“We Didn’t Have Guns. They Had Guns” = “Guilty On All Charges”

You know, it’s funny. When a quality criminal defense attorney like Danny Cevallos takes on a new client, the first thing he has with the new client is a Come to Jesus Moment. And that moment goes something like, Look, when we’re in court you have one job. Sit there and look innocent. Don’t roll your eyes, don’t toss your pencil, don’t pass me notes, and don’t lean over and whisper in my ear. Just sit there and look innocent, and let me do what you’re paying me for.

Sage advice, but not for an imbecile like Donald Trump. First of all, you couldn’t shut Traitor Tot up if you filled his mouth with Sakrete, he’d just learn sign language. And you sure as sh*t can’t shut him up when he’s running for President to try to keep his sorry fat ass out of prison. He’s unchained in the countryside, and pillaging the villages.

And that’s where we are today, and why Jack Smith’s job just got so much easier. If Traitor Tot loses the election on November 5th, by late next summer His Lowness will become Federal Convict #XXXXXXX. And he will have convicted himself once again by his own big fat mouth.

Ever since January 7th, El Pendejo ex Presidente has been steadfast that January 6th had nothing to do with him! Tens of thousands of American patriots showed up in Washington DC to protest The Big Steal! I spoke to the crowd, and told them to march to the Capitol to protest in an orderly and peaceful manner. I did nothing wrong. January 6th was a love fest! Which is fine if you didn’t watch it live on television or watch a replay.

But as time has gone by, and Trump’s ego has taken a continuous beating, the numbers have grown to biblical proportions, as displayed in his response in a town hall meeting this weekend on the subject, I did nothing wrong. There were hundreds of thousands of people there, the largest crowd I’ve ever spoken to, and it was a love fest. I told them to march orderly and peacefully to the Capitol to protest. Ashley Babbitt got shot. Nobody got shot. We didn’t have guns, they had the guns. 

OK, let’s unpack this stupid one part at a time. First of all, the Peach Penguin said that Ashley Babbitt got shot. Nobody got shot. That’s a physical impossibility too stupid to even have to contemplate. Trump claims that somebody got shot, but nobody got shot. What, there was a miraculous intervention? I remember seeing Ashley Babbitt being wheeled out, blood soaking the sheet.

But here’s the McGuffin that will have Traitor Tot modeling federal prison denim. Trump has spent almost four years totally distancing himself from the actions of the January 6th mob, but in the town hall he says We didn’t have guns. They had guns.

First of all, the they Traitor Tot was talking about was duly authorized law enforcement officers. Full stop. But the kill shot came first. We didn’t have guns.

That word we can only have one definition. Trump just tied himself with anchor chain to the mob he’s been claiming for almost four years now acted on their own. And now, in a publicly aired interview, which is admissible under law as evidence, he takes proprietary ownership of the mob with the single word we.

This is why experienced criminal defense attorneys tell their clients to just STFU! Especially in any situation where you could be overheard or recorded. Because you could be handing the prosecutors a 24k gold gift. But how does Traitor Tot run for President if he can’t open his mouth without incriminating himself in a public forum? Figure it out, sh*thead, and I’ll wave to you from receiving next fall.

I thank you for the privilege of your time.

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