Trump-Putin Summit Lives Down To Expectations. And So Does Everybody Else

The world sleeps a little easier tonight as five new countries have signed the nuclear test ban treaty. Todays signatories were Chad, Sierra Leone, Upper Volta Monaco, and Iceland   George Carlin

*Yawn* Hey, has it started yet? Wadda ya mean “it’s over?” Why didn’t somebody wake me up, y’all know that I wanted to see that thing! What a waste of time, man!

Actually, I had an even bigger waste of time today. Yeah, mainly I stayed up and watched the lame ass media coverage of the biggest non event since Bobby Fisher-Boris Spasskey II. This time it’s personal! But you’d never know it by the media coverage, the way they played this thing to the f*cking bone, you’d think we were awaiting blaring horns to announce the Second Coming!

The media’s coverage of this non-event was as painful as it was craven , lazy, and repetitive. This is when the media is at its worst, when there is a large block of time to fill while exactly nothing happens that is screen worthy. Here’s an instant replay of the conference up until the point where the meeting room doors close;

• Air Force One lands and parks on the tarmac. The door opens and air stairs pull up
• Some forty minutes later Bolshevik One lands, Pulls to a stop on the tarmac, and parks. The door opens, and air stairs park
• Apparently this was the only actual negotiations of the day as absolutely nothing happens, while apparently the two staffs are bickering as to who will actually get off first
• Trump waddles down the airstairs while Putin prances. At the bottom of the stairs, the two men meet in the middle, shake hands, then walk down a carpeted runway to about a 10′ viewing stand
• The two climb the stairs, stand side by side, shake hands, then walk to the side, down the stairs, and into a waiting limousine, which whisks them away

OK, that’s it kiddies, time for bed. And it left the media with a serious problem. For at least the next two hours, while talking heads repeated themselves ad nauseum, they kept replaying the same lame ass loop of Trump and Putin coming down the stairs, shaking hands, walking to the stand, getting into the car, and zooming away. You could almost see the flop sweat on the anchor’s faces as they struggled to fill time.

So they did it the only way they know how, they laid their asses off, trying to create an air of tense anticipation over a giant nothing burger. MSNBC had a bottom headline that actually read PRES TRUMP MEETS WITH PUTIN FOR HISTORIC ALASKA SUMMIT

OK, look, whoa! I’m calling an emergency bullsh*t time out! It is by simple definition to predict a historic event! That only becomes apparent after the event. What happened here? A fat old guy lumbered down some airstairs like a drunken grizzly, shook hands with a skinny little old guy, got into a waiting car, and drove away. What’s historic about that? How about this?;

• When FDR met with Churchill and Stalin, that was historic, as it changed the tide of WWII
• When Carter hosted Begin and Sadat at Camp David, that was historic, since it resulted in the Israel-Egypt peace accord that helped to stabilize the Middle East
• When Reagan hosted Mikhail Gorbachev, it was historic since the resulting non-nuclear proliferation agreement helped to bring an end to the Cold War and the Soviet Union

Now I ask you. What is historic about two old guys coming down some airstairs, shaking hands, and going off for a ride together? Absolutely nothing, that’s what. And anybody with twelve functioning brain cells already knew what the eventual outcome would be, since failure was already designed into the process.

Here’s why. The overreaching hopes and expectations of the media were clearly displayed in a bottom headline bar on MSNBC after the summit was over: NO CEASEFIRE AGREEMENT ANNOUNCED AFTER TRUMP-PUTIN SUMMIT. There it is, as naked as a newborn baby. The media was pinning all of its hopes on some dramatic ceasefire agreement coming out of the meeting.

But how the hell could it? The last time I checked, you can’t have a ceasefire agreement unless both sides agree to it, and Ukrainian President Zelenskyy wasn’t even there! Apparently he didn’t have an acceptable tie to go with his military tunic, and a suit coat, so he wasn’t one of the cool kids.

That’s why this whole exercise was nothing but a bullsh*t waste of media coverage. Putin wanted to negotiate with the dotard imbecile Trump, but Trump doesn’t have an actual dog in this fight. And the one Putin actually needed to negotiate with wasn’t even in the room. It was political Kabuki at its lowest, and of course the media fell for it hook, line, and sinker.

But there were a few entertaining nuggets I managed to pull away from the ceaseless blather and repetition, and here they are;

• Traitor Tot has gained weight, but his vanity won’t let him adjust for it. Like a woman who has gained weight, yet screams at the shoe clerk, I’ve always been a size 8!, and jamming her foot into the shoes and limping out the door, His Lowness can no longer button his suit coat. I’ve noticed this before, and it’s important because
• Putin made Trump look like a slob. Neat and trim in his suit with the coat buttoned, Putin was totally at ease striding down the carpet. Trump, following a step or so behind him, with his open coat flapping, looked mostly like a retarded Frankenstein trying to figure out how his knees worked. When they attained the reviewing stand, Putin smoothly ubuttoned and rebuttoned his coat for photos, making sure everything was just so. Trump reached down, grabbed the sides of his suit coat, pulled them inwards to make sure the shoulders were squared, and let them fall. He looked like he got his $5000 suit off the rack at the Salvation Army store standing next to Putin
• Trump has lost his aura of control and strength. Watch their handshakes today. Gone are the crushing grip, and the elbow dislocating yanks that almost pulled the other guy off his feet. Trump simply shook hands, and it was Putin who had to be the first to clap Trump on the shoulder before he responded in kind. Trump is no longer an elemental force in world politics

So there you have it. I told you yesterday that this was going to be a total waste of time, and so it was. Still, it was entertaining watching the MSNBC hosts trip all over themselves trying to find something new to say, and the mental image of Traitor Tot as the brain dead meat bodyguard standing next to the mob boss Putin was worth the price of admission. And so my friends, until the next time brain dead stupidity brings us back together, Aloha!

I thankyou for the privilege of your time.

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