The old phrase is, He’s so lucky he could fall into a sh*thouse, and come up a Rolex. And that’s what’s happening for the Democrats right now. They could step in front of a bus, and it would fall on its side.
Just look at the last 24+ hours. I hope the United Center in Chicago has those repairs done in time for the Blackhawks home opener in October, because the DNC blew the roof off. And now, before they can even get back on the trail, the GOP keeps throwing them prime time nuggets to keep the pressure and spotlight on the GOP. Most delegates and party official’s Akla Seltzer hadn’t even kicked in this morning when they were greeted by;
- Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Once the balloons dropped last night, Traitor Tot immediately dialed up the FUX News coverage team, and went live with a 10 minute Trumper tantrum. He’d still be at it if Bret Bair hadn’t rather abruptly hut him off mid sentence so that Gutfeld could start on time following the coverage
- Imbecile, thy name is Vance. If you’ve had the tv on at all today, especially to the news, you can’t have missed this one, it’s been on every hour. It was pathetic. Vance, with his hands in his pockets, scuffling around the floor looked exactly like the nerd from the chess club trying to ask the Prom Queen out on a date. It was so sad that the girl behind the counter wouldn’t even allow her face to be shown, they had to fuzz it out before airing. I’m pretty sure that Mrs. Vance buys the donuts, picks up the dry cleaning, and stands outside the door of the men’s room at the gas station. Just in case he falls in
- Leave it to MSNBC to gild the lily. During Alex Wagner’s show, after showing the Vance debacle, they showed some footage they dug up of Tim Walz stopping in at a fast food place in a small town in Nebraska over the weekend for lunch. The dude behind the counter recognized Walz, reached over to shake hands, then everybody behind the counter had to come out for a handshake. They chattered like magpies until the counter guy brought out two boxes with Walz’s haul and they left. Somehow I don’t think that Gwen Walz feels the need to check her husband’s zipper and heels before he leaves the house in the morning
Sweet Jesus. This was supposed to be a day of showing off the highlights of the last four days while people go home and retool, and instead we get primo footage of His Lowness getting cut off by FUX News like a heavy breather on a phone call, and every host talking about The Dork From 40 Fathoms. Friday night, and the Democrats are already golden with the media through the weekend.
But wait! There’s more! This is El Pendejo ex Presidente we’re talking about, and he isn’t about to be outshone by his hillbilly imbecile falling off of his bike with the training wheels on. With Trump, everything has to be Biggest! Bestest! and Stupidest! Which means he has to do it all by himself. Although, as the Beatles once sang, He gets by with a little help from his friends.
As I wrote a day or so ago, all purpose nimrod RFK Jr. announced today that he was suspending his campaign. Kinda. Almost. Sorta? In a rambling free association rant we’ve become used to from the moron he’s throwing his support behind, here, see if you can figure it out.
RFK Jr. announced that he was suspending his campaign, but only in the swings states that were hotly contested. If you live in a deep red or blue state, go ahead and vote for Kennedy, since it wouldn’t hurt the chances of either Harris or Trump. But if you’re in a swing state, vote for Il Douche. I don’t get it. Maybe this way he can still try to fundraise to lower his hellish campaign debt? Then he stuck his own shiv in, saying that Trump had asked him to take a cabinet level position in his administration. That one I know! He’s going to be the Secretary of the ministry of silly walks.
It was Larry Sabato, the polling guru at the University of Virginia, and chief of The Crystal Ball that summed it up perfectly. It’s a useless gesture designed for no other reason than to generate press for himself. He has always hurt Trump more than Biden. And once Harris got into the race, all of the dual haters flocked to her. All that’s left is Trump friendly voters. I think that in the fallout, Harris will pick up some voters, Trump will pick up a few voters, but the largest bloc will be the “Sofa Voters” who just won’t bother to show up at all in November.
Seriously, just think about this for a moment. In The Blues Brothers 2000, Elwood told the band, Go ahead and go, I can’t blame you. I guess I’ve already dragged you guys about as far down into the mud as it’s possible to go. To see just how far down into the sludge The Cheeto Prophet has dragged his flock, consider this:
- On the one hand, you have a candidate who is an original birther, an anti vaxxer advocating against a vaccine his government was creating, an election denier, and a guy who incited a violent insurrection on January 6th
- And on the other hand, you have a rabid anti vaxxer, Q-Anon award winning conspiracy theorist, who could only get press by talking about his affairs, brain eating worms, and staging a bike vs bear cub accident in Central park. And this ass clown is endorsing the other ass clown!
Who is GRATEFUL for the endorsement! Trump actually introduced and shouted out Kennedy at his rally in Phoenix tonight, profusely complimenting him and welcoming his endorsement.
Dear Lord, why not just let the Harris campaign start making your ads for you, it’s only fair since you’re making hers for her. Just a quickie. Alternate Trump and Kennedy, Trump: Obama is a Kenyan born Muslim. Kennedy: They’re coming to take away your guns! Trump: Maybe we could like, I don’t know, inject bleach to get rid of Covid? Kennedy: I’m lucky to be alive. Worms tried to eat my brain. Trump: The 2020 election was stolen! Kennedy: I tossed a dead bear cub in the middle of Central Park. My name is Kamala Harris, and I approve this commercial.
Truth be told, while the Democratic convention was incredible, it was a big pain in my ass. Everything was Democrats, Democrats, Democrats! I had to go scrounging around to try to find some actual stupidity to give you guys. Thank God we can go back to normal again.
I thank you for the privilege of your time.
My sympathy for the RFK JR worm. It was looking for a meal and came up empty. And it’s not going to have much better luck with Il Douche.
As for the bear, RFK Jr is already road kill. Sometimes the bear eats you.
Are you familiar with the Brain Slugs from “Futurama?”
In one episode, “Raging Bender,” one of the Brain Slugs attaches itself to Fry. At the end of the episode, Amy notices Fry doesn’t have the Brain Slug anymore and asks what happened to it, to which the Professor picks up the lifeless mass and says, “Poor little guy starved to death.”
I just imagine replacing the animated Philip J Fry with the equally cartoonish Robert F Kennedy, Jr, and you’d have the Professor picking up a lifeless Brain Slug and reacting the same way.
Who dresses these guys in the am? Someone has to make sure their underwear or depends aren’t backward, the shirt buttons line up, and the shoes get tied. Clearly neither of them are capable of such high level cognitive skills. Tweedle dee and tweedle DUMB. Sorry Murf…John Cleese has set a high bar for Secretary of Ministry of Silly Walks. Maybe bathroom attendant. Call him the Defense Minister of Evacuation. The Procurement Minister of Urinal Cakes. The Administrative Director of Toilet Paper Squares. The National Director of Road Kill Removal. Hell, we have time to sort it out. What a world! Glad you now have material to work with. All those goddamn happy people at the DNC didn’t give you much to work with.
…DJT and RFKJr are more like Tweedle-dum and tweedle-DUMBER…..
😁😁😁😁😁
The worms go in. The worms do put. The worms play Pinochle on him about. 🎶
Oops! Worms *go out* 🤢
Double oops! On *his snout* (Doh! 😖)