Take ninety seconds and get caught up on the latest devolution of MAGA and the Trump clan, two subsets representing the end of American life as we know it. The last time MAGA lurched backwards several steps on the evolutionary scale was with the election of Mike Johnson. You remember Mike Johnson, he’s the guy who thinks that Noah was loading two of every kind of dinosaur onto the Biblical Arc, some 5,500 hundred years ago, when the earth was new. If that struck you as self parody, wait, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. This tops that.
Catch these two clips. The first one makes complete sense. Yes, folks, how could it be anyone other than Lara Trump to take MAGA to self parody? This is the woman who believes that she would be the next Dolly Parton, at least, but for the fact that there’s a vast left-wing conspiracy out to hide her musical gifts. No, Lara, you don’t need our help doing that. You have amply managed to conceal any musical talent you might possess all on your own. To save our souls, nobody can find it. And believe us, we’ve tried to keep an open mind about this, but the fact that the dogs start screaming in pain every time you sing was the bridge too far. That said, at least Lara plays with her curls silently, not singing, let us give thanks for that small favor.
#Barbie #Lara #Trump #Stars #Swifties
With Taylor Swift given Time Magazine's "Person of the Year" award, MAGA is furious & having their own tryouts.pic.twitter.com/moBCnL65c6
— The Clear Cider 🦋 (@TheClearCider) December 12, 2023
Yes, friends, it’s the Barbie allusions that have us concluding that the point of self parody has been reached and there ain’t no going back. Barbie is woke, Lara. So now MAGA is woke as well? Or something?
Anyhow, make your checks out to Cult Trump Ministries Eric and Lara Trump, they’ll take your money, or you can send the cash to Junior and Kimberly, they’ll know what to do with it. And make no mistake, Donald Senior really needs cash. After all, he has to pay expert witnesses more in an hour than a lot of folks make in two weeks at a regular job, seriously. He paid his NYU financial expert, Eli Bartov, $1,350 an hour for 650 hours of work and for $877,500 the good professor declared that Donald Trump was transparent in his reports. At least that’s what he said on Friday, he’s getting back on the stand again tomorrow. Let’s see how he holds up under cross-examination, shall we now? That’s when it always gets comical.
$40,000,000 was only the beginning. Trump’s niece, Mary, keeps up on these things and this is what she’s concluded:
2. The FEC could force Donald to pay back every dollar of donor money he uses:
Donald is receiving donations to his PAC, and then using that money for legal fees and expert witnesses. That is sketchy as hell.
The FEC could hear a case at any time to examine whether this is a legitimate use of campaign funds. With the costs he’d be forced to pay back, that would be devastating to him.
3. Spending millions on witnesses has BACKFIRED on Donald… spectacularly:
On Friday, Letitia James dropped the bombshell that Donald’s expert witnesses actually helped HER case and hurt his. 😂
She explained that Donald’s own witnesses proved his statement of financial condition was neither “proper nor reasonable.” One of his witnesses, an accounting professor, admitted “the value of Donald Trump’s triplex was inflated.”
Recent estimates say Donald has spent upwards of $37 Million of PAC money for his legal fees. Considering he’ll likely owe $250 Million after his fraud case is over, Donald will find himself BROKE.
The operant principle here is actually quite simple and it is this: You can’t teach an old dog (especially a stupid old dog) new tricks. Donald only knows about filing harassment suits and settling them, or alternatively, being sued and then wearing down his adversaries to where they settle eventually.
But criminal trials don’t work that way. There is no price tag that Trump can come up with. This isn’t like bribing an assistant D.A. in Manhattan so Junior and Ivanka don’t get busted, this is a trifle more complicated than that. Letitia aka Peekaboo James is playing for keepsies. She wants a hell of a fine from Trump and she wants the Trumps gone from New York State. She will see that come to pass in 2024, I feel certain.
And meanwhile everybody else is going to find out how Donald is really the Broke Billionaire Bloke. Talk about the emperor being naked, in Donald’s case, he won’t be able to afford any new clothes.
Better sell a lot of those $47.00 pink MAGA hats, Lara. That might be the only inheritance you and Eric see. And how’s that kid of yours doing, the one you sent driving his go cart in a hurricane so he “could learn character?” Seen him lately?
Well known Thousandaire DJT might not even have that left.
I suspect Fat Donnie has some cash stowed away in a Swiss bank account or maybe in the Cayman’s. Possibly only a hundred million or so, but enough to live on lavishly for the few years he has remaining. Sadly,,Eric and DJ won’t have anything to inherit. Javanka have that lovely Saudi cash.