Welcome to January halftime from the Twitterverse. I was planning to post a Twitter collation monthly but my bookmarks file is bulging already so I’ve decided to go bimonthly instead.
January Halftime features an eclectic collection. Most were bookmarked because they tickled the funny bone or elicited an “awwwww” from me. Some are more dramatic entries. Funday Furkids make several appearances because I couldn’t possibly leave them out! All are favourites for one reason or another. Enjoy.
Let’s open with a celebratory tweet from January 15 then move backwards in time.
Shots
— ??Aunt Crabby Calls Bullshit ?? (@DearAuntCrabby) January 16, 2021
This is some world-class Karening.
— Flowing with the Chaos (@Fanaphoenix) January 16, 2021
Never heard of American Thinker before. Obviously it’s oxymoron since pro-Trumpers aren’t known for their thinking skills, or their patriotism for that matter.
After receiving legal letter, conservative outlet American Thinker has issued an incredible statement admitting it published "completely false" info on Dominion that had "no basis in fact." It apologizes to readers for "abandoning" journalistic principles. https://t.co/DVFf2eWBSD pic.twitter.com/Qcqrb74q5L
— Oliver Darcy (@oliverdarcy) January 15, 2021
In response to the vanishing vaccines…
Americans were supposed to tax the rich, not vax the rich ?♂️
— disgruntledbadger (@disgruntledbad1) January 15, 2021
A pillow salesman apparently has some ideas about declaring martial law
Honestly, a CEO of a company which makes bedding products being a driving force behind the attempted destruction of the republic is exactly what this season needed.
— Pé (@4everNeverTrump) January 15, 2021
Lots of commentary on the historic second impeachment.
Stripes pic.twitter.com/Pa0yP047CH
— ?The Angry Goddess (@Bishop64) January 15, 2021
A 2nd Impeachment is like a 2nd wedding: You can dress a bit more casual than the 1st go-round, it's a bit more relaxed since everybody knows the drill, but keep it fun and festive with themed drinks!
— NYTimes Vows (@NYTvows) January 13, 2021
And now to the president for comment on this historic day: pic.twitter.com/PbTu3pBGy7
— The Lincoln Project (@ProjectLincoln) January 13, 2021
In response to republicans whose argument against impeachment was that Trump’s term was almost over…
Terrified neighbor to firefighter:
“It’s on fire. You’re going to put that out, right?”Firefighter: “I mean he’s moving out in, what, two weeks? It shouldn’t spread and take out the neighborhood…”
— NeuroPsychoPhD (@SethN12) January 7, 2021
Anyone heard from Melania lately?
That’s Melania in disguise. She’s going to make a run for the border and try to ‘get into’ Canada. pic.twitter.com/d7GBpSNuXi
— RaRa Avis Press Total Memescaping ? (@RaRaAvisPress) January 14, 2021
They should not have been presented to the dummy student in the first place.
— Forbes (@Forbes) January 14, 2021
In response to the story that Trump admin advisors and staffers are being shunned by employers:
Prediction: The economy will soar as soon as Biden takes office. Reason: Trillions will be spent at crisis PR agencies as Trump's enablers seek professional help to doctor their reputations.
— Walter Shapiro (@MrWalterShapiro) January 15, 2021
Meanwhile, those who were fired…
Sebastian Gorka Welcomed To Halfway House For Fired Trump Administration Members https://t.co/lddTAQhWSn pic.twitter.com/SVoDkETSNR
— The Onion (@TheOnion) September 22, 2017
Not The Onion:
Amazing how much damage a GOP term can do. https://t.co/dleEaVZhyJ
— Dr. Kate Antonova (@kpanyc) January 8, 2021
And Funday Furkids make their first appearance to lighten the mood!
Lettie: Who’s that man on TV
Scampi: He’s called the ‘weatherman’
Lettie: Why?
Scampi: He decides what weather we have
Lettie: I’d like that job
Scampi: What weather would you choose?
