This article originally appeared in Rawstory:
Donald Trump would not be president today were it not for the White, straight, Christian, American man – the less educated, the better. Any remaining arguments on men having built this country or any variation thereof have been rendered moot by the fact that men may have ushered in an organized crime administration quickly selling it off for parts.
Indeed, white American men are the only group that still retains over 50% approval of a president, hitting record lows of disapproval in the low 30s when everyone is taken together, but even that now carries a caveat: American men with college degrees are now finally under 50% in approval. It is fair to blame white American men (Many of them) for Trump’s rise and the resulting damage. And while women, people of color, LGBTQs, immigrants, have gotten us 95% of the way in pulling Trump back, it’s possible that a sub 50% approval from men may hasten an inevitable fall.
Signs are everywhere that men aren’t falling for the old “toxic masculinity” that seemed to draw them to Trump like flies to left-open macaroni salad.
What better place for it to start but in Texas. Everything is big in Texas, including requisite SAT sco… Excuse me, “T-scores,” previously seen as entry-level requirements in Texas politics.
James Talarico is not yet held up as the ultimate man’s man in the U.S., never mind Texas, but he is moving in that direction. He recoils from all the giggly MAGA adolescent stuff that seemed to define manhood under Trump, one in which assaulting women – or girls – was accepted because a man claims what he wants (per Trump), and it was all kinda funny anyway; “look at the libs going insane,” giggle giggle. Indeed, look at Talarico; Paxton’s MAGAs should be able to mow him down.
But not only have some men been changing; Texas has been changing a while. And maybe what’s big in Texas nowadays is a heart.
Oh, Ken’s krewe is trying, going after Talarico’s status as unmarried (long-term girlfriend, though)- no tradwife alongside to blush and look at him with “take me to bed eyes.” Paxton’s first ad against Talarico implied that the 34-year-old Talarico “suffered from ‘Low-T'” – which is patently absurd as to both wild guess and relevancy. After all, looking at Paxton, his corruption and multiple affairs on the record, Talarico’s response might be “If ‘T’ plays any role in behavior, I’m going to stick to my lane and not check it, whatever it might be, over trying to live life at Paxton-Level T-Choices.”
It becomes both tragic comedy and parable when one understands that all these attacks on Talarico’s manhood (however defined) all boil down to the only strategy Texas MAGAs have in attempting to sway attention away from Paxton – a man’s man – and his horrific scandals and abysmal performance. (A Republican A.G. was impeached by the Republican State House.)
The strategy just isn’t working, or at least not well enough. No, Talarico will never be accused of being another Obama, basketball-playing, tough-talking, working out, very much the trad wife with the… Out of respect for the former First Lady, we say, “I so love you eyes.” But what Talarico does share with the former president is the single most valuable commodity a candidate can have, especially a man (Since it seems to come more naturally to women, who may be stronger in this area). Talarico, like Obama before him, is comfortable in his own skin – perhaps the sine qua non for “real man” status. He simply doesn’t care what they say about him: even posing as supposedly low-T, with no mid-range jump shot, no doing shots with the boys at the country club on Sunday. He’s fine.
Ask him. He lit a flamethrower lately in response to the Low-T stuff, telling Paxton that guys his age don’t really get caught up in that stuff… Ouch. Paxton may spend a week off the trail with a psychological and political concussion.
But this is vastly broader than a Texas Senate race. Compare the “manhood” on display in New York City, as Mayor Mandani seems content to redefine manhood in his position as being someone intelligent, articulate, and caring for the kids and the workers in his city; and doing so without apology. Whereas Donald Trump believed a “real man” had to conquer real estate and business in the most exclusive clubs of mid-town Manhattan, Mandani feels comfortable enough with who he is to ignore those self-important folks and instead concentrate on waiters, trash men, snow shovelers, working New Yorkers, securing libraries, controlling rents, the things good men (and women and non-binary) do to improve the lives of others.
Much of this has to be the inevitable blowback over Trump worshipping overwhelming stereotypical “high-T” or toxic masculinity, going all the way back to “grab ’em by the pussy,” to the pics of him palling around with Epstein- grading fawning women (“She an 8” – a game I last remember playing at about age 11-12) hired to show them a good time. Even without predation on children, not a single part of this is an indication of manhood so much as adolescence, like someone gave 14 year old boys a few hundred thousand dollars to pay 20 year old cheerleaders to throw themselves at them). Meanwhile, Trump famously threw plates against the wall, enjoys hanging around his increasingly “old man haunt” golf clubs where the guys’ guys hang out, brag, and pinch some 22-year-old waitress girl’s ass – all in good fun. Oh, and then there are the sexual assault allegations that hang like a cloud over everything Trump does, and seem to regularly pop up in the men Trump installs around him, Hegseth, Lutnick, et. al.
