I would say to mark your calendars January 30, so that you don’t forget to get tickets for the world premiere of Melania but the fact is that there will probably be plenty of tickets available half an hour before the film rolls. But we will be optimistic here. Everybody knows that in the theater that the house doubles size in the last ten minutes before the curtain, so we’ll just assume for the sake of argument that Melania’s loyal audience will come surging to theaters at the very last moment. Meanwhile, the graffiti is painful.
Where’s the lie? pic.twitter.com/UEPBdc8Ucr
— Political Punk (@actingliketommy) January 20, 2026
Yes, ouch. What’s that you say? Isn’t there supposed to be a series in the works assuming that the film is a massive hit? I don’t think we’re looking at Star Wars here, or Jaws, unless absolutely every Trump voter decides to come up with ticket money and go out to the thee ate ur that night and I frankly don’t see that.
Even people who like Melania (which is Ric Grennel and his buddies, we guess) are not likely to swamp the theaters, although Donald Trump says it’s a “hard ticket” and it’s supposed to premiere at the ghosttown that is the Kennedy Center on January 29. I think we can almost guarantee that that screening will be Grennel and pals.
Let’s see. Personally, I can’t wait to read the reviews. When a film is a real bomb the reviews are often more entertaining than the movie. Let’s see if that holds true here.
Don’t forget, this documentary is supposed to follow Melania in the weeks before the Inauguration. So what would that be? Invitations? Table settings? Wardrobe selections? In other words, this is going to be like a wedding video which notoriously are only of interest to the bride and her mother. Maybe they’ll release doves or have a smoke machine or something.
She’d make more money if she went back into her porn films. Just saying.
Thankfully I’m seeing fewer commercials for this piece of shit documentary. To avoid embarrassment Bezos will but up tickets to give away, and maybe even cough up a hundred bucks to anyone who is willing to get an invisible ink hand stamp entering the theater and have it scanned every time they leave. To prevent someone from trying to escape by trying some ruse like going to the restroom or to the concession stand they don’t get their hundred dollar bill until they get a final scan at the end of the movie that shows they were in the actual viewing theater the whole, or almost whole time!
As for those ads, everytime I’ve heard the ‘everyone wants to know’ line I fight back puking so I can yell NOT ME you plastic humanoid shaped fembot!
As the graffiti says, maybe an ex-FBI agent will smuggle an Epstein video starring her husband into the projection room and do a swap. That would boost ratings.
On second thought, not kids, one of the Pee tapes.