It had to happen sooner or later, and I’m glad it happened sooner. Yesterday Special Counsel Jack Smith officially filed his appeal in front of the 11th US Circuit Court of Appeals seeking to overturn Kindergarten Judge Aileen Cannon’s moronic dismissal of the Florida documents case.
This should be a cakewalk. As former US Solicitor General Neal Katyal opined last night on MSNBC, Jack Smith could walk into the appellate court blindfolded, with both hands tied behind his back, and still win this with both hands tied behind his back. And according to most legal analysts he’s right. Cannon is so far out in the legal woods on this one she’s lost, and she doesn’t even realize that crows ate all those bread crumbs she kept dropping behind herself.
I wrote at the time of her original ruling that I thought that Cannon just wanted to get this blivet off of her desk. And little wonder. There’s nothing a circuit court judge hates more than being overturned on appeal. And in one misbegotten ruling, with less than four years under her belt, she not only got slapped down twice by the 11th Circuit Court of Appeals, she got taken to the judicial woodshed.
But that doesn’t change the fact that it was one helluve stupid move. She was clearly so far outside the judicial mainstream that she was almost guaranteed to be cuffed around by the appellate court, she could get yanked from the case. But it turns out now that there was method to her madness. She thought she had a judicial sugar daddy ready to cover her ditzy ass.
Ever since Traitor Tot packed a 6-3 Supreme Court majority, SCOTUS conservative douche nozzle and walking bribe machine Clarence Thomas has been letting his uber conservative freak flag fly. Whether in a consenting or dissenting opinion in rulings, Thomas has been tossing in poorly disguised doggie biscuits of persons decisions he would like to see revisited.
For instance, when the Supreme Court overturned Roe v Wade and sent it back to the individual states, Thomas slid in things like sodomy laws and the Obergfeld decision that he would like to see the Supreme court revisit with it’s shiny new, bought and sold majority. He’s done it more than once now.
Including the last time. When The Supreme Court gave Traitor Tot some limited immunity instead of the whole magilla like Thomas wanted, he slyly sent out the decoder ring message that he wasn’t at all sure that the Special Counsel had been constitutionally appointed in the first place.
To paraphrase Mama Gump, stupid minds think alike. And that coded chew toy was all that the Billy Joe’s Judicial College and Bait Shop graduate needed to hear.
It was the answer to all of her prayers. Come up with some lame, out-of-left-field bullsh*t legal nonsense to get this legal albatross off of her neck, then sit back and relax. Let the 11th Circuit do whatever it wanted. Trump would appeal to the Supreme court, and when Uncle Clarence cracked the whip, she’d not only show her loyalty and fealty to El Pendejo ex Presidente, for once it would be the 11th Circuit that took a trip to the judicial woodshed. Tic-tac-Toe.
But there’s just one small problem with this pie-in-the-sky wet dream of hers. Uncle Clarence doesn’t actually run the Supreme court. And lately he’s been on the losing side as often as the winning side, and his dissenting opinions are nothing more or less than self pitying whine fests.
But here’s the McGuffin. In this instance, even if Cannon’s moronic decision does get to the Supreme court, Clarence Thomas is going to be like a salmon trying to swim upstream to spawn, and man, that dude is too damn old and fat for that kind of sh*t.
The problem is that when it comes to the issue of a Special Counsel and the appointment process, Thomas is a man on an island two archipelagos to the right of Trump. It turns out that in their younger days, both Chief Justice Roberts, as well as Brewski Brett Kavanaugh have both come out four square behind both the appointment process as well as the constitutionality of the Special Counsel law.
And Jack Smith isn’t about to let them forget it. In fact, in his filing before the appellate court, Smith specifically mentioned both justices and their earlier decisions in his opening written argument. And if this sh*t show ever gets to the Supreme Court, and Roberts and Kavanaugh bother to read the initial filing document, they’re going to know that they’re looking a petard square in the eye. And if they don’t, you can bet your ass that one of their law clerks will bring it to their attention.
And the funny thing is, I don’t think that Smith really needs both of them, one will do. Because while she tends to run with the pack on basic conservative issues, Amy Coney Barrett has shown some mental stability, not blindly creating insane sh*t and making an ass of herself in her rulings. Even when she votes conservative, she often tempers her opinions with a restraining hand meant to rein in the madness. I find it hard to believe she’ll mar her reputation on such an obviously nonsensical case.
So there you have it. Traffic Court Judge Aileen Cannon thought she found the secret wormhole in the universe to success and acclaim. But if she actually puts any faith in a mongrel like Thomas without having a private jet available for his personal use, she’s even dumber than I thought she was. And with a third appellate court beatdown, affrimed by the Supreme court on her record in less than five years, her only chance of seeing the inside of an appellate courtroom would be if she was called in for a face-to-face dressing down. Get used to that dumpy courtroom babe, it’s your home for the next 40 years.
I thank you for the privilege of your time.
Secret decoder ring has that, uhm, certain ring to it, doesn’t it, Ginni? I mean, Aileen took it, hook line and sinker. She’s such a good disciple.
The loose cannon.
Going to some fat, crazy and stupid judge, even if he sits on a bench for which he has NO qualifications is, I hope, a career-ending move. The silly twit can try to appeal this to the s.c. but can’t the appellate court just remove her ass? I can’t imagine why they haven’t already-she is an embarrassment to their entire jurisdiction as this case so amply proves. If they are waiting for something really egregious before booting her off the case, well, her dismissal sure as sh*t fits the bill.