1 Can of paint + 1 brush + 1 floor = Trump in a corner

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What is your major malfunction numb nuts? Didn’t your mother hold you enough when you were a child?   Drill instructor Sargent Hartmann   Full Metal Jacket

Having Trump take a road trip, especially to a summit, is like going away for the weekend when you have teenagers. As nice as it is to get away for a few days, once you get back you know it’s going to take a week to make the place livable again.

Trump at the G-7 is not working out so well. For starters, everybody else in the family is treating him like the kid that they rather reluctantly let out of the corner for drinking from the toilet again. And then, Iran, you know, the aunt who thinks he’s an unruly brat who needs some serious discipline, shows up to rain on his parade as well. When a representative of a repressive theocracy gets treated like a rock star by everybody else in the room, because at least they think that they can talk sense with him, you wasted your time bothering to go.

But there has been news concerning the US coming from the G-7 summit. For instance, today Trump announced a new trade deal “in principle” with Japan. First of all, we’re not in a trade war with Japan, so big whoop-de-do! Like all things with international diplomacy, the devil is in the details, and an agreement “in principal” has fewer details than a Trump infrastructure plan, whichever week it is. An agreement in principle is like going on a first date. you know the likely outcome is going to be a handshake, but even if there’s a kiss at the end, it’s no tongues. Especially coming from a guy who wrote the Nobel committee to tell them you deserved a peace prize. How can you take his word on anything?!?

But the bigger news coming from the G-7 summit is Trump’s rather startling admission that he’s having second thoughts about his trade war with China. Yes, that was a banquet room size tray of dirty dishes you just heard hitting the floor. Of course, the White House is on its hind legs, trying to back Trump down from this ledge, claiming he was “misinterpreted.” I’m not sure how else you can interpret somebody basically saying “Maybe I fucked up.”

No matter how you slice it, this is messaging at its worst, and a terrible gaffe from Trump. If another country declares a trade war on you, then you’re the innocent party, but once you’re in a trade war, you’re in it to win it. And if you declared the trade war, then the other country wasn’t playing by the rules, which makes you the innocent party, but as long as you’re in that trade war, you’re in it to win it.

This is where Trump the President falls apart at the seams as opposed to Trump the failed businessman. In an identical situation in the business world, having painted himself into a corner by his own stupidity, Trump would simply yell for someone to roll a red carpet over to him, and strut across it directly into bankruptcy court. That isn’t an option here.

Maybe my memory is faulty, but isn’t Trump the one who stood out on the south lawn of the White House a couple of days ago, gazed into the heavens, and loudly proclaimed that he was the “Chosen One” to deal with China? So, what, God chose the wrong fucking guy? Geez, he’s even got a Chinese wingnut religion that thinks he’s the “second coming,” sent to smash communism and he could fix it. So, why isn’t he fixing it? How much more help does he need?

But here’s where this is a killer for Trump, especially heading into a general election. Going back to the primaries, Trump has pounded home the fact that China has been screwing us for decades, and he alone could fix it. So, why isn’t he fixing it? You mean this trade war isn’t the solution? Then what is?

Farmers, especially farmers in critical states for Trump, like Iowa, Wisconsin, Ohio, Michigan and Indiana are taking a shave and a haircut in Trump’s trade war. His bailouts are not going to cover all of their losses, and now they have no idea of what to plant for next year, or how much of it. Besides, they don’t want handouts, they want to sell the crops they worked so hard to grow. I can already smell every Democratic candidate for any seat in a farm state, let alone presidential candidates, quoting Trump’s waffling on his trade war with China word for word, right before launching into a litany of the pain these farmers have suffered due to Trump’s incompetence, and their laundry list of Democratic solutions. The 30 second spots practically write themselves for rural American markets.

Every time I see Trump stumbling around like he’s 6 years old and wearing his father’s shoes, I’m constantly reminded of the old movie line, “You let Beetlejuice out, and you didn’t put him back!” That’s how his handlers in the West Wing have to be feeling right now. When you have Steve Munchkin and Larry Kudzu trying to make sense of your economic policies, you may as well throw up your arms and yell “Uncle!” But there is positive news for Trump, he did pick up a major endorsement. “Trump 2020.” The only candidate endorsed by Falun Fucking Gong!”

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