Holy Batman, Batman! POW! BOP! WOMP! That’s what happened to Donald Trump today — in his mind. To anybody normal this would have been a nothing burger and to anybody gracious it would have been cause for levity. We don’t know what will (or has happened) to the reporter responsible for this, but maybe it was done on purpose. Or, maybe it was a Freudian slip. Or even a literal slip, outside on a windy March day. In all events, Trumpty Dumpty had a very peeved look on his face because his *dignity* (read raging narcissism) got offended. His Highness is only to be touched worshipfully and even then only by a select few. (See: Kim, Jong-Il, Putin, Vladimir, Dictators, et. al.)
WATCH: A reporter accidentally pushes a microphone into Trump’s face. pic.twitter.com/9uUCS5iuyv
— Republicans against Trump (@RpsAgainstTrump) March 14, 2025
What crossed my mind is what will Trump do tomorrow about this?
- Wear a bandage on his face, claiming part of it was blown off?
- Â Wear a bag over his head, in order to avoid future mishaps?
- Â Sign an executive order decreeing that any reporter who smudges his makeup forfeit a year’s salary right there on the spot?
- Have the Secret Service, only, handle microphones going forward?
- Claim that it was another assassination attempt?
Assault with a fluffy mic. What should that be, a Class D felony? Or up there with First Degree Murder? I'm very interested to know.
— Ursula Faw (@ursulafaw56) March 15, 2025
See, you can’t make this up. Touch the Mango Messiah with a wind sock (as they are called in radio stations) which are made out of nylon or foam (sometimes faux fur) and OMFG, it’s tantamount to ripping off one of Trump’s limbs.
I can’t wait for tomorrow. “Fake fur! They assaulted me with fake fur! Take that fake fur fake news woman to Guantanomo and make sure she goes through some things.” Poor Donald has been traumatized. Oh, my. He better have an extra large dose of Adderall to calm down and eat a lot of French fries. What a shocking day.
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Friends, if you can help us stay afloat so that we can cover these “assaults” we would be grateful. All donations go to pay overhead expenses so that the writers can get paid in this time of low traffic and Q1 low ad revenue. Thank you. Ursula
Too bad it had the foam protector on it – and a significant one. I think it would have been just grand to see his lips bleeding from a mic with no protector on it swiping across his fat, ugly mouth. It’s been a long, long time since I’ve spoken or sung into a mic but even in radio stations (I’ve got a bit of experience) there were seldom protectors on them and they can “bite” if your not careful. Hell, that’s part of why the protectors were made common!
A gat lip.for a fathead?
Jad to be an accident. If it had bern done intentionally, the sound guy would have lost their job. They still.may if Trump.pressures them. What’s one dound guy against access to the POTUS?
😢 Leave Sphincter Face alone! He’s old and even small attempts to take his life need a lot of recovery time! Yesterday, in his edict that he is now the “chief law enforcement officer in this country,” and that he will be prosecuting everyone for everything, he once again spoke of his miracle ear survival. But, although “God saved him” so that he could become our overlord, God did not save his ear from pain and “it is still throbbing.” So, let the old man alone! He is trying to save this country, the world, and his “shattered” ear at the same time!! 🫡🤪
Everyone is getting this wrong. In reallity, the microphone was so overcome with Dear Leader’s grace and manly beauty that it leapt forward trying to at least just graze that dewy, tangerine skin if not get an actual smooch from that Greek god of a man, sculpted of rock from Olympus itself by the hands of Michaelangelo, with life breathed into it by Jesus and the Holy Spirit. At least that’s how it was reported on Truth Social.