This is so ludicrous and fake that I share it here just to illustrate a point that we make often around here: There is no low they won’t go. Melania has her movie coming out in three days and that’s the only reason she’s on the airwaves. But we are supposed to believe that she’s doing amazing things in Washington. Righto.
Melania Trump: "I'm working on more legislation right now"
And just by the by she mentioned the movie at the very end, as an after thought. Uh huh. Speaking of the movie, here’s what Adam Parkomenko thought about it.
The stupidest and most pointless fucking movie ever made is coming out this week. We almost forget to not give a shit. But we do take our duties as your cussing newsletter seriously, so we went ahead and got a sneak preview. Here now is our review of Melania…
Melania (Negative Five Stars and One Self-Inflicted Injury) — Run, don’t walk, far far away from any theater screening this stale jar of hog shit lest you get trampled by the crowds fleeing this new phenomenon of anti-entertainment. What Melania and her team of kiss-asses and rapists have accomplished with this crap-fest is similar to what Donald Trump has accomplished with healthcare, race relations and personal hygiene. There were people in the theaters cutting out their own eyes and replacing them with milk duds. One guy got a running start and ran into the wall to knock himself unconscious. Another poor woman hung herself with red vines right there in the goddamn theater. People were vomiting and crying the whole time. Want to miss the silent movie era? This movie sucks so bad you’ll start to hate the talkies. We can’t even advise throwing your own poop at the movie screen because your poop deserves better. Anyway, go see this movie if you hate yourself, hate America, hate movies or just want to see the MyPillow guy masturbating in public.
Yeah, even the popcorn tasted like shit. Fuck her and this stupid movie. Y’all have a blessed day.
I can’t wait to read more reviews. And don’t forget, Brett Ratner is hanging out at Mar-a-Lago and doing more filming, we presume for the series which is now in the offing. From Melania the Motion Picture to Melania the Series. Can they at least get a collie dog or a cat with some personality? Not that Lassie or Morris would be caught dead with those people but there’s got to be some production value, right?
But is it worse than “Battlefield Earth”? *g*
I recall all those decades ago being a frequent attendee at the late Friday night screenings of The Rocky Horror Picture show. For those who don’t know it’s ‘interactive’ where the audience is part of the show and includes all manner of audience activities, including sometimes throwing things at the screen. Including hot dogs at one point.
Not that I’m say I would, or anyone else should but it does evoke thoughts of making up a big batch of CHOCOLATE cookie dough, at a consistency of ‘just enough to hold a shape’, say a shape of a turd! Wrap them up in plastic and hand what I/someone else didn’t plan to toss myself to other like-minded people. Throw ersatz ‘sh*t’ at the screen. I’m sure there will be plenty of moments when Melanoma’s face takes up the whole goddam screen. It would be funny as hell to see some of the ‘turds’ stick to her face, or slide down leaving brown streaks!
Again, not saying anyone should do such a thing (for one thing I’d never buy a ticket!) but it’s a fun thing to think about…
Just as someone who has run cinemas in the past, including midnight screenings of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, can I implore everyone out there NOT to throw anything at the screen. Movie screens and their special reflective coating are effectively un-cleanable and once marked by anything wet or sticky are pretty much unusable. The replacement cost of a large screen of the proper glass-bead reflective fabric, that must be properly rigged and tensioned, would bankrupt most cinema operators.
Please don’t throw things at the screen.
Even in the Melania movie.
That being struck by objects, even a hot dog actually occurred to me back in the day. I stopped trying to hit the screen and implored friends to also ease up. It made sense to them if the screen got damaged the theater might stop screening the movie. But if a theater had a sheet of plexiglass in front of the screen when this piece of shit starts I say all bets should be off!
Anyone else remember the outrage and furor that erupted from the entirety of the right-wing back in 1993 over the prospect of a First Lady’s being treated as a political equal to the President when Bill Clinton decided to let Hillary take the lead in developing a nationwide health care plan? I mean, the sheer audacity of letting a “mere” First Lady be in actual charge of crafting legislation! Well, the right wasn’t going to stand for it.
So, who thinks Melania’s statement about “working on more legislation” is going to provoke the same level of right-wing outrage? (I doubt anyone on that side will go, “More legislation? What forking legislation has that mushmouthed immigrant worked on, ever?”)
Seems to confirms that this would be a movie where the reviews far exceed the subject. I’d like to write a movie script that would really jam bums into seats. Completely fictional of course, but It might be entitled, “Melania Does New York.” Let your imagination run wild.