Donald Trump has reached the self-parody stage of his act. He keeps coming up with zanier and more improbable material than ever before. And he’s able to do that at a cult rally. In any kind of a normal town hall or primary debate setting there will be people to challenge what he says — at least in theory. But when in front of the MAGAs, their jaws agape, their paws a waving, their eyes brimming with tears of love, he can say anything. And so he does.

That got the ball rolling, then it went downhill.

I’m sure somebody will ask President Carter if he said that. I’m sure the former president will say no. And I’m equally sure that Trump will claim Carter is senile and doesn’t remember. Anybody want to bet?

And I hope you’re sitting the phuque down for this next one.

Yeah, I wouldn’t expose that mass of flesh to the sun either, Donald. Especially, since you’re going to have to put orange makeup on it, and the salt water spray, even, will wash that right off. Better keep your shirt on. In both the literal and colloquial sense of that phrase. He must be thinking that this is real.

Then we get to the infanticide portion of our comedy routine. I must confess, I’ve spoken with a number of women who have had abortions, but nary a one who gave birth and then murdered the kid and called that an abortion. Think of it now, I’ve spoken to probably thousands of Democrats in my life, either in person or online, maybe tens of thousands and not one has talked about how they killed their kid post-delivery. Unusual, huh, since it’s so commonplace.

And this was coming. He telegraphed this on Truth Social and X.

Let’s send Donald the Wikipedia link, shall we? Rockets were fired at Israel every single freaking year of his presidency.

No, Donald, only alcohol purchases require an ID. And if you’re obviously old, you won’t get carded. It all depends. But guess what? You can get groceries delivered and they will leave them at the front door and not even see who gets the groceries. Did you know that, Donald? Why think about that. A chimpanzee or a space alien could be ordering groceries and getting them without a photo ID. Shocking, I know. What’s this country coming to?

Those are the lowlights, friends. It’s all one laugh riot, the MAGA road to the White House. This is an act that belongs in a retirement home in the Catskills, if there.

 

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10 COMMENTS

  1. ‘No, Donald, only alcohol purchases require an ID. And if you’re obviously old, you won’t get carded.’ This may be just an Oregon thing, or maybe it’s just a Fred Meyer thing, but everyone has to show ID now when purchasing alcohol, even those of us who are without a doubt well beyond the age of 21. It’s a small annoyance, but I keep my driver’s license in a handy spot in my purse in order to comply. I do not have to show it for food purchases though, and since iDJT has never entered a grocery store in his life, let alone paid for anything himself (does he even carry cash?), how would he know? Like everything else, he doesn’t have a clue. I must say that for an older guy, Joe Biden is looking rather hunky in that picture. Amazing what a natural tanned look, nicely muscled arms, and flattering colors can do for a guy, as well as a conscience unsullied by lies, deceit, rape, and rank stupidity.

    29

  2. Exc: 💙🌊 Zero Dark Twenty-Nine 🌊🌊🖋️🧫
    @herotimeszero
    Sources reveal what Trump told Putin: “We’re gonna hit real hard. First, we’re gonna hit vodka. Then a few escorts. Then we’ll hit the classified docs I brought. You with me, comrade?” Putin: “Always. Now dance for me.”

    18

  3. I swear this reads like something from The Onion. If I sometimes have to deal with depression, at least I know the staff there lives with it every day. How the hell are they supposed to satirze the kind of stuff Trump and MAGAs spew?

    14

  4. I don’t even find this funny anymore, just incredibly sad that we’ve sunk to this. Millions of our fellow citizens idolize this simpering idiot. JHC – how do we go on from here, even after at some point he dies, what then? Do all these people just suddenly regain their senses as if in a trance and join the rest of us in reality? That would be wonderful but I don’t see it happening.

    17

  5. I don’t know how these people listen to this babble without laughing!
    I men…what the fuck is he TALKING about????
    I guess as long as he thinks he knows what he’s talking about his cult doesn’t have to.
    WE CANNOT ALLOW THIS DEMENTIA RIDDLED MIND ANYWHERE NEAR OUR NUCLEAR CODES!!!!!!!!!!

    12

  6. The only time in the past 20+ years I’ve been ID’d buying groceries was when I used Instacart and my order included alcoholic beverages.

    1

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