It goes well beyond Talarico and Trump.
Other Democratic men also set a new standard – well, it’s not “new”; it’s the old standard retaking the mantle. Senator Mark Kelly flew fighter jets, then flew the Space Shuttle, then flew in to be Hall of Fame husband to his gunned-down wife, Gabbie Giffords, holding her hand through recovery, as devoted as ever, now a powerful Senator who some see as a possible presidential candidate: deeply cerebral, kind, humble – you know, a man’s man (and what women want, or some I’m told), except coming from that left side, to which more men gravitate, at least the educated.
Pete Buttigieg has been another “comfortable in his own skin” guy from the beginning, and someone who can lasso a bad argument and have that calf tied and on the ground “figuratively,” in a way that leaves an air of masculinity hanging over the proceedings. Anyone doubting it really should watch Republicans walk out of the conference room saying maybe they still disagree with him, but “I like that guy.” Yeah, they’re used to liking guys taking the initiative, and Pete can do that, with issues- and they never get around to asking themselves how a gay man can pull it off. Education and comfort in his own skin help. Oh! There’s that, and being gay doesn’t matter in the slighest, but we’ll move on.
By the way, none of this would make any difference if Democrats weren’t willing to take care of their own and toss “pseudo men” trying to play “alpha male” in all the wrong ways. It took all of two weeks to go soup to nuts with Eric Swalwell and Maine prospect Graham Platner.
We even admire the real men who stand beside their “trad-wife” wrecking ball in the Senate and House. Nothing says, “I don’t need to prove myself,” more than radiating pride in the woman you married as she maneuvers the halls of power in Washington. We will use Sen. Professor Elizabeth Warren’s husband, Bruce Mann, an accomplished legal scholar and historian, as just one easy off-the-shelf example.
This really isn’t about the true definition of manhood so much as the true definition of a caring, thinking, sensitive, deeply curious, and committed adult, of any gender or non binary gender – nothing could matter less when the issue is “Who most looks like someone who can handle a problem,” which – as we’ve seen all too many times, is usually not the guy saying “shut up, Piggy,” to a women and “swapping stories about perhaps swapping” at the club, in favor of a Talarico, able to stand up and say, “Call me a vegan, call me low-T, call me whatever you want until you get tired, and then we’ll pick up on me asking you why you seem to commit a felony a week and continue to act like it’s your right. Is that manhood? I don’t think so.” (Not a real quote but close enough.)
The good news is that the public is turning away from toxicity, from masculinity or any source (and it is wide-ranging). None of these late arrivals are to be congratulated. After all, some of the loudest protests coming out of the “Grab ’em” Access Hollywood tape became some of the strongest supporters (Looking at you, V.P. J.D.) Some of men’s waning support may be due to policies and results that are simply less supportable; thus the “man’s man” joking about women and the inferior “men” on the Left becomes less funny.
Incredible we’ve gotten this far with so many good men we’ve left out standing up on the left: Warnock, Schiff, Lieu, Ossoff, Raskin, Murphy, and many, many, more, good guys all – not a single one of them trying to outdo you in manhood (Good thing for anyone approaching Rev. Senator Warnock, who looks like he could quote scripture, then monetary policy, knock you on your ass, and finally help a blind person across the street.) It’s also important to note that everything else is harder for women: double standards, glass ceilings, needing to look young and attractive, all of it. But women do pull off being comfortable in their own skin admirably well and at a better rate than most men.
Talarico is going to be fine. Ultimately, the definition of being a real man is pretty well the same as that of a self-actualized woman, comfortable in who they are, working daily on things that matter to them, sensitive to understanding your concerns, with precious little to prove to anyone other than the people who hired them to do a job.
Sounds pretty manly, or simple adulting.
No wonder some white, straight, Christian, American men are finally coming around. You can’t be too hard on these guys. After all, waiting till the very end and holding on as long as possible has served them pretty well for a long time… Yeah, okay, be as hard on them as you’d like. Just don’t make them feel like they should be ashamed for finally voting correctly for a change, lest they don’t vote Dem at all.
Cynics out there are right, to a point. But it’s also best to leave a small crack in the door open to growth, maturation, learning – kinda what life is supposed to be about. It’s never too late to mature… except for the case of “men” who prefer acting like adolescent boys with a lot of money and fawning girls.
For them, it was always too late because they never stood a chance at being truly comfortable in who they were or true in anything.
Jason Miciak is a Rawstory columnist, former editor at Occupy Democrats, author, political consultant, attorney, and single parent – girldad. Please follow on Bluesky, and he can be reached at [email protected]
Excellent points all around Jason, thank you. I like the thought that finally, that last demographic group might be coming around.