I love the smell of snark in the morning. It smells like Trump humiliation. The good folks of Hubbard, Oregon, population 3,246, elected Donald Trump via a write-in ballot, to sit on their Rural Fire Protection board. In all truth? If Trump had started out in politics this way, he may have actually amounted to something other than the punchline of a joke.
Yes, Donald Trump has been elected to the Hubbard Rural Fire Protection district board. He just has to move there to be able to take office. pic.twitter.com/cSN3IHqCLJ
— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) June 30, 2023
Now what’s truly comical is that Trump didn’t win the election fair and square. Lady Chance took a hand.
The Statesman Journal reports the former president was among the write-in candidates in the race for the Hubbard Rural Fire Protection District in Western Oregon.
Twenty-five votes were cast in the May 16 special district election. Trump and four other write-in candidates each ended up tied with two votes. Everyone else got one or zero.
Hubbard Fire Chief Michael Kahrmann told the newspaper that Trump won the election thanks to a dice roll-off.
But because he doesn’t live there or own property in the district, another one of the candidates will likely get the job. Still, the district will reach out to him to see if he wants the job.
We’ll see if Trump decides to move to Hubbard, or even if he acknowledges his “win.” I sense a wicked Democratic sense of humor behind all this. Or, maybe it was totally sincere and the folks who voted for Trump were greatly impressed on his forest raking concepts. We may never know. This may remain another great unsolved mystery, like who built the pyramids.
As a former resident, I’m glad Oregonians stopped throwing innocent citizens in prison as political prisoners, and have taken a serious approach to their real problems. Another win for a state who’s liberal reputation in the rest of the nation is total horsesh*t. FACT. Ken Kesey was the greatest product of the backwoods of Oregon. Either you’re on the bus or off the bus. Most of the citizens never even heard of the most famous bus trip in American history. RIP Ken. As Don McClean sang in Vincent…you tried to set them free…but they did not listen. They’re not listening still. Hell…most want a goddamn new phone. Phuck freedom…it’s just too damn scary.
I’ve lived in Oregon the better part of my life Scott and I agree to some degree with your overall comments. Most of rural Oregon is about as MAGA as it gets but the cities are what keep it a perennial blue state. Californians who were under a 3 strikes and your out criminal code at the time I lived there were surprised to learn that Oregon was a draconian one strike state. Since been repealed but it was a really rough time for young people. You could get a mandatory 5 year sentence for throwing a beer can at somebody. But regarding Trump and the Hubbard fired board gig, I admit I had to look Hubbard up on the map and based on where it is, it might be a tongue in cheek situation though you can’t be sure with town that small. Pretty funny either way though.
My mind is going full Hedley Lamar with poetic expressions (for nonsencical scheming) with possibilities. Trump challenging the results – VOTER FRAUD! Only getting two votes is going to sting his ego, as well as being TIED with four others who got two votes. He’ll talk about rigged voting machines, millions of votes for him that didn’t get counted or were diverted from him to other candidates and so on. Oh, and the very best lawyers will get out there and prove it! Best of all, we can count on a whole new addition to the MyPillow crazy from Lindell.
Here’s another possibility. Trump’s ego might prompt him to want to accept being “elected” even if to something so small. He could after all use a win, any type of win these days. However, being Trump he will insist that because he was President he can decree special rules for himself and therefore is entitled to all the “stature” of his new position without having to move to some town in the middle of “Nowhere Couny” Oregon.
That’s just off the top of my head. Hope others will take up my challenge to create more stuff out of this we can make fun of.
He’ll probably think he got the job because of how well he says “You’re fired”.
What with it being a fire board.
Do the members of the fire board go to areas while they are burning? If that is the case his ass might just get jump-started to hell.
Awe the smell of burnt Trump in the morning. To good to be true. It would have to be one hell of a fire to get that piece of lard to burn. Of course it would be dangerous. Once you got the tub of lard burning you wouldn’t be able to put it out.