Is anybody here a pastor or know a pastor? I cannot wait for the theological community to weigh in on this — and I’m not talking about Paula White, Kenneth Copeland, Richard Jeffress or any of the mega MAGA frauds, I’m talking about a good old basic preacher, man or woman of God. Donald Trump went to Walter Reed today, he wants you to know. And the doctors are in awe of his physique — and his spiritual development, evidently. And guess what? He also took another cognitive exam.
Tariffs Moron Economy Disaster TV
— Bill Johnson (@Bill43111) April 12, 2025
Here’s the bottom of the tweet.
Whatever it is. We all take tests, starting out with Weekly Reader and then going to SATs or LSATs and GREs and all kinds of things. It is a rare person who can’t tell you their score on significant tests in their lives. But whatever it was, Trump aced it because he has a really big brain. And now a “very good soul” to go with it.
So what kind of a doctor was this now? Because this is getting into sci fi and fantasy here. I’ve heard of sole practitioners but soul practitioners? Evidently that’s the case now. Trump saw one, just today.
Now wouldn’t it be a hoot if this soul practitioner was a space alien, who actually had the ability to measure the health of Trump’s soul? And wouldn’t it be a further hoot if the good doctor determined that Trump’s was so small that if you rolled it up it would fit into a gnat’s navel — and still leave room for an agent’s heart? And is the doctor sure that that’s Trump’s soul and not his brain? Or maybe both of those things measure out the same way?
Or, wait a minute…this makes sense: the doctor told him his “soles” were very good. Soles as in bone spurs as in draft deferment (four in fact.) Now THAT makes sense. That I will go along with. Either that happened today or Walter Reed has a Department Of Metaphysics which I absolutely want to get checked 
out by. Think of it, we could go to soul doctors and find out where we stand before we reach the pearly gates and by that time it’s too late.
This is the picture of perfect health, above, friends. Charles Atlas incarnate. If I saw a waistline like that in the mirror, I would start screaming but then I don’t have a coterie of sycophants all around me telling me how wonderful and perfect I am from sunup to sundown.
Maybe they asked him to turn a computer on and off. That ability was mesmerizing to Trump last month when he saw Barron do it. “Wow, you mean you can push a button and the screen lights up? And push it again and it goes dark?” Hey, no wonder there are tabloid stories going the rounds about the kid having an IQ of 170.
Did this doctor say where the soul was located? I’m thinking that maybe Trump got a colonoscopy and thought the doctor said “soul” when he said, “your asshole.” Or maybe Trump’s soul is in his ass, which makes a great deal of sense if you think about it.
Okay, we’re going to take a vote here, class:
- The doctor spoke of Trump’s “sole(s)”?
- The doctor spoke of Trump’s “asshole” but his hearing is not as perfect as he lies about?
- The doctor joked, “Your soul is in great shape but you better lose eighty pounds and stop eating junk food before your heart, stomach, and liver give out?”
- There was no test, cognitively or otherwise. Walter Reed took the basic samples and tests and wrote down the stats, realizing that to talk to this particular patient was an act in futility?
- There was a space alien in a white coat there and they’re writing satire about this up on their planet, too?
Oh, Donald. All that I know is that no matter what I intend to outlive you, so that when you die I can dance a jig into the wee hours and drink champagne. And believe me, your soul is not very good. And you won’t find out the reality of that until it’s far, far too late. That’s just the way it works.
*********
Zoomers, if you can help finance the study of the biglyness of Donald’s soul, we would appreciate it. We’re at least as qualified to make that assessment as any pill pusher at Walter Reed. (The doctors are probably turning scarlet and cringing when they read Trump’s tweet.) Thanks. Ursula
👋👋 Oh, me, let me guess! I think it’s #4! What more than basic stats can you add about a man who will live to be 200?! What a specimen! 💩
Maybe it’s that simple. They took his blood pressure, blood sample, whatever and just went through the motions. No responsible doctor would ignore the fact that Trump is morbidly obese. But maybe they’ve tried to practice medicine responsibly and given up.
“and just went through the motions”. Who would want the job of going through DJT’s motions? What’s the pay grade for whoever was tasked to do it?
Well, I’m sure there are plenty of “doctors” who’d have no problem with “going through DJT’s motions.” Don’t forget that we saw PLENTY of signs outside the offices of physicians that basically said if you voted for Obama, we don’t want your business.
What startled me in the headline was Trump bragging about doctors saying his “soul” was ONLY ‘very good.” This is Trump we’re talking about. “Very Good” is something that I can’t see cutting it with him! No, for Trump we’d expect “The very best Soul doctors had ever seen.” “No one has ever seen a Soul as great as mine!” “I have the best, greatest Soul ever and now I’ve got doctors saying so!” It Trump wasn’t speaking on camera, if that statement was just a post on TS then someone’s ass is fired tonight.
Might we see Ronny Jackson at Mar a Lago Sunday “interpreting” the results of Trump’s physical? I wouldn’t be the least bit surprised. “Dr. Pill Pusher” will put the kind of spin on the results from Trump’s (WHO PAINTS HIS FACE ORANGE!) physical. The reality is he’s as fat as I am and while my own health isn’t anywhere near good HIS has to be far worse. It’s nauseating to think of the kind of state funeral conservatives will put on if he dies in Office. On the other hand at least when it was done things would be better. Not much, but better. I think of the hole Rush Limbaugh left in RWNJ talk radio. It’s still out there going strong and a potent poison being pumped into too many Americans. But there was only one Limbaugh able to capture things and the masses the way he did. There are plenty of wannabes who see themselves as being able to be ‘the new Trump’ but I truly don’t see anyone who can capture the MAGA mood the way Trump managed to do. It will still be out there and now and then someone will for a short time strike a chord but what Trump “mainlines” into their veins will be gone forever.
He’s a heart attack or stroke waiting to happen. So if it does (and I think odds are good it will despite all the time he spends avoiding doing his job and the stress that goes with it) I can just tune out all the ghastly “tribute” TV coverage. Then wait for the infighting to begin and the MAGA movement will be greatly reduced.
If he’s a heart attack or stroke waiting to happen, please speed that up.
Hate to break it to you but most Southern preachers at a church of any size aspires to be one of the Trump Evangelists. There aren’t many basic preachers left anywhere but the boonies,,and I would bet 99% of them are misogynists,of “Women must submit to.their husbands” variety.
get thee to a Unitarian Universalist church if you want a preacher who cares about people.
I am also not certain he has a soul, the main reason the devil wouldn’t strike a bargain with him.