Well, since no one else on our little site has brought this up I will. Embattled Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth got roasted to dried out and ‘carved’ with Musk’s DOGE chainsaw in this week’s “Turkey Trot” episode. After focusing on Noem, then Trump in some brutal takedowns they turned their attention to Hegseth, and even rewrote lyrics to Kenny Loggins’ Danger Zone, which will have an awful lot of troops singing about Hegseth being a f**king douche.” Ole Petey had something of an image and leadership problem BEFORE this and as this spreads around social media it will only get worse.
So what happened in this little half-hour of TV? Well, in prior episodes we saw Satan pregnant with the anti-Christ, sired by Trump and J.D. Vance playing like a scheming version of the sidekick on the old TV show Fantasy Island. It ends with Peter Theil in jail in SouthPark and Trump wants him out and at the WH. At the beginning of the episode it’s clear Hegseth is in SouthPark to do just that.
It happens against the backdrop of Thanksgiving and the annual Turkey Trot race, one of those 5k runs a lot of places do on Thanksgiving morning. Due to times being so tough no business in town can afford to sponsor the race and the ever hapless Mayor goes round the room only to get told no again and again – everyone is struggling. The suggestion is made there IS one sponsor eager to spend money in the U.S. and that’s how Saudi Arabia becomes the sponsor – it doesn’t help that the the ad announcing it includes that no criticism of the Kingdom or its leader is allowed of course.
As this is happing Hegseth shows up (by rappelling from the ceiling after troops throw open the doors acting like, well Hegseth. He whips out a selfie stick to start making ‘content’ for social media, and let’s face it ‘content” is what Trump has always been about. This time around he’s got a team full of attention whores in top spots and Hegseth isn’t about to take second place to anyone. Well, the top cop has no use for Hegesth and isn’t about to release ‘the prisoner” because Petey says so. In fact his kicks him out of the station, literally by the ass.
Hegseth of course is wound up by this, and having learned of the Turkey Trot assumes it will be an ‘Antifa Uprising.’ When Trump calls says he’ll need troops, tanks, everything to get the prisoner (again, Theil) Trump says ok but admonishes Hegseth to actually DO something other than create ‘content.’ Noem shows up wanting to grab attention/content for her and DHS and naturally there’s some infighting between the two, again parodying what’s going on in Trump 2.0 right now. It all turns Thanksgiving into a sh*t show of course. (Yes, Noem shoots a dog when she gets the chance). For good measure, the episode doesn’t limit itself to politics. Some racial stereotyping gets thrown in, as well as the moral issue of taking Saudi money.
I’ll include a video with a recap, but the part of it that will eat at Hegseth is that song. Although the video clip I’m including gives a good recap of the show you can jump to the four minute mark to see/hear it. Lyrics about making and posting content ‘like a teenage girl’ will send Hegseth through the roof. And then the line ‘Pete Hegseth is a F**king Douche!’ sung that fit in just like ‘I went to the Danger Zone’ the way it sound in the original. I guess they really wanted to use Hegseth’s full name even though just the last time is all that’s needed. Here’s hoping that amongst the troops and as it gets passsed around it’s simplified to “Heg-seth is a fucking douche!” Sing it to yourself, or out loud like I have!
This clip goes on to a discussion of something very real and very serious for Hegseth which is the recent news there were survivors on one of the boats blown out of the water and orders allegedly from Hegseth about so survivors so as they clung to burning wreckage another missile was fired. This of course is under international law (and U.S. and code of conduct for our troops) an outright war crime.
The question is what will Trump do once he sees the mockery being made of Hegseth. Even in his rotting brain Trump knows the attempt by Hegseth to cosplay Patton to the top brass brought nothing but scorn and ridicule. Yes, there are some of them who support Trump just as there are those in the rank and file who do but Hegseth? Even for the handful who joined the military hoping it would provide them a ‘legal’ excuse to get to kill somebody, somewhere someday Hegseth was bleeding respect to the point of needing rapid transfusions. Now? With I’m sure troops thinking, perhaps humming or even singing ‘Heg-seth is a fucking douche’ out there there’s no way in hell he can lead his department.
If he truly cared about serving Trump the best thing he could do is resign. Of course if Hegesth DID care he’d have done so long ago. He’s not going anywhere unless Trump fires him. Whether Trump will is a separate question. Like all dictators or wannabe dictators Trump is thin skinned and can’t take criticism. Being made fun of, actually mocked is something that must be like a vampire feels when holy water is sprinkled on them or they’re exposed to sunlight.
For Trump, yes it looks bad to have top cabinet officials like Noem and now Hegseth being so openly and brutally mocked. On the other hand the episodes of SouthPark had him getting it on with Satan, showing him with a penis so tiny it was barely visible and using tweezers to jerk off. Having them move on to someone else had to have come as a relief. On the other hand, the ending of Turkey Trot with Hegseth and Theil in side-by-side cells suggests the town will pay for treating them the way they’ve been treated. Actually a whole lot better than either deserves! So, I think we can be sure Trump will have plenty to rage about soon enough. A ‘The Grinch Trump Who Stole Christmas’ episode perhaps? Stay tuned.
In the meantime I thought you could end the long weekend having some fun at Hegesth’s so richly deserved expense.
Friends, I know everyone begs you for money. I promise, among all those asking for spare change, we are the smallest and the hardest working. We’re a group of old, disabled people, except for one writer in his mid-50s. The rest of us are in our sixties and seventies, and this is a labor of love. All we’re asking for is the chance to keep telling the truth about Trump and help ensure democracy survives. If you can help, please do. Thank you. Ursula
and i have no doubt that southpark. being a reputble organization, or a least not a bunch of douche bags, paid for the license for the song, somethong no one in the administratoon would ever consider doing.
Well, since Matt and Trey didn’t actually use the song as such, there’s no “licensing” issue involved. They used the song’s music but created new lyrics and, as such, it’s considered “fair use” (just like a Weird Al song). The only real issue would be if they were to release the song as a commercial single.
For the record, Kenny isn’t actually entitled to anything from the “South Park” parody. “Danger Zone” was written by Giorgio Moroder (music) and Thom Whitlock (lyrics); Kenny only performed the song. The issue that came about with Drumpf’s theft was that he used Kenny’s recording for his juvenile stunt; I didn’t hear anything from either Moroder or Whitlock though I can’t imagine either man appreciated the use but Loggins’ recording could have been interpreted as his supporting the use. Drumpf could’ve gotten Lara to butcher the song (then we might have heard from Moroder and/or Whitlock as their song would’ve DEFINITELY had its reputation harmed).
But getting back to any potential commercial release of the parody, Moroder would be entitled to a share since his music was used while Whitlock wouldn’t be entitled as Matt and Trey created new lyrics. (It’s kind of rare now for there to be such defined songwriting roles; I believe Weird Al only credits the composer of the music unless he also uses the lyrics. For instance, with his song “Money for Nothing/Beverly Hillbillies,” Al credited Marc Knopfler and Sting for the music from “Money for Nothing” and Paul Henning for the lyrics from “The Ballad of Jed Clampett”–the theme song from “The Beverly Hillbillies”; Al also gave himself a songwriting credit–I believe it was mainly for coming up with the mash-up but his credit is actually the last one.)