How Do You Make Up For The Worst VP Pick In History? Pick An Even Worse Surrogate

Little wonder Traitor Tot is having so much trouble, even controlling his own party. He’s devolving, to the point where he no longer listens to anybody, and while he circles the drain, he’s taking everything down in his vortex.

How di I know he’s losing his grip on the party. easy. Because fewer and fewer people, either in the party, or even in his own campaign give a sh*t what they say about him in public. His campaign staffers are like, Look, I’m already a bottom feeder. If he fires me, who’s he going to get to replace me? That’s why you have campaign staffers openly bitching to the media that he won’t drop the racist, sexist sh*t and stick on message. Now, reaching out to Trump sunliminally through FUX News is a time honored technique, but the subliminal messages were always positive messages suggesting, never overt bitching.

And now you’ve got stalwart toadies like Lindsey Graham going on the shows warning him that Trump the showman could blow this thing, and begging him to stick to the policies that made him popular in the first place. *snicker* Right. The only policies Trump ever put forward were insurance policies he was filing a damage claim against. And Nikki Haley rubbing his nose in it, basically saying, And you wonder how I snagged 20% from you in the primaries? Take a look in the mirror, fool! And now GOP incumbents are whining that Trump’s low energy rallies could start costing him actual base voters. Hey Trump! Jeb Bush called, he wants his nickname back!

Once Biden stepped aside for Harris, and the polls went into reverse, Trump campaign staff wistfully referred to the JD Vance pick for VP as an arrogant indulgence. I think they have a slightly different view today. Something more like F*cking brain dead!

Because as I wrote at the time, Vance violated the Hippocratic Oath of politics, First do no harm. Like a junior staffer in a large company, VP’s aren’t paid to think, they’re paid to fetch! It’s not his job to be brilliant, politically savvy, or entertaining, it’s his job to be the Messenger Boy in Chief. 

And you could see trouble brewing on that front even before the final selection was made. Vance got the job in the first place by being the wildest, most out of control, two faced MAGAt in the party. And he spouted all that insane sh*t every time he got in front of a microphone. But now, as the VP nominee, his sole job is to stand in behind a microphone, and say whatever the teleprompter tells him to say! And Vance keeps going off the reservation.

And I think I know why. When Vance got the nod, several analysts said that Trump picked Vance as his heir apparent, the one closest aligned to Trump’s views and policies. Bullsh*t! Vance stands for nothing. But now that he thinks he’s the heir apparent, Vance figures he might as well show the old dog how it’s done in his last campaign. And in so doing, he keeps placing Trump in untenable positions.

Vance has been blabbering even before he got the VP pick that if His Lowness gets back in, there will be a nationwide abortion ban, with or without congress. After idiotically saying in an interview a couple of weeks ago that I think that abortion will actually be a very small issue in the election, if at all, somebody on his staff must have read him a pop-up-book showing him how abortion could cost him critical swing states like NV, AZ, and even FL with pro abortion measures on the ballot. He’s been backpedaling ever since, but not Vance.

I don’t know whether today’s embarrassing spectacle on NBC’s Meet the Press was Trump being a tone deaf dumbass, or whether he wanted to try to bring Vance back on the leash. But he made him go on the air and patiently explain to Kristen Welker that even if a GOP congress passed a national abortion ban, Trump would veto it. Just by the plaintive look on his face, and the whine in his voce, you just knew that Vance would rather go back to a hillbilly shack than do this job.

Small comfort to El Pendejo ex Presidente. Ever since that cheesed*ck Chief Justice in Alabama put IVF onto the chopping block, that has been one trap that Il Douche has steadfastly refused to put his paw in. Vance on the other hand, has been all-in, pushing for a national ban on IVF, and even voting against IVF protection in the Senate. And as a result, with Vance firmly in their corner, far right Evangelicals have made it perfectly clear that they’re putting IVF on the ballot this year, whether the Cheeto Prophet wants it there or not. Et Tu JD, Et Tu?

So now you have Traitor Tot, already starved for worthy surrogates to preach the good word, and he can’t even count on his imbecile wingman. And Trump can’t keep doing this all himself, these private jets are costing him actual cash money! He’s gotta come up with a solution.

And the solution is? Pick the only nimrod bigger than Beggar Vance to be your new chief surrogate! After reportedly shopping his presidential endorsement to the Harris campaign, which sent him packing with double barrel birds, RFK Jr. landed on the Trump campaign doorstep. Where he promptly made a mark out of the con man. Kennedy apparently promised Trump that he wouldn’t put his name on swing state ballots which he was already disqualified from. The only thing RFK had to sell the Democrats was nothing, which is why they blew him off. And the only thing he had to sell Trump was that he’d try to give Trump back some of the voters that he had stolen from him. But being down 4-0 in the 7th inning, Traitor Tot was willing to bunt to get to first base.

This can’t get worse. RFK Jr. is nothing but a cheap opportunist with no more morals than Vance. But Trump actually called him up on the stage at his rally in Phoenix, there he lavished praise on him. Meanwhile, Kennedy stood there, lavishing in the praise and applause as if it was his birthright.

Look, RFK Jr. is Trump without the persona and the cult following. When he made his announcement endorsing Trump, RFK Jr. spent more time wailing about a conspiracy theory about the media sinking his campaign by colluding with the Democrats to keep him off the debate stage than he did praising Trump. The only thing RFK knows about Trump is that Trump has more supporters than he does. And any spotlight is good spotlight.

Trump’s problem is, and I think it’s hilarious is, what the hell does he do with RFK Jr.? He can’t campaign with RFK Jr., if he does, he’ll blather away so long that Trump will have to call security to put a hand around his mouth and hustle him off stage, so Trump can have the microphone back.

And if he lets him out on his own, it’s potentially even worse. Imagine RFK Jr. in front of an audience in a swing district in Pennsylvania, rambling away in free association mode, before regaling the crowd with the revelation that it was actually him that had dumped that whale on the beach in New York all those years ago as a goof, leaving the city to blow the thing up in order to get rid of it. Think that may make up a few undecided minds?

This shows you just how desperate Traitor Tot is, and how far he’s devolved. RFK Jr. has absolutely nothing to offer Trump and the campaign. He’s a sad, pathetic, mentally deficient conspiracy theorist, driven by the same motivation as Trump. The spotlight and a microphone. The Democrats are already going to have a field day with the entire weird comparison. The only question is Is he stupid enough to actually give RFK Jr. that microphone, and in so doing ensure that Kamala Harris wins in enough of a blowout that challenges are futile? Either way I’m as happy as a pig in slop. As Robin Williams once opined, It’s a great world, but it’s a strange culture.

I thank you for the privilege of your time.

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