Lettie: “Today it will rain treats” ☔️
Scampi: Dad, can we get Lettie a job as a weathergirl? pic.twitter.com/fjZ43KctFT— Kevin?Scampi?Lettie? (@KevinScampi) January 16, 2021
Cat Dad problems in lockdown:
PLUSNET, how can I properly CatDad when I can only get internet speeds of LESS than 1mb for the past 5 days??
P.S I can't borrow a sPaRe cAbLE from a neighbor as suggested by your phone support team because pandemic ?
This tweet was brought to you by @iD_Mobile_UK THREAD /1 pic.twitter.com/LSfwZXPyAe
— Paris Zarcilla (@ParisZarcilla) January 8, 2021
Vegetables…
Sunday afternoons, when you’re just vegging out… pic.twitter.com/4fOEATn9M0
— Mothra P.I. (@Hardywolf359) January 10, 2021
and tricky spices:
A great translate fail: the word for “mixed” is mshakla, the word for “problem” is mushkila. pic.twitter.com/kF4jhTgqnE
— Hend Amry (@LibyaLiberty) January 9, 2021
From the Susan Collins School of Learning Lessons, here is the RNC:
Since Ronna McDaniel became RNC Chair, the GOP has lost:
—the presidency
—the US House
—the US Senate
—7 governorships net
—some trifectas, including her own state’s
—her own state’s Supreme CourtSo the RNC chose to renew her as chair.
— Taniel (@Taniel) January 9, 2021
Art:
Live look at trumps picture in the white house. #MAGATerrorism pic.twitter.com/v3fe1UWAeG
— progressive southern belle?! f*ck Ted Cruz! (@RRBL10) January 8, 2021
Education:
American Federation of Teachers offers a two-word statement on Education Secretary DeVos' resignation:
"Good Riddance." pic.twitter.com/3EC3tVp8y6
— Sara Cook (@saraecook) January 8, 2021
We’re not too thrilled with any of the others in the Trump Administration either.
We need to impose a limit on that sort of thing going forward.
— Rodney Caston (@RodneyCaston) January 8, 2021
Well this snippet of information explains a lot. Is this common in Alabama by any chance? I’m thinking this may also be the case with the majority of Alabama voters…
Note: Tuberville played football without a helmet
— andrew goodson (@andrewgoodson18) January 8, 2021
Spelling Bee:
You can’t spell “sedition” without “idiots”
— Katie Mack (@AstroKatie) January 6, 2021
True, literally and figuratively, sometimes even in the way they died.
He died (no joke) after accidentally tasing himself in the testicles and suffering a heart attack https://t.co/Udt8quwzhe
— MF JEWM (@JewishWorker) January 8, 2021
And one from my mate, Captain Shower Cap:
BREAKING: Josh Hawley’s forthcoming memoir, “Life Comes at You Fast: How a Thousand-Year Reich Can Slip Through Your Fingers in Just One Bad Day” has been cancelled by Simon & Schuster.
— Shower Cap (@CapShower) January 8, 2021
Remember the good news before January 6? We didn’t have long to celebrate it then but we’ll have two years to enjoy the effects.
Kelly Loeffler and David Perdue are buying lots of stocks in Warnock and Ossoff Inc.
— Windsor Mann (@WindsorMann) January 6, 2021
It’s all fun and games till you suppress your own vote
— BEAUTIFUL GAME (@pablo_alejandro) January 6, 2021
And here are the winners…
I'm not sure people have fully internalized that, if elected, Jon Ossoff would be the youngest Democratic senator since…Joe Biden.
— Gabriel Debenedetti (@gdebenedetti) January 6, 2021
Rev. Warnock was Congressman John Lewis's pastor. Ossoff was Lewis's intern. And somewhere, somehow both near and far, I have to think that Rep. Lewis is saying, "Well done."
— Fred Smith (@fredosmithjr) January 6, 2021
…and the angels:
RBG, John Lewis and Elijah Cummings are smiling down on us:
Donald Trump will be a private citizen in 14 days. Mitch McConnell is Senate minority leader. Lindsey Graham loses position as Chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee. Nancy Pelosi is still Speaker of the House.
