It’s like spitting on a fish. It’s like barking up a tree. It’s like we said, you gotta buy one if you wanna get one free. Dare to be stupid Weird Al Yankovic Dare to be stupid
I guess we all should have figured this was coming. After all, it’s not like Traitor Tot tried hiding it under a bushel basket in the shed or anything.
These dumb sh*ts just can’t help themselves. Led by Traitor Tot, they have to be the first to turn what should be down and dirty into a national drinking game. They’re so f*cking arrogant and stupid that they just can’t wait to rub your nose in whatever they’re doing.
Come on everybody, sing along now! You all know the words. John Bolton. William Barr. Joe Biden. Kamala Harris. Bill Clinton. Hillary Clinton. Nancy Pelosi. Adam Schiff. This Trump Enemies List goes on and on. And it’s not like a new hit single. He’s been singing this old dog since all the way back in the 2024 election campaign. I will be your retribution!
I can only think of two possible excuses for this kind of brain dead stupidity. Either Traitor Tot could care less about convictions, it’s all about the intimidation, terror, and monetary expense of defending yourself in a federal trial. Or, he’s had so much success with ICE raids and playing tin soldiers with the National Guard that he honestly believes that all he has to do is to have Palm Bleach Barbie cobble up some bullsh*t charges, and they’re as good as cooked.
And sadly, that last part may not be as difficult today as it was in the good old days, say two years ago. Take John Bolton for example. In order to obtain a search warrant, an agent is expected to present a signed affidavit, approved by a prosecutor, with actual evidence and if available witness testimony to prove the validity of their claims. This is expected to be a 100% factual document and process, which is why judges don’t like anonymous sources on search warrant applications much.
Yet as we speak, there is a group of activist lawyers out there who, at the moment are pressing the courts to open perjury investigations against at least three DOJ lawyers they say they can prove lied to a federal judge in open court proceedings. They have also filed formal complaints in the states where those lawyers are barred, asking the state bar for sanctions or disbarment. And how many Trump aligned lawyers were sanctioned or disbarred following the Big Steal court shenanigans of 2020/21?
But for all of that, the judicial system seems to keep functioning smoothly along, and Traitor Tot, his lawyers, and his DOJ suck at it. And that’s because for all of his inroads towards authoritarianism, there are still two things that Trump can’t, and likely never will control. Judges and juries.
The first is critical, but the second one is the endgame. As long as El Pendejo Presidente can’t control individual thought, he’ll never be able to have the kind of show trials that his despot pals Vlad and Kim do. And that’s important because by his tomfoolery and bullsh*t, he has just handed every defense lawyer a can’t miss defense plan, and laid a minefield for every prosecutor.
The defense is as old as the hills, and it has a solid psychological basis to it. It’s called the Purple Unicorn defense. In short it works like this. When speaking to the jury, likely in his closing argument, the defense attorney will tell the jury, Look. When you go back to that jury room, I really don’t care what you think or talk about, just as long as you don’t think or talk about a Blue Unicorn! Which 100% ensures that blue unicorns are the only thing that the jury thinks or talks about for at least the first four hours.
Let’s put it in practical terms in this situation. You can bet your ass that any defense attorney worth his fee will be spending every waking minute of cross examination of prosecution witness, as well as direct testimony from his own friendly witnesses hammering away at Traitor Tot’s well known crusade of retribution against his perceived enemies. He’ll show video of Il Douche darkly promising retribution and naming names, including his clients
And in his closing argument to the jury, he’ll likely say something like, Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. You know, the prosecution. And their problem is that there is a Blue Unicorn in the room. And that Blue Unicorn is that the President of the United States has already told us all flat out that he fully intends to get retribution against those who have screwed with him. At all costs. Might those costs include manufacturing or editing evidence, or suborning perjury in witness testimony? That’s for you to decide.
And the way The Pampers President has handled this, it makes it almost impossible for a prosecutor to argue against it. He can’t just ignore the Blue Unicorn, there is going to be testimony and references to the hit list and retribution almost every day. He can’t just ignore that neutron bomb sitting in the middle of his case, but at the same time, the only way he can address the issue is by the only way he can’t address the issue;
Look Ladies and Gentlemen ,let’s be frank. The defense in this case is so desperate, so without a legal leg to stand on, that they’ve been reduced to creating mythical creatures! What is this, a Disney defense? There is no such thing as a Blue Unicorn. And the fact that the defense is reduced to this pathetic rhetorical crutch shows how lame their defense is. And whatever President Trump may say, he isn’t trying this case, and retribution is not how we prosecute in the United States. You must decide the case by the evidence, and the evidence alone. Poor schmuck may as well just plop a 6′ stuffed blue unicorn in the middle of the jury deliberation room.
There’s a simple name for what Traitor Tot is doing here, it’s called poisoning the jury pool. And it’s going to kill him and his DOJ. Because it doesn’t really matter how much perspective jurors like or dislike Trump, or the defendant, nor how fair they will try to be. They’re human beings, and once they hear or see something, they can’t un-ring that bell. And by this point, if you want a jury pool totally insulated from Traitor Tot’s virulent rantings, you’re going to have to import a jury of Maori tribesmen or Aborigines. And that may not even work. As ye sow, so shall ye reap.
I thank you for the privilege of your time.
Trump appears to have a history of being litigious for decades. He most likely does it so as to intimidate and silence. If so, in reality, he cannot hope to intimidate and silence every person – natural, corporate, or any other version of person he goes at. It’ll come to a point where the water in his well is well and truly poisoned, and he wont be able to sustain and secure his vile, toxic ways and means.
“you’re going to have to import a jury of Maori tribesmen or Aborigines. And that may not even work” Desperation: They’d be “illegals”!
Great closing argument well argued
This article caused me to reopen a chain of thought that pops up for me from time to time. I can’t claim to fully understand “the law,” or the lawyerly practice of it. But ethics, I understand. I also understand that lawyers are not to break laws or lie as part of their profession. I could be wrong, but I think they’re not supposed to do either at all.
Which brings me to the ABA. When it comes to acting against members of the bar who violate some aspect of the aforementioned conditions, this organization has to be considered one of the most sluggish around, and often doesn’t act at all when called for. Koala bears look like roadrunners, comparatively speaking.
This president doesn’t come up with these audacious, unconstitutional EOs on his own; he’s given lawyerly advice on them. So, if a lawyer gives him advice on how he should violate our constitutional rights and laws, does that not meet the threshold for action by the ABA? If they were to ever act, it would be a busy season for them. This president has amassed a collection of lawyers within our federal government who should never be permitted access to the practice of law.