Charlie Pierce started off his newsletter today talking about barrels. Yes, barrels, as in all hat no barrel? Wait, that’s all hat no cattle. Or, barrels that they ferment wine in. Judge Jeanine is not associated with those kinds of barrels, though, she is referred to as Judge Box O’Wine. I guess if you’re going to be a public drunk, you need to be classy enough to where somebody will classify you as Judge Cakebread, referencing a respected Napa vineyard, or Judge Bordeaux, something along those lines. But personality and wine quality consumption completely to the side, and forgetting that “Judge” Jeanine hasn’t been a judge nor a practicing lawyer in over two decades, she has come up with some real whoppers over the years.Â
Even before announcing this burlesque nomination, the administration has looted the roster of Fox News all-stars. But this is the Saturday end of that process. If you’re tapping into Fox personalities for one of the most important DOJ prosecutorial slots, why not Rob Lowe, or Troy Aikman, or Lisa Simpson, for god’s sake. Anyone but Pirro, who has proven to be a demonstrable clown. Let’s go to the highlights, shall we?
There was the time she claimed that there were 63 million abortions per year without realizing that was the total since the decision legalizing the procedure in 1973.
There was the time that she said that 59 percent of Black voters were Republicans…in South Carolina. (Pro Tip: Pirro was only 52 percentage points off.)
There was the time she blamed participation trophies for a murder at a New England Patriots game. From Media Matters:
Think about it. In this world today, we’re all winners, okay? No one is being taught that, you know, that there’s a winner and there’s a loser. Everybody is a winner, everybody gets a trophy, that’s what’s going on in schools today. It’s almost like, then you go to a game and there really are losers. And it’s amazing that people who don’t even have skin in the game, they’re not even a part of the team, they’ve become so outraged that they are willing to kill somebody.
I think I speak for the entire class when I say, WTF is this woman talking about?
She also dabbles in economics.
Donald Trump is winning the day, okay? The day started off well. And for all those people who said last week, “You know, he needs to back off the tariffs, he needs to back off the tariffs,” — they don’t understand Donald Trump. Donald Trump does not back off anything. And right now we’ve got countries that are willing to deal, countries that are willing to negotiate. Countries that are calling him up, flying over here to deal with him.
Let’s not be so quick to forget where we were with the Biden administration when interest rates were at 7%. Costs outpaced wages. Millenniums didn’t care about their credit cards because they figured we could never afford a house. These tariffs are literally a transition to the golden age. The man is negotiating, offering concessions to some countries. And you know what? If you want to retaliate, good luck to you because Donald Trump is not panicked and neither should we be because he’s bringing us to the golden age, Harold, and that’s the end of it.
The summations to the juries in federal court ought to be a hoot.
The contempt that the members of the cult feel for the concept of public service seems to be boundless. It’s always been obvious in the president, who sees the government as something he can loot for profit, and whose concept of an executive decision is whether or not to lay up or go for the green. During his first term, even with the bounders and mountebanks he appointed to some office, he still appointed some with at least a faint glow of legitimacy on them. Some of them–like his first AG, Jeff Sessions–even exhibited short bursts of independence  that cost them his support and, ultimately, their jobs. It’s how we ended up with William Barr at the Department of Justice. This time around, he’s chosen to inflict a complete collection of sycophants and fools because they’re what he thinks we deserve. After all, we elected him twice. We must not give a damn, either.
Judge Jeanine was where she belonged, on Fox News. And you can take the once-prosecutor out of Fox News but you can’t take the Fox News out of the new interim U.S. attorney for the august District of Columbia. And if you didn’t read this piece, about how Trump has found a tactic to play musical chairs with interim appointments, you will want to do so now. Trump could actually take Judge Jeanine, and Alina Habba and whomever else he has in an acting, interim position and just shuffle them around once every 119 days.
Legally, it’s iffy as hell whether he could actually do this, but expect Trump to try. The reason: because it makes a mockery of the rule of law, a mockery of government, a mockery for all our institutions and that’s what Trump is committed to, making a game show out of the country and fools out of us all.
I would say that the appointment of Jeanine Pirro finally hits bottom but I know better. There is no low they won’t go and it will get worse than this. How, or who, I don’t know. But worse it will get. Dinesh D’Souza as National Security Advisor? Now you’re getting in the spirit.
The word “worst” in the title jumped out at me. There is after all sooooooo much more. Just wait until the scandal with her divorce gets a couple of days of news coverage. Convinced her husband was cheating on her she wanted to bug their boat, which she believed he used for trysts. Even her pal the eventually disgraced NYPD police chief Bernie Kerik didn’t want any part of it but a tape of her trying to convince him got out.
I never in my life cheated with a woman when I was in a committed relationship. Better to just break up is what I always believed and encouraged others to do. Even during the long period I was legally separated from my ex-wife I didn’t have sex and I had a couple of chances. One, who had a stunning figure and was pretty cool and down to earth lived in the townhouse next door! I was so startled by her initial “I know your situation, so if you’re interested…’ I was embarrassingly fumbling about what to do. (I was staying at home instead of my rented room to look after Sparky because my ex was out of town – at a conference with “the guy” in fact) I had a chat with my attorney pal Barry from back in my hometown where he advised against it and the story he told about his cousin sealed it for me. Wait until I had a signed divorce decree in my hands!
So whether judge box-o-wine’s hubby was cheating or not, I can sure as hell understand why he wanted out of their marriage! I’ve had the misfortune of dating two crazy women in my life. Anyone who’s been involved with a nutjob knows what THAT is like. Every time I’ve seen a clip of Pirro I see that look in her eyes and think ‘batshit insane!’ I’d really hate to be a career person in the U.S. Attorney’s office in DC now. Especially if Trump tries what you’ve written about which is the revolving door thing. I think parking lot lawyer and courtroom loser Alina Habba Dabba Do will be next.
Robert Durst (The Jinx) killed 3 people, including his wife (probably, the 2 others are for certain). Pirro was DA in NYC when his wife disappeared. He claimed that she harassed him. I’ve heard the ridiculous lies she’s floated on Fox News and despite Durst being a murdering monster, I actually find him MORE credible.
Whenever I happened to hear Pirro on a bugs crawling on her skin rant i usually had a moment of confusion. I wondered where what she was talking about happening, and why haven’t I heard about sources. The answers to my questions were, nowhere, and because isn’t. Enough wine can cause your brain to permanently malfuction just as well as whiskey.