— A Worried Citizen (@ThePubliusUSA) January 6, 2021
Now we’ve won the Senate, this is what Biden, Harris and a Democratic Congress will use their powers to bring to the American people:
“When people need help, just help them” is perhaps one of the most profoundly simple truths. https://t.co/SThB1MlKTh
— Patrick (@TrickFreee) January 6, 2021
As we crossed the threshold into 2021, this overview of 2020 was apt and accurate:
What we learned in 2020? That oil is worthless in a society without consumption. That healthcare has to be public because heath is public. That 50% of jobs can be done from home while the other 50% deserve more than they’re being paid. That we live in a society, not an economy.
— mohamad safa (@mhdksafa) January 1, 2021
And Dr Jack Brown expressed what most of us felt.
After four years, it feels so fucking good to finally breathe again.
— Dr. Jack Brown (@DrGJackBrown) January 6, 2021
It’s going to feel even better soon – roll on January 20, 2021!
Follow @Mopshell on Twitter
Thank you for coming to this site.
I really enjoy your articles.
They bring a bit of sunshine to the situation.
Thank you for coming to this site.
I really enjoy your articles.
I am so sorry for the multiple posts. I kept getting a “didn’t go through” kind of signal.
I know — this keeps happier to me too and I’m never sure which ones “took” and which ones didn’t. Often I find they don’t appear at all.
That tweet from “Taniel” regarding Ronna Romney McDaniel isn’t really all that new. I mean, when the RNC’s first Black chairman actually had a relatively decent election cycle, he got dumped. When Reince Preibus had a definite disaster of an election cycle, he got reelected to the chairmanship and then, when he had a second disaster of an election cycle, he got reelected yet again.
Apparently, if you’re white and you lose Congressional seats, governorships, presidencies, state legislatures, etc, you get reelected to the post but if you’re Black and you actually see a few gains here and there, you’re out on your ass ASAP.
It seems to be all part of the republican policy of failing upwards.
I still have trouble wrapping my mind around that goober Connor Sheetz managing to taze himself in the nuts and killing himself. (Am I a bad person for admitting it’s so hard because I keep laughing when I think about it?) For anyone who’s not familiar with the Darwin Awards, it’s a website that was created to tell the stories of people who (usually fatally) did stupid things that removed them from the gene pool – as in unable to contaminate the human race by producing offspring. Like I said they usually got nominated because they wound up dying, but sometimes they survive their folly but lose their “family jewels” or at least render them non-functioning. Anyway, those who are cited as actual award winners are the ones who commit the most spectacularly stupid feats. THIS guy however, giving himself a heart attack and dying from it by tazing himself in the nuts during a failed insurrection will I think wind up under consideration for a lifetime (deathtime?) achievement award.
Unfortunately for the human race, he procreated before killing himself.
Incidentally, the Darwin Awards predate the website. As I recall they’re part of the Darwin Society which has been around for yonks.
At least he can no longer contaminate the human race more than he already has. Tasers and pepper spray are dicey weapons for self-defense precisely because a single person being attacked, or trying to use one with a group of attackers (even a seditionous mob of pals) so often leads to getting the spray on yourself, getting the contact points of the taser pressed into you by your attacker or the crowd as you’re trying to press the button, etc. Cops work in pairs or teams, or they too can wind up on the wrong end of things. A kubitan is a much safer and more effective tool for self defense. As for this guy, I get that he self-tased himiself but in the BALLS? WTF? Not that I feel an ounce of sympathy for him (I don’t) but I still marvel at him managing to zap himself in the spot any male would most want to protect from injury!
This is wonderful! I enjoyed this. Even the ones I saw already were worth seeing again.
And of course as soon as I posted this I found three more! But they will go into the January Fulltime collection.
Thank you so much! It’s a pleasure being here!
Sometimes, just a little news like this is good. of course cats cannot be trusted signed the dog