You think the California Attorney General might just be interested in what James drags out of him under oath? I’m not The Oracle of Delphi, but I’m smelling a California investigation in Don Hankey’s near future.

Now, since we’re on a roll, let’s swing back over to the Imbecile in Chief. How many times does His Lowness, the most purely transactional idiot on the face of the earth, have to pull what he considers is a brilliant tactical move, only to have it turn out to be a lame d*ck move that just shines the spotlight right back on him again?

First James is going to grill Hankey like a swordfish on every penny he has in that bond. And then she’s going to pivot, going first after Hankey, followed by Hair Twitler, to determine where every penny of collateral that The Trumpster fire put up to backstop the bond. What was it? was it cash, or an equity line of credit, and if so, where did it come from? Did he post real estate property as collateral? If so, what properties, and were they unfettered and legal to post as collateral? 

This is going to be incredibly entertaining to watch. Just watching that interview, Hankey came off as a total bottom feeding scumbag like Trump, and just like Traitor Tot, he appears to have gotten by with it simply because he was too puny spuds to be worth the authorities time. But now he’s about to become a national celebrity, just like when Traitor Tot won the election, and his entire life is about to become a part of the public record.

And The Mango Messiah, rather than cruising comfortably under the radar to his appeal of the $454 million fraud verdict, is now going to have the origin and provenance of every penny he put up in collateral for that bond called into question. And if one thing doesn’t mesh? Hell, Trump talked to Hankey on the phone to set this up, and interstate wire fraud is still a crime.

Mama Gump put it perfectly, Stupid is as stupid does. And this kind of stupid is a gift from God for prosecutors and journalists. Little lamb Hankey? Follow me, please.

I thank you for the privilege of your time.