Kristi Noem: South Dakota’s Santos?

South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem has been providing yet another object lesson of the old adage “Be careful what you wish for.” With hopes of becoming Trump’s VP pick, and one day parlaying that into herself occupying the Oval Office Noem wanted the spotlight to shine on her. She even put out a “look at ME” book intended to show everyone how awesome she was. Well, she got the spotlight. It was shall we say less than flattering. Not only did the bright spotlight of Presidential politics reveal Noem wasn’t ready for prime time, it’s showing more and more each day she should have stayed as far away as possible from it!

Since you’re here on Politizoom you follow political stuff. Even people who don’t pay much attention to politics have learned more than they ever wanted about Noem’s callous, downright cruel treatment of her dog Cricket.  Of taking him to a gravel pit on their farm and murdering him by shooting him in the face, literally blowing his head off with a shotgun. This wasn’t “leaked” by some nearby workers who witnessed the incident. Nope, she wrote about it in the book meant to show Trump and the country she was ready for the big-time. To be a heartbeat away from the Presidency.

Well, she shot and killed poor Cricket for not being what she considered a good dog but she wasn’t done shooting. While she was at it she decided to lead a goat she described as nasty and smelly to the same gravel pit and kill it too.  Only she botched the job, and had to go fetch additional shotgun shells to finish off the goat. Noem wasn’t done shooting however. As I said this story wasn’t leaked by those nearby who saw it all happen, but because she went and shot off her mouth about it in her book! I guess she wanted to project a “tough” image, an unhesitating willingness to “make tough decisions” and “take tough action.”

Reaction to this “blurb” sent out to increase interest in her book before next week’s official release was revulsion and horror. Adding details like “I  hated that dog” and noting her daughter’s perplexed question of “where’s Cricket?” when she got home from school didn’t help. So Noem tried to do damage control and she keeps stepping further into the giant $hitpile she made. Cricket at least in Noem’s retelling has morphed from an excitable and too energetic dog into an “untrainable” dog, an untrainable “working” (hunting) dog, a livestock (yes, when she let Cricket escape from the car at the neighbor’s he killed some chickens. And chickens qualify as livestock) to a dog that tried to bite her, to a dog that did bite her, to a “danger” to her children. Cujo in real life. Who knows what she’ll say next about poor Cricket.

Now, all of that is truly awful and not at all good for Noem’s political future. However as much as this particular excerpt from her book stands out other blurbs are coming out and they’re raising questions of their own.  Newser has an article that discusses a couple of them and I’m betting it’s a sign of (not good) things to come when the book finally comes out.  It seems Noem is making up stories to make herself into a bigger deal than she was back during her days as a Congress Critter. SHOCKING! Just kidding. Politicians have been fudging details to pad their resumes since long before I was born.  Some are maddeningly competent, even good at it and some are not. As we can see Noem falls squarely in the second group. Newser cites a report from the Dakota Scout, going on to say:

Noem writes in No Going Back about meeting Kim Jong Un while serving on the House Armed Services Committee from 2013 to 2015 and about canceling a meeting with French President Emmanuel Macron after he “made what I considered a very pro-Hamas and anti-Israel comment to the press.” Macron’s office said he never had a meeting scheduled with Noem. Meanwhile, a dozen Capitol Hill staffers said they’d never heard of Noem meeting Kim. “It’s bullshit,” said one who worked on the committee at the time in question.

To be sure, it was easier in the old days before there was an internet and social media which could use said internet to do some real-time fact checking. Because of that, higher level politicians have interns monitoring for mention of their name so they can respond if need be should they get linked to something/someone unfavorable. And debunk it if it’s entirely false. I’ll get to that one but first let’s talk about Noem meeting North Korea’s Kim.

Let’s face it, that’s some George Santos level stuff. Maybe she’ll have aides spread “background” about how during her time on the House Armed Services Committee she got hold of the training manuals for an Air Force jet that could fly to North Korea. And some service manuals too. And procedures for arranging mid-air refuelings. Like Jared Kushner learning how to solve conflict in the middle east by reading some books she read up on how to sneak onto an Air Force base, “borrow” a jet and fly across the Pacific! Like I said, we’re talking George Santos level bullshitting here.

What did they talk about I wonder?  Maybe Noem was the linchpin of his meeting up with Kim and the groundwork was laid back before Trump even announced his candidacy.  (If Noem weren’t so busy making the Cricket story worse with each retelling she could have been teasing the details of being responsible for the Trump/Kim summit) Experts agree Kim never left his country between 2011 and 2018, nor were there any Congressional visits to North Korea. But somehow, at least Noem would have us believe she did manage to go meet him.  Sure Kristi. Just like Cricket was the most huge, vicious puppy dog ever!

Still, in addition to what’s in the book she spoke about it to local reporters. As the linked article indicates Noem told the Scout(which couldn’t find any record of any Congressional level meeting with Kim):

 Noem mentions the supposed meeting while remarking that “I had the chance to travel to many countries to meet with world leaders.” Of Kim, she writes, “I’m sure he underestimated me, having no clue about my experience staring down little tyrants (I’d been a children’s pastor, after all).”

It’s hard to say how this would have played in her lobbying Trump for the Veep slot. On the one hand he might have believed her and admired her gumption. On the other he might have believed her and been upset at her for not seeing Kim in the glowing light Trump has held him. Our very own Murfster might, if he gets a chance weigh in on that since he risks his own sanity spending too much time in Trump’s head trying to figure him out. In the end it’s one  helluva tall tale and if the furor over murdering Cricket for being an over-energetic puppy dies down by next week this will get a lot more scrutiny.

As for her touting her “diplomacy” chops and “meeting” with France’s Macron, again it’s quite the tall tale that’s Santos level in audacity. Complete with HER cancelling on HIM. What, you had better things to do Kristi? Maybe sneak away for a tryst with fellow Trump fluffer Corey Lewandowski? (Yep, she might talk the talk and present the image to her voters of a devoted with and mom she she and Lewandowski had an affair) Or someone else? Maybe you think touting a meeting you set up with a world leader, a major ally then bailing makes you look bigly cool and important. Or maybe you’re full of sh*t. Still, you write about it in your book:

Of Macron, she writes she was “slated to meet” him while in Paris for a political conference but “decided to cancel.” The president’s office said Noem never received a “direct invitation,” though it’s possible she and Macron were scheduled to attend the same event. In response to questions, Noem’s office said she doesn’t discuss her meetings with foreign leaders, though the book clearly disputes that. The Scout was later told the publisher would be “addressing conflated world leaders’ names in the book.” Read the full report here

Anyway these are just two of the non-cricket anecdotes Noem’s book will contain. Both as I say are Santos level bullshit. Who knows how much more there will be? My own guess is that this book will turn out to be quite the piece of fiction. Not that with all the other news we’ll hear much about it. For the most part the references to her book will talk about Noem’s cruelty. (She IS a cruel person and it’s good that people know that) However, she can’t stop publication at this point. She might be and probably is out of the running to be Trump’s VP pick. Still, like Nikki Haley she’s plenty young enough to make a Presidential run for at least two, maybe even three cycles. Or maybe go for a Senate seat.

Let’s just hope all the bullshit in her book gets exposed, and her political career is well and truly over.